random thoughts for thursday june 25th, 2009

1.  i found out yesterday that faith hill is releasing her own perfume…….tim mcgraw already has his own cologne, which i own….hmmm…our dreams have come true…jeannie and i woke up one morning and said, “gee, wouldn’t it be nice if we could smell like faith hill and tim mcgraw today?”  SEE KIDS, DREAMS CAN COME TRUE…HA HA

2.  actress june lockhart is 84 today…she was timmy’s mom on “lassie”on television….i had the priveledge of meeting her backstage at the grand ole opry in nashville a few years back…she is a delightful woman…….

3.  jimmy walker of “good times” is 62 today….i have a horrible time thinking that the guy that brought is “DYNOMITE”, is about  the same age as my dad……

4.  if i ever vanish off the face of this earth i want you all to know how much i appreciated all of you…..i say this because yesterday i hit a couple of potholes that were obviously deep enough to be knocking on the doors to hell…….so, if i’m not here some morning, it means that i was swallowed up by a pothole,  and i am probably stuck in hell listening to old shows of “my morning party.”  (that would be hell for anyone.)

5.  okay, i have my new worst news guy….WOLF BLITZER AT CNN…every single story is an “earth shattering, life altering story.”  he makes every single story sound  like it’s the crash of the titanic.  and it’s almost dizzying and nauseating watching him go back and forth to reporters….i really can’t stand the guy….

6.  it amazes me how much we love to wallow in other people’s misery…..this south carolina governor’s debacle is now in full swing.  he apparently went to argentina to see a woman he’s having an affair with, came home, came clean, and admitted everything in front of the world.  his wife, as of now, is sticking with him.  i just wish that more of this crap could stay private at home.  we’ve become so interested in other people’s lives that we sometime forget about our own.  every one of us has skeletons in our closets…we just seem to forget that when we’re judging others.

7.  the academy awards are doubling the amount of “best picture” nominees from five to ten…DAMMIT….why couldn’t this have happened years ago, so that “porky’s,”  and “revenge of the nerds” could have won picture of the year?

8.  jessica simpson has a new fragrance that she claims is inspired by her  boyfriend, dallas cowboys quarterback tony romo….that must mean that the first half of the bottle smells great, and the last half isn’t worth a crap….(YEAH…GOT IN MY WEEKLY COWBOY SLAM…)

9.  major idiot and puke perez hilton is suing the black eyed pea’s manager for TWENTY FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS for punching him several times….hey, if that’s the going rate, put me down for FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS and let me at him…..

10.  after many complains, calvin klein has removed an “orgy” themed advertisement from a new york city billboard……if new yorkers want to see someone getting screwed, they’ll do it the old fashioned way, and just get in line to buy yankee’s tickets…..

11.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

One lovely morning, Ben and Thomas were out golfing. Ben slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.
    Ben searches diligently through the thick underbrush and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball.
    Ben excitedly calls out to his golfing partner: “Hey Thomas, come here, I got big trouble down here.”
    Thomas comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out: “What`s the matter Ben?”
    Ben shouts back in a nervous voice: “Throw me my 7-iron! Looks like you can`t get out of here with an 8-iron.”

THAT’S IT FOR TODAY…STAY COOL….

JAY DEAN

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