random thoughts for wednesday february 18th, 2009

1.  my apologies to anyone at the 7:00 showing of “confessions of a shopaholic” last night.  i was walking around checking the theaters during the movies, and i stood in the back and watched a couple of minutes of the movie.  unfortunately, i had a little popcorn with me, and one of them kind of lodged in my throat and i let out a big gasp.  i walked out in the hallway and helped the kernel make it’s way down.  kinda scary….

2.  my most anticipated movie of the coming month?  ALIENS VS. MONSTERS…it’s a cartoon, but it looks simply hilarious.

3.  my night got made last night.  after “gran torino” ends, i get the poster that’s out in the lobby…YEE HAW…i’m not usually hip on taking posters home, but i have to have this one…by the way, your time is running out to see this masterpiece of a movie.

4.  CRAP…..fleetwood mac is in the twin cities on march 3rd, and i never knew about it…..

5.  why is it that when the stop lights switch from green to yellow, that it means to gun the heck out of your car.  i saw two very close accidents yesterday from people speeding thru a yellow.  i can’t complain too much, because i’ve done it too.

6.  i’ve been working a ton of hours lately…i miss my wife and kids………

7.  retail sales were up one percent in january…probably because of all the orders to print pink slips….

8.  the elevator music system called “muzak” has filed for bankruptcy…..see, the economic problems aren’t all bad.

9.  a new report says that one in three adults have some sort of hearing issues….at least that’s what i thought it said……

10.  new york senator kirsten gillibrand, who replaced hillary clinton,  has moved the two rifles that she kept under her bed to protect her home…..hillary told her that the only thing she needs to shoot in the bedroom is a “dirty look.”

11.  speaking of hillary, our new secretary of state has warned north korea’s kim jong-il not to carry out a planned missile test.  hillary threatened him, and then out of routine and habit told him “and you can bet your sweet rear end that you’ll be spending the night on the couch, buster.”


A boy was in trouble so he had too go to bed early. He got in bed and asked his dad for a glass of water, so his dad brought him a glass.

Five minutes later the boy called down too his dad, ”can I have another glass of water?”

So, his dad brought him up one. Five minutes later the boy called back down too his dad saying ”can I have another glass of water?”

His dad said NO, if you ask me one more time I’m going too come up there and spank you.

Five minutes later the boy called down, ”on your way up too spank me can you bring me a glass of water?

jay dean

random thoughts for tuesday february 17th, 2009

1.  i’ve fallen in love AGAIN with “the history channel.”  the last couple of days they’ve had programs on the life and times of abraham lincoln.  i didn’t know that there was actually a plan to steal his body from his grave.  i learned a bunch last night…apparently old dogs can learn new tricks…ha ha

2.  for the very first time, we have “high definition” in our house.  some programs are super super cool to watch, but other channels are “ho hum.”  is it worth it?  yes from me, no from the wife.

3.  lots of flu’s, head colds, sinus infections and other junk going around right now.  if you feel like crap, get to your doctor and get some medicine.  catch it early and it won’t take so long to get over.  i have friends that have been fighting stuff for 3-4 weeks now.

4.  if i  ran “the cartoon network”, it would be more cartoons from the 70’s and 80’s….like “inch high private eye,” “the groovie ghoulies”, “penelope pitstop”, “land of the lost”, “sigmund and the seamonsters” and more.  i could watch those shows for hours.

5.  i’ve gone thru sports withdrawal….the nfl is over, and depression sets in…ha ha….thank GOODNESS for the nfl network…i just can’t get into the nba…and i get excited for college  basketball, but really don’t get super pumped up until march madness.

6.  i wonder how this horrible economy will affect “we-fest?”

7.  a new survey picks abraham lincoln as the best president ever….former president george w. bush is 36 out of 42….former president bill clinton scored 15….and that’s just since lunch yesterday…..

8.  a new study says that the popular antidepressant “zoloft” isn’t very effective…..users don’t really seem to care……oh wait……

9.  baseball commissioner bud selig said that  A-ROD will have to live with the damage he’s done to his name and reputation….but then again, so does everybody else who’s dated madonna.


