WHEN YOU’RE OUT SHOPPING DURING THE BUSY SHOPPING DAYS, MAKE SURE TO PLAN A STOP AT CLEAR BLUE RETREAT, SOUTH MAIN IN ABERDEEN, IN THE OLD DEPOT BUILDING……THERE’S NOT ONE PERSON OUT THERE WHO WOULDN’T WANT A HOT TUB FOR CHRISTMAS….IMAGINE SITTING IN A HOT TUB WHILE EVERYONE ELSE IS FREEZING THEIR TUSHIES OFF OUTSIDE……

1.  this will be the last blog for this week….i get a four day weekend…YIPPEE….i want to take this time to remind you wonderful folks to use thanksgiving day to think about what you are thankful for…we take a lot of things for granted, and many times we forget that all of our blessings come from above…..happy thanksgiving to you all….

2.  well, mitchell’s streak of kicking my behind in “nfl tour” continues…i really thought i could beat him last night, and then on the first play of the game he intercepted me….after that it was pretty much downhill….i’m not sure i will ever beat him at that game…i’ll update you if i do….

3.  i have a blast going into jones drug and verbally abusing the staff…ha ha……yesterday duncan told me that his giants were going to cream my skins this weekend, and he wondered if i dared show my face next week….i’ll be in, buddy…gloating about our win….ha ha..and a young lady that works there named jerrie has been a friend of mine since junior high, and she’s jeannie’s best friend from high school.

4.  we were watching a rerun of “celebrity rehab” last night and i couldn’t beleive what i heard…..music legend rod stewart’s own flesh and blood didn’t know who BUDDY HOLLY was…..they were going to watch crazyman gary busey’s amazing performance as buddy holly, and you should have seen the look busey gave him when he made that statement…by the way, gary busey looks like he’s one split second away from snapping and beating the crap out of people…he’s scary….

5.  i can’t decide if i want to see the new movie “australia” or not……jeannie and i are definetly going to see the new movie “four christmases”…looks pretty funny…

6.  a new zogby poll found that most americans believe that the internet is the most reliable source for news…..no kidding…the poll was an INTERNET POLL….

7.  a spokane, washington man robbed a gas station and then stepped outside and waited for police to arrest him…some people will do anything to get away from spending thanksgiving with the relatives….

8.  thanksgiving day is thursday…kids today apparently don’t know thier history very well…many kids think that the pilgrims ate dinner with the indians at their casino….

9.  a russian analyst is predicting the decline and break up of the united states….yeah right…that’s only going to happen if one of the states are dating yoko ono……

10.  fox news’ hannity and colmes are splitting up…let me guess…madonna’s involved……

11.  JOKE OF THE DAY….

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their AGE
What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock

Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner?
No, you should just have the turkey!

What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
Wing Wing

When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary!

How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
I’ll tell you at Christmas.

Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.

How much did the Mayflower weigh?
A Puri-TON

Why does a pilgrim’s pants always fall down?
Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat.

What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!

What’s a turkey’s favorite song?
“I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas”

What sound does a space turkey make?
Hubble, hubble, hubble.

Why do turkeys always go “gobble, gobble”?
Because they never learned good table manners!

Why can’t you take a turkey to church?
Because they use such FOWL language

What are the feathers on a turkey’s wings called?
Turkey feathers

What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
The turkey trot

Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Yes – a building can’t jump at all

What do Hippies put on their Thanksgiving potatoes?
Groovy

What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving

Why should you keep your eye off the turkey dressing?
Because it makes him blush!

What happened when the turkey met the axe?
He lost his head!

Teacher: “Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?”
Student: “Maybe they missed their plane.”

Why was Plymouth Rock so brave?
It was a little boulder.

Teacher: “Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?”
Student: “So we know when to start Christmas shopping!”

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur any leftovers?

When did the Pilgrims first say “God bless America?”
The first time they heard America sneeze!

