well, another year of confirmation is done at st. john’s in hecla.  i’m going to really miss my four students over the summer.  it’s been a great year of spiritual bonding.  shelby is going to be confirmed on the 10th, and she has been an incredible student.

2. after confirmation last night, i stopped uptown hecla to pick up a pizza for the way home, and two of my young men from the church challenged me to a couple of games of air hockey…i LOVE air hockey so i took the challenge…both kris and trevor beat me 7-5…..we had the puck flying all over the room last night…it was fun…except for the losing part….

3.  wow…what a blast of rain last night…while i was driving home from hecla, i could see it coming at me, and BOOM i was in it, and it was almost impossible to drive in it….it rained so heavy that water was ponding on the road, and i actually was hydroplaning once or twice…..i hope this heavy rain didn’t cause more problems with the flooding situation…..

4.  my son mitchell informed me which song the chorus will be singing a week from tonight during tyler’s last concert.  while the kids are delivering roses to the parents, the warner chorus will be singing trace adkin’s hit “you’re gonna miss this.”  OMG…..i could cry just thinking about it…..

5.  i had a super funny thing happen to me yesterday…i bought a new suit recently and the pants needed to be hemmed….so i took my suit to a friend of mine who’s a professional sewer, and as i walked in she said, “oh good..you’re finally bringing in that suit you’ve been wearing for three years that has the pants too long.”  i looked at her and smiled and said, “ummm…nooooo…..this is a brand new suit, but apparently i’ll be bringing my old suit in too.”  it was absolutely hilarious…i think she was a bit embarrassed, but she has nothing to be embarrassed about….i needed a good laugh yesterday and i got it…….

6.  when people you know die suddenly you start thinking about your own mortality….i am not afraid to die…i just don’t want to yet….but if it happens, or i get sick, i’ll handle it with dignity and i will not be afraid of it happening.

7.  i love my children so so so very much…i brought my son mitchell’s car in today to get some brake work done, because it has a bit of a problem stopping right now…ha ha….mitch was sincerely concerned last night about his dad driving the car….he told me a few times, “dad, be careful…it’s hard to stop and i don’t want anything to happen to you.”  he’s so awesome…

8.  first lady michelle obama made this year’s list of people magazine’s “most beautiful people.”  bill clinton has already sent her an e-mail asking her if she’s seeing anyone.

9.  a radio shack clerk in eau claire, wisconsin, was arrested on battery charges after he allegedly punched a dissatisfied customer in the face….in his defense, radio shack IS the battery store….

10.  a man in russia astounded doctors by drinking at least EIGHT BOTTLES OF VODKA and surviving…..then he was killed by his friends for drinking all thier vodka…..

11.  president obama’s first 100 days are being lauded as a success….hopefully they don’t celebrate by taking  a victory lap around the statue of liberty again….

12.  the estimate is that a swine flu vaccine could take six months to develop and distribute……who’s in charge of this operation anyway?  FEMA?

13.  a north dakota woman has been charged after breast feeding her baby while completely drunk….in her defense, she was drinking jug wine….

14.  the tv show “lost” aired it’s 100th episode last night…which can only mean one thing….that’s 100 episodes of ‘lost’ that i’ve intentionally missed now….

15.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, “Okay, let’s get out and get him.” After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, “The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?” The guy in the front says, “Well, I’m going to start nibbling grass, but you’d better brace yourself.”

THAT’S ALL FOR TODAY…ENJOY THE LAST DAY OF APRIL…

JAY DEAN

1.  yesterday must have been “national careless driving day”.  in a four block area of sixth avenue, i saw FOUR NEAR MISSES yesterday.  two of them were people coming out of a store’s parking lot and turning left into oncoming traffic, and the other two were people changing lanes without using their blinkers or common sense.  one of the people who turned left out of a parking lot, did so from the right lane of a two lane road….really smart….

2.  comedian ron white has a new cd out and i’m going to have to pick it up…actually, i’ll get the dvd….i think ron white is amongst the two or three funniest comedians out there….his observations on life just about kill me.

3.  terrance ketterling from ketterling photography in aberdeen took a picture of me and jeannie and the boys at the warner prom a few weeks back.  yesterday he sent us a copy and WOW…what a beautiful picture…looks like we may have our christmas card pictures already…thanks terrance…you do great work…..

4.  the rock band “FOREIGNER” is coming to the state fair in huron….being the brown county fair isn’t putting on any pop or rock bands AGAIN this year, we’ll be heading to huron for the day.  there are actually two foreigner bands touring…one with lead singer lou gramm, the other with foreigner founder mick jones….the “gramm” foreigner band was at the casino in hankinson a couple of years ago…we saw them and they weren’t very good…the “mick jones” foreigner is the one coming to huron, and they look really really good….