92 year-old Jacob and 85 year-old Rebecca are all excited about their
decision to get married.
     They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go past a
     Jacob suggests that they go in.
     He addresses the man behind the counter: “Are you the owner?”
     The pharmacist answers “Yes.”
     Jacob: “Do you sell heart medication?”
     Pharmacist: “Of course we do.”
     Jacob: “How about medicine for circulation?”
     Pharmacist: “All kinds.”
     Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism?”
     Pharmacist: “Definitely.”
     Jacob: “Medicine for memory?”
     Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety.”
     Jacob: “What about vitamins and sleeping pills?”
     Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”
     Jacob turns to Rebecca: “Sweetheart, we might as well register our wedding
gift list with them.”


jay dean

random thoughts for monday february 16th, 2009

1.  why doesn’t anybody want to hear my recession proof stimulus package?  take the billions that they are going to hand out, and offer american citizens low low interest loans to pay off their debt.  maybe three percent interest.  the government gets the money back with interest, people help out the banks by paying off their stuff, and generate more income that they can spend on cars, trips, etc.  BUT, IT MAKES TOO MUCH SENSE FOR WASHINGTON TO UNDERSTAND….what do you think?  e-mail me at jaydean@hubcityradio.com

2.  i heard the dumbest story on the news last week.  there’s this lady who has the longest fingernails in the guiness book of world records.  she was in  a very bad car accident last week, and she has very serious, but non life threatening injuries.  all the media focused on was the fact that she broke her fingernails.  GEE WHIZ….it sounded so stupid….”a woman broke her fingernails after getting in a bad bad accident.”  must have been a slow news day.

3.  it’s funny how i could watch the crowds while i was working at carmike theaters over the weekend, and could see how they were going to do in the box office.  the new clive owen film “the international” did very poorly at carmike, and it didn’t even make the top five in the nation over the weekend.  by the way, “FRIDAY THE 13TH” slashed up the box office over the weekend…(sorry)…..it had the biggest opening weekend for a horror film, EVER….

4.  lots of illnesses out there….our “prayer list” at st. john’s in hecla continues to grow every week.  i’ve never seen so many names on it than yesterday.  it’s probably the stress of our economy.

5.  my son mitchell works at carmike with me….i love having him there with me.

6.  i heard a designer on the radio early this morning, talking about the egotistical hollywood stars getting to wear designer dresses for the oscar show…..he hates the idea of these artists wearing the dresses and “bringing them back full of pit stains.”  as he put it….he said that the worst “pit stains” was angelina jolie….now, that’s funny…and a bit gross….

7.  during president’s day today, president barack o’bama will remember the many men who no longer walk the halls of the white house…..is he talking about some of his cabinet appointments?

8.  sad news..the inventor of the “taser” passed away recently…people who knew him were “stunned.”  WOW…..

9.  a public relations firm that signed the california octuplet mom recently, severed ties with her after receiving death threats….that’s okay…she’s used to people cutting the cord with her….

10.  a british opera house has confirmed that they have plans to do a show about anna nicole smith…..so far, eight guys have claimed that they wrote it…..(think about it)

11.  siegfried and roy return to the las vegas stage on february 28th.  why do tigers love performing with these legends?  they get a dinner AND a show….


Two Irish hunters got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose.
    They bagged six.
    As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the
plane could take only four moose.
    The two lads objected strongly. “Last year we shot six, and the pilot let us
put them all on board; he had the same plane as yours.”
    Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded.
    However, even with full power, the little plane couldn’t handle the load and
went down a few moments after take-off.
    Climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Seamus, “Any idea where we are?”
    Seamus says, “Not sure but I think we’re pretty close to where we crashed
last year.”


jay dean

random thoughts for friday february 13th, 2009

IT’S FRIDAY THE 13TH…BE CAREFUL OUT THERE…actually, i’m not superstitious, so it’s no big deal to me.

1.  speaking of friday the 13th, the remake of the classic jason vorhees murder movie “friday the 13th” comes out tonight at carmike cinema 9 theaters.  this means a theater full of junior high and high school kids with cell phones blazing and talking to each other.  here’s a little tip…your old buddy jay dean is going to be patroling the theaters tonight….behave or else…ha ha

2.  well, the verdict is in…IT’S BRONCHITIS AND A SEVERE SINUS INFECTION…i haven’t felt good all week  long, and you can probably tell by my voice that it hasn’t been good.  anyway, my good doctor, dr. matushin, loaded me up with good stuff yesterday, so i went home and started taking medicine and took about a three and a half hour supernap.

3.  speaking of being home all day, TV SUCKS….geez…the more channels you have the more it sucks…..a person always dreams of a day at home to lay on the couch and watch tv, and when you finally get there there isn’t anything to watch.  even my movie channels were showing horrible movies yesterday.

4.  well, we’re at that stage of our lives where it’s me and jeannie curled up on the couch at night, and both kids out running around until after we go to bed.  time is flying way too fast.

5.  speaking of time flying, we had tyler’s last parent teacher’s conferences yesterday. i didn’t go because i was sick, but it’s another finality in a year that’s going way too quickly.

6.  my hope for 2009 is that the lakewood mall finally gets that old walmart store filled in.  it would seem to me that offering some big chain a year’s free rent would entice them to come in.  something has to be done to improve traffic at the mall.

7.  on valentine’s day, a zoo in michigan is charging 50 dollars for people to watch the mating rituals of animals…no thanks…i’ll just keep my good ole telescope that’s focused on our neighbors houses. 