What are unhappy cranberries called?
Blueberries!

How can you tell a male turkey from a female turkey?
The male is the one holding the remote control.

What do you call the dirt on a Pilgrim’s hands?
Pilgrime!

What is your favourite thing to make for Thanksgiving dinner?
Reservations!

Why didn’t the turkey eat dessert?
He was stuffed!

What’s blue and covered with feathers?
A turkey holding its breath!

What cat discovered America?
Christofurry Columbus!

Why was the monster tickled when he ate the turkey?
Because he forgot to pluck the feathers!

What’s the best way to stuff a turkey?
Take him out for pizza and ice cream!

How can you make a turkey float?
You need 2 scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a turkey

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside

Asked to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving,” little Johnny wrote, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”

Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play

What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
The turKEY

What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
Boy! I’m stuffed!

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Lots of drumsticks!

When the Pilgrims landed, where did they stand?
On their feet!

What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
Your teeth!

What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an octopus?
Eight feather dusters!

What kind of vegetables would you like for Thanksgiving dinner?
Beets me!

What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?
Your nose

Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
To hatchet.

Why did the Pilgrim eat a candle?
He wanted a light snack!

What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
The letter “g”!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Dewey have to wait long to eat?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Waddle.
Waddle who?
Waddle I do if you don’t open the door?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up, I’m hungry!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gladys.
Gladys who?
Gladys Thanksgiving. Aren’t you?

What do rich people eat on Thanksgiving?
14 Karats

Where did the first corn come from?
The stalk brought it

Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?
To keep his wigwam

What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?
He had an arrow escape

Why don’t you eat fish on Thanksgiving?
Because Thanksgiving never falls on a FRY-day.

 

 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE….TALK TO YA MONDAY MORNING…

jay dean

 

WHEN YOU BUY SOMETHING, DON’T YOU EXPECT LOCAL PEOPLE TO BE THERE TO ANSWER QUESTIONS AND PERFORM SERVICE?  WELL, THAT’S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU BUY A HOT TUB FROM CLEAR BLUE RETREAT…THEY’VE BEEN HERE FOR YEARS, AND THEY’RE LOCALLY OWNED AND MANAGED…CHECK THEM OUT..SOUTH MAIN IN ABERDEEN….

1.  there are many things that give me complete peace in this world….one of them is what i did last night.  a couple of times a month, i go to oakes, north dakota to visit three of my church people who are at the good samaritan home in oakes.  i absolutely love being with those people….and they completely cherish the minutes they spend with visitors….i have two 94 year olds, and a 96 year old and for the most part they are all pretty sharp…..my wish is this…i hope that each and every one of you spends some time at our area nursing homes over the holidays visiting people….put yourself in their place….if you were a resident there, wouldn’t you want people to stop by and visit?

2.  fox news channel has announced that their popular duo of hannity and colmes is splitting up soon…alan colmes is leaving to pursue other deals……i’m completely suprised that they haven’t killed each other by now……

3.  i actually have a cajun country cd in my car cd player right now…i love a lot of music, but cajun country with the accordians, fiddles, and washboards is a kind of music that i could listen to all day long…here’s some trivia for you?  did you know that a few years ago, i played washboard in a cajun band in new orleans?  yepper, i did…we were on a bus trip with fran helwig and toucan tours, when i was brought up on stage to play the washboard with a cajun band….the band said i did awesome, because i could keep the beat because i was a drummer…..LOVE THAT MUSIC….

4.  i couldn’t believe my eyes when i drove down sixth avenue yesterday and saw that the godfather’s pizza building was gone…..i was sad to see it go…had lots of beautiful memories of the place…their italian sausage pizza was amongst the best….in college we’d go down there for a mini pizza and then play video games for an hour or two.  oh, yeah, then we’d go get an education….(sorry mom and dad)

5.  i was watching a bit of “celebrity rehab” with dr. drew last night with my wife jeannie…this jeff conaway guy who played on the movie ‘grease’ is a total trainwreck…..how this guy has not been comitted is beyond me……..