5.  i’ve had the good fortune of running into a few of my old college buddies recently….it got me thinking…i would DIE if i tried living the college life again……

6.  it’s our final night of confirmation tonight at st. john’s in hecla….i’m sure the kids are looking forward to a break until october…..and actually, i’m kind of excited about it, as well…i have a GREAT bunch of kids up there, so it makes it easy and super fun for me….

7.  i told you recently about a hecla boy that goes to our church who had an eye injury recently…his dad told me last night that they’re taking his eye out today….our prayers are certainly with the family today….that cannot be easy as a parent to make that decision……

8.  did you hear about air force one flying near the statue of liberty the other day?  nobody warned new york officials, and people all over new york were scurrying for cover, thinking that it was another day like september 11th, 2001….then they found out that it was a PHOTO OPPORTUNITY for air force one….WOW WAS THAT DUMB…doesn’t our government realize that with photoshop they can not only place the planes next to lady liberty, but they can also make the statue look topless…..

9.  the center for disease control says that the best way to avoid swine flu is to continuously wash your hands…which is mild compared their advice of you “being deloused and boiled” every time you touch amy whinehouse.

10.  kobe bryant of the lakers has a fan site that charges fans 50 dollars….subscribers will have access to a blog that kobe updates every two weeks…which is the same exact time that he actually passes the ball.

11.  researchers say that loud noises startle skinny people more than they scare fatter people…that’s because us heavier people can’t hear the approaching fire truck over the crunching sound of a bag of cheetos…..

12.  this past monday the nba’s new orleans hornets lost by FIFTY EIGHT POINTS at home to the denver nuggets…it was such a horrible spanking that social serices were called.

13.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in
his son’s medicine cabinet, he asked

about using one of the pills.

take one Dad; they’re very strong

and very expensive.”

try one, and before we leave in the

morning, I’ll put the money

under the pillow.”

$110 under the pillow. He called

Grandpa and said, “I told

you each pill was

$10, not $110.

hundred is from

Grandma!”

The son said, “I don’t think you shou ld

“How much?” asked Grandpa.

“$10.00 a pill,” Answered the son.

“I don’t care,” said Grandpa, “I’d still like to

Later the next morning, the son found

“I know,” said Grandpa. “The

THAT’S ALL FOR NOW…HAPPY WEDNESDAY EVERYBODY…

JAY DEAN

1.  i don’t know if anyone caught the “tv land awards show” the other night on tv land network, but it was really really good.  the cast of m*a*s*h was on there to collect an award and man oh man, are they looking old.  of course they would, though, because the show has been off the air for 25 years or more.  loretta swit looked the oldest of the group.

2.  also at the award show, “married with children” got the innovative award, or something like that.  when christina applegate was announced she got a rousing applause, most likely because of her double mastectomy and cancer survival.  christina was photographed lately smoking a cigarette, and really took a lot of heat for that.  media was saying that because she had cancer she shouldn’t be smoking.  the media forgets that they have vices, too.  he who lives in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones..or however that goes….

3.  one of my nieces is going to be moving to arizona permanently.  we’re really going to miss her…she’s a beautiful, super nice person.  this can only mean one thing…my wife will be spending a lot of time in phoenix….ha ha

4.  well, we’re coming up on a week of lasts for tyler and his parents.  next week is the “senior class play” and the “spring concert.”  the concert is going to kill me, because there’s a part in it where the chorus sings a mushy song, and the seniors take flowers to their parents. i never make it thru that part anyway,but having a son graduating is going to make it  a lot harder.

5.  my other son mitchell gets confirmed this sunday at st. john lutheran in warner.  we’re so proud of him.  confirmation is a big thing to me, and hopefully it is to him, as well.

6.  the nfl draft is history.  i think that my redskins did pretty well, considering i couldn’t beleive they didn’t trade up to get quarterback mark sanchez like they said they were going to do.  the vikings got a super good reciever in percy harvins.  hopefully he can leave his baggage and troubles behind in florida. 

7.  my redskins and their “spoiled rotten” owner have alienated our quarterback jason campbell.  i’m not completely sold that campbell is our quarterback of the future, but in the past three weeks the redskins have gone after jay cutler and now mark sanchez, while stating both times that campbell is our quarterback and will be.  jason campbell is, i’m sure, tired of the lies and deceiving, and says he’s going to have extra incentive to show everyone how good he is this season…excellent….