8.  arkansas lawmakers have approved a bill that allows concealed guns in church….there, that should help get more money in the collection plates.

9.  a georgia man was accidentally run over at a car lot when a salesman started the vehicle and hit the guy.  that’s a hell of a way to demonstrate how ‘onstar’ works……

10.  india is planning it’s first manned space flight in 2015.  what’s the biggest advantage of having such a high end program in india?  tech support is a local call.

11.  nicollette sheridan is leaving ‘desperate housewives.’  she said that she wants to try a roll where she actually stands up.

12.  the economy has forced the 20th anniversary of the movie “field of dreams” to be scrapped.  these days its “build it and they will come….and foreclose.”


Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother’s
house.  Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.  When
Little Johnny received his
plate, he started eating right away.
    “Johnny!  Please wait until we say our prayer.”  said his mother.
    “I don’t need to,”  the boy replied.
    “Of course, you do.”  his mother insisted.  “We always say a prayer before
eating at our house.”
    “That’s at our house.”  Johnny explained.  “But this is Grandma’s house and
she knows how to cook!”


jay dean

random thoughts for thursday february 12th, 2009

1.  it’s amazing how much the weather can change in a few mile area.  when i left hecla last night around 7:30 it was snowing like crazy, and blowing, too.  in fact, we did a pizza fundraiser at our church in hecla and the guy who delivered the pizzas from valley city said that he was going sideways down the highway on the way to hecla.  then, i get ten miles out of aberdeen, and BOOM, it was over. i was actually driving 35-40 miles an hour for quite a few miles.

2.  last night at confirmation at the church in hecla, we kind of abandoned our workbook and had an awesome conversation about ‘racism’.  we then turned our attention to the book of “revelation”.  it was actually a very enlightening conversation, and i think the kids learned a bunch from it.

3.  sean penn’s new movie “milk” is at the capitol theater starting friday night.  it’s the story of harvey milk, an openly gay san francisco politician.  critics are raving about the film, and i know my sons want to see it, so we’ll probably go see it next week.

4.  i hear rumors of another eatery coming to the lakewood mall…could it possibly be “pizza” again?  hopefully…

5.  i’m tired of being sick…..i actually thought about staying home today, but hey, i’m a team player so i’m here……i would like nothing more than to go into a “nyquil coma” and hit the bed for a  few hours…..

6.  brett favre retired AGAIN yesterday…all the talk on espn and especially in minneapolis radio was that he will be the vikings next quarterback….i personally hope he stays retired, because with all this flip flopping, it’s starting to hurt his legacy. 

7.  the dog that won the westminster show is SEVENTY YEARS OLD, and just came out of retirement….he’s the canine brett favre.

8.  canadian researchers say that they’ve build a mind-reading machine.  guys already have a name for it…..a woman….

9.  dc comics is promoting a new story line in it’s batman comics where bruce wayne is missing and presumed dead, while others take over his role of protecting gotham city.  leading the way is the new batwoman, an openly gay woman….great….now i just have to try and get the image of rosie o’donnell in spandex out of my head.


There were three couples that went to a church and asked to join. There was
a newly wed couple, a middle-aged couple, and a older couple. The pastor told
them that they had to go without sex for two weeks.
     Two weeks later they came back to that same church. The pastor asked the
newly wed couple how it went. They replied “It was hard the first week, but then
we made it through.”
     He asked the older couple, and they replied “we did not have sex at all for
the two weeks.”
     He asked the middle-aged couple and the man said “She dropped a paint
     The pastor said “She dropped a paint can?”
     The man replied, “She bent over with a paint can in her hand and I just had
to get her right then and there!”
     The pastor said, “I’m sorry you cannot step foot into this church again!”
     The man said,  “That’s okay, we can’t go into Home Depot either!!”


jay dean

random thoughts for wednesday february 11th, 2009

1.  here’s the jay dean tip of the day:  NEVER EVER TAKE BENEDRYL AND GO TO WORK….wow….i was an absolute ZOMBIE last night working at carmike theaters.  i don’t know what the heck i was thinking taking them about  a half hour before i went to work.  not a good idea.

2.  girl scout cookies are now reduced fat?  ISN’T ANYTHING SACRED ANYMORE?  ha ha

3.  the best thing about facebook?  keeping up with classmates from high school.  and, talking with people that i never ever thought i’d hear from again.  i’m talking long lost people from when we lived in lisbon, north dakota.  i also have found classmates from langford, veblen, and campbell tintah, minnesota.

4.  yesterday i played a doubleshot of the “bay city rollers” on my morning double dose.  a couple of the original members of the bay city rollers are touring right now….as much as i liked them, i don’t think i could watch 55-65 year old men playing the “fun spirited” songs of the 70’s.  it would be weird….oh, what the heck, i would go if presented the opportunity.