6.  i’m going on a diet after thanksgiving…i really need to lose 20-30 pounds and i’m going to do it…just watch…….

7.  a 13 year old florida student has been arrested for passing gas in the classroom…ARRESTED?  good golly…i would have been on death row……

8.  hows this for ironic?  a man in warsaw, poland just bought a home on ‘INTERNET STREET.’  but he’s going to sell the home right away, because he can’t get internet service on his computer on that street…you can’t make crap like that up, folks…..

9.  lindsay lohan and her flame, samantha ronson have apparently been fighting like cats and dogs….apparently the fighting is over one of them leaving the toilet seat up…….

10.  JOKE OF THE DAY…

One morning a husband returns to his lake cabin after several hours of
fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book, enjoying the peace
and quiet.
Along comes a game warden in his boat.  He pulls up alongside the woman and
says, “Good morning Ma’am. What are you doing?”
“Reading a book,” she replies, (thinking, “Isn’t that obvious?”)
“You’re in a restricted fishing area,” he informs her.
“I’m sorry officer, but I’m not fishing, I’m reading.”
“Yes, but you have all the equipment.  For all I know you could start at any
moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”
“If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,” says the
woman.
“But I haven’t even touched you,” says the game warden.
“That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start
at any moment.”
“Have a nice day ma’am”, and he left.

OKAY, HOW ‘BOUT THIS ONE …..

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine
when he saw two men eating grass by the road side.
He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. “Why are you
eating grass?” he asked one man.
“We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied.
“Oh, come along with me then,” instructed the lawyer.
“But, sir I have a wife and two children!”
“Bring them along!” replied the lawyer. He turned to the other man and
said, “Come with us.”
“But sir, I have a wife and six children!” the second man answered.
“Bring them as well!” answered the lawyer as he headed for his limo.
They all climbed into the limo, which was no easy task considering how many
passengers were now in the car.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows said, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank
you for taking all of us with you.”
The lawyer replied, “No problem. The grass at my house is almost a foot
tall.”

THAT’S ALL FOR NOW…HAPPY TUESDAY EVERYONE….

jay dean

THE BIGGEST SHOPPING DAYS OF THE YEAR ARE THIS FRIDAY AND SATURDAY..MAKE SURE TO STOP IN AND GET A HOT TUB FROM CLEAR BLUE RETREAT, SOUTH MAIN IN ABERDEEN…A PROUD SPONSOR OF THE DAILY BLOG…

1.  we had our fall award night last night at the warner school…it was worth getting off the couch from football just to see coach randy hermansen in a vikings helmet with the long golden locks hanging down…he was so purty……

2.  it was movie weekend for the dean household this weekend…we went to see two movies…first of all, we saw “twilight” friday night on it’s opening night…it was me, jeannie, mitchell, and 200 screaming high school girls…ha ha…..it was a very very good movie that raked in over 70 million this weekend…good love story for you guys to take your wives to….then saturday afternoon we went to see “role models”…..this is the second time i saw the movie, and i think i liked it more the second time than i did the first time.  jeannie and mitchell loved it…it’s a very very funny movie….tyler took his girlfriend to it saturday night, and they loved it as well…..

3.  speaking of the movies, you’d better tell your kids this….amanda, the manager at carmike, told me friday night that she’s imposing a ‘zero tolerance’ policy towards cell phone and texting…if she sees a cell phone on during a movie, you’re out…it’s that simple, and it’s a policy i’ve been waiting to see implemented…..if you’re that important that you need your cell phone on for 90 minutes, then maybe you shouldn’t be at a movie in the first place…way to go amanda….

4.  we got our first taste of a christmas party already…billy from sportszone in the lakewood mall threw a party at his house saturday night and jeannie and i stopped over for food, fun, and friendship….billy’s quite a cook…his meatballs were to die for…..