8.  twenty percent of americans are postponing health care treatment because of the economy.  the other eighty percent didn’t take the survey because they’re still in the waiting room.

9.  people who are traveling have been told to wear a surgical mask in heavily populated areas to cut their risk of airborne swine flu infections.  finally, we can slip a mask on that susan boyle lady without offending her.

10.  north carolina police are still looking for a pregnant woman who attempted to rob a bank.  why did she get away?  because no one in their right mind is going to approach an armed woman who is ready to go into labor.

11.  a swedish man was sentenced to four months in jail for trying to rob a liquor store by blowing his nose on the female clerk…he thought it was a good idea, but it’s snot…..(wow, that was  a groaner.)

12.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led
down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given them
last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer
had been said among the participants.
    The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, “Son, do you have a
last request?”
    To which the man replied, “Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you
please play the Macarena for me one last time?”
    “Certainly,” replied the warden.
    He turned to the other man and asked, “Well, what about you, son? What is
your final request?”
    “Please,” said the condemned man, “kill me first.”

HA HA..OOOH, THAT’S A GOOD ONE….HAVE A GREAT TUESDAY EVERYBODY….

JAY DEAN

 

IT’S GOOD TO BE BACK AFTER A FOUR DAY WEEKEND…JEANNIE AND I CELEBRATED OUR 22ND WEDDING ANNIVERSARY AND WENT OUT OF TOWN FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS…LOTS OF THINGS TO CATCH UP ON…HERE WE GO…

1.  i laughed my head off the other night….jeannie and i were watching tv and a show came on called “table for 12”, about a mom and dad and ten kids…..jeannie said, “i remember that show when it was called MY LIFE.”…..you see, jeannie’s number ten of ten kids, so she can appreciate what it’s like at a table like that….that woman cracks me up…that’s one reason i first asked her out was her sense of humor…

2.  having a couple of days off means that i usually stay up a little later at night when i don’t have to be up at 3:30am…….so, last wednesday night and thursday night i stayed up til midnight watching tv, and one of the shows i watched was “late night with jimmy fallon.”  fallon of course, is  a former saturday night live star….i’m sorry folks, but the show was painful to watch…i actually felt sorry for the guy, and i had to shut it off because of my uncomfortable feeling for him.  i’m sure he’ll get more relaxed and get better with time, but for right now, it’s not  a pretty picture.

3.  we went to sioux falls for a couple of days just to get away by ourselves…had a wonderful time…it was nice to reaquaint ourselves with each other…..it’s sad that the world is like that, when you are so buy that you have to reaquaint yourself with your spouse…but we had a tremendous time.

4.  one of the places we saw in sioux falls cracked me up…”the dress barn.”  there’s so many jokes that pop up in my head about a woman buying a dress at the “dress barn.”  but i have to keep them to myself to avoid a black eye or two.

5.  one of our favorite things to do when going to sioux falls or fargo is to find a couple of good restraunts and go  eat out…..this time we picked “johnny corino’s”, and “outback”, and were disappointed in both of them…..didn’t have very good food this time….we’ve never had a bad meal at “outback”, so that was particularly disappointing.

6.  i have an incredible new respect for singer and actress beyonce.  i’ve never been  a fan of hers, which doesn’t mean i don’t like her, i just didn’t know her music that much….but after watching the talk show circuit over the past few days, i got to see beyonce on every show promoting her new movie, “obsession.”  she is a very beautiful, very down to earth, very smiley, extremely considerate human being.  it is so fun to watch a mega star be totally polite and sincerely laugh at stuff instead of “acting”.  she’s so natural, and so naturally beautiful….

7.  speaking of “obsession”, my son mitchell saw it at carmike over the weekend and said it was “incredible.”  i can’t wait to see it….i think that movie has two of the biggest “hotties” out there in beyonce and ali larter……

8.  i have never ever ever wanted to watch the mickey rourke movie “the wrestler.”  he was nominated for an academy award for this picture and it is considered his “comeback” movie.  well, saturday night after getting home from sioux falls, we decided to sit and watch it and i was stunned…IT WAS VERY VERY GOOD….rourke did an oustanding job in the movie…..i also watched a show this weekend called “the top ten most botched plastic surgeries”, and mickey rourke was like at number three…..they did a horrible job on his plastic surgery…also on that show were joan rivers, lisa rinna, and of course, the man made completely of plastic now…KENNY ROGERS…i’m a big kenny fan, but i’m sorry, he looks horrible…….