5. my fellow co-workers at carmike cinema 9 theaters tell me that someday soon, i will get really tired of popcorn….i can’t even imagine that…i could eat popcorn every single night, especially theater popcorn.  i remembe when i worked at pizza hut for three years, i never ever got tired of pizza.

6.  i hate being sick….i know that i probably need one full day in bed, but i doubt i will do that…too busy i guess…..by the way, when i was in late grade school, i came home one day and told my mom and dad that i had seen a sign that said, “BEING SICK IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH.'” and they laughed and laughed…i had no idea what they were laughing at….now i know….

7.  this saturday is valentines day….after a romantic dinner, a dozen roses, and dancing by candlelight, your spouse will whisper those three familiar words….”I’M TOO TIRED.”

8.  monday is president’s day…legend has it that george washington once heaved a silver dollar across the potomac.  to commerorate this event, this week congress will throw lots of money away.

9.  a new york madam said that wall street bankers paid for sex and wrote it off as CONSULTING WORK.  so, how is a prostitute like a consultant?  they charge lots of money to tell you that you’re doing it wrong.

10.  the westminster dog show took place monday and tuesday at madison square garden…a champion breed can always smell victory…or it could be the dog’s butt in front of them.

11.  a man in sweden set a world record by watching 72 straight hours of television…and then the grammy’s ended.

12.  paris hilton and giants pitcher barry zito are apparently dating….it’s a good match…both of them will let anybody get to second base.

13.  A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their
bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him
sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears
deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from
his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
    “What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room, “Why are
you down here at this time of night?”
    “Do you remember when I met you and you were only 16?” he asks solemnly.
    The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and
sensitive. “Yes, I do” she replies.
    The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. “Do you remember when
your father caught us in the back seat of my car, making love?”
    “Yes, I remember!” says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
    The husband continues… “Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my
face and said, “Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to jail for 20
    “I remember that, too” she replies softly.
    He wipes another tear from his cheek, and says… “I would have gotten out


jay dean

random thoughts for tuesday february 10th, 2009

1.  well, looks like most of the region has dodged another winter storm.  the rain we had yesterday sure put a dent in the snow as well.  i say let’s not have any more snow this season and just get ready for spring…how’s that sound?  too bad we can’t vote on it.

2.  i was reading in the “tennesseean” newspaper out of nashville this morning, that the tennessee republicans kicked a member out of it’s party, so the guy became a democrat.  the republicans FINALLY after many many years gained one mor seat than democrats, and now they gave that up….the guy must have been A REAL SCHMUCK…..

3.  i wake up every morning around 3:40am, and read about seven newspapers on the internet…..i love reading newspapers to see what’s going on around the world.  i read the “american news”, the “watertown public opinion”, the “sioux falls argus leader”, the “minneapolis star tribune”, the “washington post”, the “tennesseean” and the “fargo forum.”  geez…you’d think after all that reading that i would be smarter….apparently not…ha ha

4.  while “patroling” the theaters over the weekend, i got to stand in the back of the theaters and watch bits and pieces of some of the movies.  i certainly did find a couple of movies that i really don’t care to see.  but in the previews, i saw a movie coming out called “monsters and aliens.”  I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THAT ONE…it’s kind of like “monsters inc.”, which i loved.

5.  i’m in the wrong business to wake up in the morning with not much of a voice.  i don’t feel sick at all, but i have that crappy throat and drainage going on.  early in the morning i have that “james earl jones” deep voice going on….i walk around the room going, “THIS IS CNN.”

6.  my car looks like it was in a war zone….not just on the inside but on the outside, too..ha ha….yesterday i hit a run in the road that was way way deep with water.  it completely covered my car with water and mud streaks.  it was so bad that i had two comments before 5:30 this morning on how dirty my car is.  and of course, i’m not going to wash it yet, because it  won’t stay clean in this gunky stuff.

7.  56 year old jennifer figge took 24 days to swim from africa to trinidad, becoming the first woman to swim the atlantic ocean.  you know, jennifer, cruise rates are really affordable right now.

8.  a researcher claims that during a passionate kiss, emotions are determined when the brain recieves a CERTAIN CHEMICAL…and that chemical is?…….COORS LIGHT….

9.  a-rod (alex rodriguez) admitted yesterday that he tested positive for steroids.  after dating madonna, he’s lucky that’s the one thing he tested positive for.


An old man was eating lunch at a mall food court and he noticed a teenager
with spiked hair and each spike was a different color – red, blue, green,
orange, and yellow.
    Every time the teenager looks over he sees the old man staring at him.
    This goes on for a while and finally the teen said to the old man “What’s
your problem old man, haven’t you ever done something crazy in your life?”
    Without hesitation the old man says “Yeah. I got so drunk one time. I hooked
up with a parakeet and I was just wondering if you were my son.”


jay dean