5.  THANK YOU EVERYONE..we’re waiting for final totals, but it looks like the shoebox promotion at dr. darold opp’s office could top 500!!!!!!   wow, and he was thinking a hundred total…..by the way, my wonderful church, st. john’s in hecla donated 115 boxes to the cause…i’m so proud of them…….i’ll get official numbers later today and let you know in the morning…

6.  the new white house counsel for barrack o’bama is the same counsel that bill clinton had during his sex scandal…only this time, the guy will play close attention when barrack describes his position on interns……

7.  madonna was officially divorced on friday…that clicking sound you hear is wives padlocking thier husbands all over the world……

8.  on long island, new york, a dog knocked a running van into gear, damaging a local coffee house…when will fred learn to never leave the mystery machine running with scooby doo and shaggy inside…..

9.  a 13 year old boy in italy was taken to the hospital when he had an episode of illness and incoherence similar to a brain disorder while playing on his playstation too long…wow….that’s similar to grown men who play ‘guitar hero’ and suffer from the delusion that it makes them look cool….

10.  JOKE OF THE DAY….

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat
on tightly so that it would not blow off in the wind.
     A gentleman approached her and said: “Pardon me, madam.  I do not intend to
be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?”
     “Yes, I know,” said the lady, “I need both hands to hold onto this hat.”
     “But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!” said the
gentleman in earnest.
     The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, “Sir, anything
you see down there is 85 years old.  I just bought this hat yesterday!”

THANKSGIVING JOKE …….

    A man in Jacksonville calls his son in San Diego the day before Thanksgiving
and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and
I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.”
    “Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams.
     “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says.
“We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your
sister in Denver and tell her.”
    Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like hell
they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.”
    She calls Jacksonville immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT
getting divorced. Do not do a single thing until I get there. I am calling my
brother back, and we will both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing.
DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.
    The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says,
“they’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”

THAT’S ALL FOR NOW…HAPPY MONDAY…

jay dean


i got to work this morning and it was FOUR DEGREES ABOVE ZERO WITH A WIND CHILL OF TEN BELOW….BRRR…..perfect hot tub weather…get yours today at clear blue retreat, south main in aberdeen, a locally owned, locally ran store…isn’t that a novel idea?

1.  it’s the final day for you to take shoeboxes to dr. darold opp’s office…we will have official numbers next week, but they are going to be wonderful!!!!!  my church in hecla will top the 100 mark by sunday…pretty impressive for a smaller church….

2.  rosie o’donnell has just bitten the hand that feeds her…(must be a pretty big, heavy hand)….rosie o’donnell is blasting barbara walters, saying that she’s full of herself and other stuff…barbara struck back yesterday on “the view” by telling rosie to “get on with her life.”  rosie o’donnell needs to just shut up and go away…..

3.  there’s been a rash of 30 and 40 something people dying in this region….that tears me apart…i’m 44…..makes you really think about life…my sincere condolensces to all who have lost someone at a tender young age…..i cannot imagine what you are going thru.

4.  i was up this morning eating scrambled eggs and sausage around 4:40 this morning…i turned on my tv and lo and behold “no country for old men” was on showtime…I LOVE THAT MOVIE..if you have never seen the movie, it’s a terrific movie, but kind of a crappy ending that makes you sit there and think for awhile…..

5.  last night was a very typical night at home…jay comes home late, jeannie’s cleaning, tyler’s watching tv with his girlfriend, and mitchell’s in his room playing guitar…..you can almost find that any night at the dean household…..(i really hope mitch gets in a band someday, he’s a pretty good, self taught guitar player)

6.  ceo’s from the auto industry are being criticized for FLYING on private jets to d.c. to beg congress for money for their companies….this is stupid?  WHAT DID THEY EXPECT THEM TO DO?  DRIVE?   oh wait…….