9.  honda has offered employees a year’s salary to those who are willing to quit….getting paid by your employer to QUIT…wait until the new detroit lions quarterback hears this……

10.  “maude” and “golden girls” star bea arthur died this past weekend at the age of 86…we know for a fact that she’ll get into heaven…st. peter will be too terrified of her to tell her no….

11.  jay leno was released from the hospital over the weekend after having an undisclosed illness..the reason he had to leave?  hospital officials promised his room to conan o’brien….

12.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5.00 am.”
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed … it said… “It is 5.00am; wake up.”

or how about this one:

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A
few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a
gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, “You’re
really doing great, aren’t you?”

Morris replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc: ‘Get a hot mamma and
be cheerful.'”
The doctor said, “I didn’t say that. I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur. Be careful.'”

I LOVE THAT ONE….HAVE A GREAT MONDAY EVERYBODY…GOOD TO BE BACK…

JAY DEAN

 

I’M HAVING ALL KINDS OF COMPUTER PROBLEMS TODAY..CHECK BACK LATER TO SEE IF MY DAILY BLOG IS FINISHED…OTHERWISE, I’LL HAVE A NEW ONE MONDAY….

 

SEE YA

THIS WILL BE THE LAST BLOG UNTIL MONDAY…I’M TAKING A COUPLE OF DAYS OFF TO SLEEP IN AND GET SOME REST……

1.  CONGRATS to my sons tyler and mitchell…..they both set their own personal best in the shotput and discus yesterday at a meet in warner.  tyler actually won the shotput event.  i’m  a pretty proud dad today……

2.  one of the highlights of my life is having “friendly jabs” with dallas cowboy fans, and one of my favorite ones to tangle with was jerry rau of aberdeen.  loved the guy…i’m sad today to read in the paper that jerry died this week at the age of 58…i just talked to him the other day…..life is precious my friends…appreciate and live every moment…..i’ll salute jerry during both cowboys-redskins game this season, and i’ll miss his heckling phone calls……

3.  i had a BLAST at centsable fashions yesterday..i just love angella, kara and deanna…they are so much fun…this is probably the last time i will get to work with kara, as she is moving out of town…i’ll miss you girl…..

4. 

1.  i know i’m a pig, but i’m a typical man…i love the warmer weather because the shorts and hot shirts are coming out….it’s almost “sexy season.”  don’t be offended ladies…it’s better than being covered by ten layers of clothing during a freezing cold winter.

2.  i’ll be at centsable fashions in aberdeen today from 11-2 for the kickoff of their storewide 25 percent off sale…..come on out and visit with me, i’d love to see you….

3.  i’m already so sick of both political parties…how the hell can we fix this country’s problems when both parties are bickering like a bunch of spoiled rotten little children……come on washington…gently pull your heads out of your behinds and get to work to fix our problems…..it’s so sickening how they rip each other, but when someone has a health problem or death in their family they are all supportive of them…two faced bunch of babies…..

4.  i don’t know if it’s the weather or the medicine i’m taking for my chest cold, but i sleep all the time lately…i took a 15 minute nap at dinner yesterday, and then slept for two hours when i got home yesterday…plus i went to bed at 10 last night….maybe i’m morphing into rip van winkle…..

5.  if they were going to give our country an enema, they would lay the hose down the rows of congress.

6.  flooding woes continue to affect our area…at church in hecla sunday, i had parishoners who lived 3-5 miles out of hecla that had to drive well over 30 miles to get to church..hey, that’s dedication…

7.  president obama has ordered his cabinet to find ways to cut 100 million dollars in spending…i have heard that the first thing to go is the pant suit dry cleaning for hillary clinton.

8.  a los angeles based porn producer is offering frumpy, not so good looking 47 year old british sining sensation susan boyle, one million dollars to lose her virginity in a porn movie…..may i be amongst the first to say….ICK….this could be the video to cure porn addiction forever…

9.  a photographer says that madonna is wrong on her account of her fall from a horse.  the photographer says that no paparazzi scared the animal..sources do say however, that the horse became upset when madonna whispered in it’s ear that she wanted to adopt it.

10.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

FINALLY! THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES.
 

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports  car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was  also a blonde.
 
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license.
She dug through her purse and was getting  progressively more agitated.
‘What does it look like?’  she finally asked.  
The policewoman replied, ‘It’s square and it has your picture on it.’
 
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. ‘Here it is,’ she said.
 
The blonde officer looked at the  mirror, then handed it back saying, OK, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop.

THAT’S ALL FOR NOW…HAPPY TUESDAY EVERYBODY…

JAY DEAN