7.  THIS IS REALLY STUPID…forbes magazine has named tom cruise’s and katie holmes’ daughter suri as “hollywood’s hottest toddler.”  she’s the hottest thing in hollywood and she can’t even walk without falling down….hey, she’s the new lindsay lohan……

8.  UNBELIEVABLE!!!  undercover officers in new hanover county, north carolina are in hot water for TASERING a suspect while he was serving as a pallbearer, loading his father’s casket into the hearse……the sheriff said they should have done it the old fashioned way, and beat him senseless with a nightstick….and by the way, the suspect was described as “possibly armed and extremely mournful….”

9.  senator ted stevens of alaska has lost his senate race….but, even though he’s going to prison, expect him to run again…..from the inmates in the shower room….

10.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

An elderly citizen called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has
been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the
dispatcher.
     “They’ve stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even
the accelerator!” she cried.
     The dispatcher said, “Stay calm. An officer is on the way.”
     A few minutes later, the officer radios in.
     “Disregard,” he says. “She got in the back-seat by mistake.”

Two fellows from Mississippi were sitting around talking one afternoon. 
    After a while the first fellow says to the second, “If’n I was to sneak over
to your trailer Saturday and make love to your wife while you was off huntin’,
and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?”
   The second fellow crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head,
and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.
   Finally, he says, “Well, I don’t know about that, but it sure would make us
even.”

OKAY, HOW ‘BOUT THIS ONE ……

     Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime,
the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one
began praying at the top of his lungs.
     “I PRAY FOR A BICYCLE… I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO… I PRAY FOR A NEW
VCR…”
     His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, “Why
are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.”
      To which the little brother replied, “No, but Gramma is!”

HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND EVERYONE….

jay dean

DO YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY SOUNDS GOOD RIGHT NOW?  SOAKING IN A NEW HOT TUB FROM CLEAR BLUE RETREAT IN ABERDEEN…FOLKS, THERE’S NO WHERE ELSE TO GO EXCEPT CLEAR BLUE RETREAT, SOUTH MAIN IN ABERDEEN, IN THE OLD DEPOT BUILDING….

1.  i’m a radio geek…while coming home from hecla last night, i was scanning a bunch of am stations, and found a station denver colorado…this station’s traffic person is named AMELIA EARHARDT….call me crazy, but if i was the boss, i wouldn’t be sending a woman named ‘AMELIA EARHARDT” up in a helicopter……..

2.  a huge huge huge huge thank you to everyone who brought shoeboxes to me while i broadcast ‘live’ the last couple of days..you people are wonderful…you still have until friday afternoon to take yours to dr. darold opp…remember, dr. opp is going to pay for shipping and handling of these boxes next week.

3. speaking of shoeboxes, when i left st. john’s in hecla on sunday, we had 74 shoeboxes sitting out in the narthex…when i went there last night i counted them again, and now we have 97 boxes…WOW…my congregation is so wonderful…plus i found out that numerous other ones are coming in sunday..we’re going to break 100 shoeboxes out of one smaller congregation….that’s the power of God working……

4.  big news for aberdeen and for south dakota…tom daschle is joining barrack o’bama’s cabinet as the health and human services secretary…..this can only be good for south dakota…

5.  this getting dark at 5:30 crap sucks…..i’m ready for bed every night aroun 6:30 and i don’t like it…and coming home from hecla in the complete dark at 7:30pm is for the birds……

6.  seeing brooke shields on tv a lot lately has rekindled the fire i had for her back in the 70’s and 80’s.  she is totally gorgeous….and sexy…and hot….you get the drift……

7.  91 year old senator robert byrd has turned over the chair of the senate appropriations committee to 84 year old senator daniel inouye…..91 and 84…hmmmmm…..if we keep this up, we’re going to have all of these “punk kids” running our government…..ha ha

8.  a long lost document has surfaced in which a german army medic confirms that adolph hitler only had one testicle….hmmm…now we find out that he was only half nuts…..

9.  a 74 year old boston woman was threatened with a lien on her home unless she paid a ONE CENT overdue water bill….the lady is so angry that she’s threatening to pay the entire bill with pennies.

10.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures
alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she
seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers.
     When he does she begins to gently caress his full beard. “Are you the
manager?” she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.
     “Actually, no,” the man replied.
     “Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him” she says, running her
hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
     “I’m afraid I can’t,” breathes the bartender. “Is there anything I can
do?”
     “Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message,” she continues, running
her forefinger across the bartender’s lips and slyly popping a couple of her
fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
     “What should I tell him?” the bartender manages to say.
     “Tell him,” she whispers, “there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper
towels in the ladies room.”

THAT’S ALL FOR NOW…AS ALWAYS, REMEMBER YOU CAN GET AHOLD OF ME AT jaydean@hubcityradio.com

JAY DEAN

CLEAR BLUE RETREAT BRINGS YOU TODAY’S DAILY BLOG…IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR A NEW OR USED HOT TUB, THE ONLY PLACE TO GO IS CLEAR BLUE RETREAT, SOUTH MAIN IN ABERDEEN IN THE OLD DEPOT BUILDING. 

1.  i have a lot of respect for my wife and other women who play volleyball in the civic arena.  there is no way i would like to be on the recieving end of some of those ball that are coming over the net.

2.  i really hope to see you today as i broadcast at 10am, noon, and 2pm around aberdeen collecting shoeboxes full of toys for “operation christmas child”, sponsored by dr. darold opp.  remember, you can bring us cash, a shoebox full, or just bring a bag of stuff and we’ll pack it in a shoebox.  today’s the last day we will broadcast, so listen to where i am, and come out and support a great cause.

3.  jeff dunham is the best ventriliquist i have ever seen….his new christmas special is on comedy central right now….speaking of christmas, i couldn’t beleive that i saw “the grinch who stole christmas” on tv last weekend…man, that’s early….

4.  boy do i suck at football picks…whatever you folks do, listen to our picks, and do the opposite of what i pick…i am now 27 games behind scott solberg…that could be a record for stupidity.

5.  recently i watched “the banana splits”, “h.r. puffinstuff”  and “land of the lost”.  they certainly didn’t withstand the test of time…it’s hard to believe that i got up at 5:30am to watch cartoons when i was a kid…..and by the way, saturday mornings suck right now on tv..one channel actually has a saturday morning edition of a weekly news show….what happened to saturday mornings being about the kids?

6.  can’t wait to see the new movie ‘twilight” this weekend…and no, i didn’t read the book.  i don’t read books unless it’s the bible, or if it’s about hank williams, sr……i think that hank williams, sr. is the most incredible genius in music ever.

7.  barrack o’bama has invited his mother in law to live with him in the white house…and he thought congress was going to bitch and nag……..

8.  a des moines man is suing martha stewart and kmart after his fingertip was chopped off by a collapsing lounge chair…the man said that his career as a “hand model”, is over because of the event….he should be glad he’s not a porn star….

9.  a british woman kissed 42 men in 30 seconds…guiness calls it a world record…madonna calls it ‘tuesday’…….

10.  JOKE OF THE DAY…

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley
motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.  The surgeon
was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike.
     The mechanic shouted across the garage:  “Hey Doc, can I ask you a
question?”
     The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the
motorcycle.
     The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked: “So Doc,
look at this engine.  I open its heart, take valves out, fix’ em, put ’em back
in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small
salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the
same work?”
     The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic:
“Try doing it with the engine running!”

OR THIS ONE…..

Bill and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year and every year
Bill would say, “Martha, I’d like to ride in that airplane.”
    Martha always replied, “I know Bill, but that airplane ride costs 10
dollars, and 10 Dollars is 10 dollars.”
    One year Bill and Martha went to the fair and Bill said, Martha, I’m 81
years old. If I don’t ride that airplane I might never get another chance.”
    Martha replied, “Bill, that airplane ride costs 10 dollars, and 10 dollars
is 10 dollars.”
    The pilot overheard them and said, “Folks, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take
you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say
one word, I won’t charge you; but if you say one word it’s 10 dollars.”
    Bill and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists
and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over
again, but still not a word.
    When they landed, the pilot turned to Bill and said, “By golly, I did
everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.”
    Bill replied, “Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but 10
dollars is 10 dollars.”

that’s it for now…enjoy your wednesday…

jay dean

IT’S HOT TUB SEASON…WARM UP WITH A NEW OR USED HOT TUB FROM CLEAR BLUE RETREAT SOUTH MAIN IN ABERDEEN….THEY ARE IN THE OLD DEPOT BUILDING…STOP BY AND SAY “HI”.

1.  OUT OF THE MOUTH OF BABES….i was at my credit union yesterday, and one of the employees told me that they had asked their 8 year old son if he wanted to go to washington, d.c…..the boy stated that he wanted to go, because he wanted to see what was in barrack o’bama’s cupboard…….mom didn’t quite understand, so her son told her that he was told that barrack was filling his cupboard….she then realized that he meant “filling his cabinet.”  YOU CAN’T MAKE STUFF LIKE THAT UP, FOLKS…FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY….

2.  i still cannot beat mitchell on x-box 360 “nfl tour.”  i had him on the ropes last night, and then he came up with a win in the final couple of minutes…frustrating…i beat tyler, ONCE…and i’ve lost to mitchell like ten times….mitch, my time is coming to kick your butt….

3.  can’t believe it’s november 18th already…that means tyler’s graduation is creeping closer…still not ready for it……but, thanksgiving and christmas and new years will be here in no time, and then it’s down to the final five months.

4.  i have to give barrack o’bama credit…he’s looking across the aisle at both parties to find THE BEST PEOPLE to put in his cabinet….i respect him for that….wonder if he has a job for me?  i could be his press secretary….

5.  if any of you are on “facebook”, you can add me as your friend…i’m under “jay dean”…..last night i put on my heading, “jay dean is ready to run for governor of south dakota.”  i’ve already had 7 comments on that from my friends and family….of course, i’m not running yet, but i would love to do that someday…..

6.  president elect barrack o’bama has officially resigned from the u.s. senate….GREAT…ANOTHER JOBLESS AMERICAN WAITING TO MOVE INTO GOVERNMENT HOUSING….

7.  YUCK…nasa said that the space shuttle astronauts are consuming purified URINE as thier drinking water…..didn’t they do that before?  wasn’t it then called “tang”?

8.  despite rumors, paula abdul says she will not step down from american idol..fall down maybe, but not step down…..

9.  a 61 year old man rode from oklahoma to washington state ON A HORSE…during the ride he was heard griping, “THIS IS THE LAST TIME I RENT FROM BUDGET…”

10.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

A doctor’s phone rang at home at three o’clock in the morning.
     Sleepily he answered “Hello?”
     A very frantic woman said, “Doctor, our baby just swallowed a condom.”
     The Doctor said, “Take him to the hospital, and I’ll meet you just as soon
as I get there.”
     He started putting on his clothes and was just getting ready to walk out
the door, when the phone rang again.
     He answered “Hello?”
     A very calm voice on the other end of the line said, “It’s all right
Doctor, we found another one, never mind.”

OKAY, HOW ‘BOUT THIS ONE ……

    A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he
said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the
river.”
    With even greater emphasis, he said, “And if I had all the wine in the
world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”
    And then, finally, he said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d
take it and throw it into the river.”
    Then he sat down.
    The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a pleasant
smile, “For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365: ‘Shall We Gather At the
River.’

THAT’S ALL FOR NOW…MAKE SURE TO FIND ME TODAY AND BRING ME YOUR SHOEBOXES FOR DR. DAROLD OPP….

jay dean