CHRISTMAS DAY IS ONE WEEK FROM TODAY!!!!!!!!
1. in our “today and yesterday” segment, we feature CAROLINE KENNEDY SCHLOSSBERG, who turned 52 just a few weeks back. we have a couple of beautiful pictures of CAROLINE with her famous family.
****DID YOU KNOW THAT NEIL DIAMOND WROTE “SWEET CAROLINE” FOR CAROLINE KENNEDY? it’s true…
here’s some photos of CAROLINE KENNEDY today….
2. well, football fans, your indianapolis colts are still undefeated…barely…last night the colts hung on to beat the jacksonville jaguars 35-31…..man, both of these undefeated teams, the colts and the saints, have to fight for every single point…THIS IS WHY I LOVE THE NFL, BABY….
3. this probably won’t mean much to the average football fan, but to us WASHINGTON REDSKINS FANS it’s huge….dan snyder’s right hand man, vinny cerrato resigned yesterday to make room for bruce allen to become the redskins first general manager in ten years. bruce allen is the son of legendary redskins coach george allen….there’s tons of excitement on this choice, because, first of all, we now have a g.m……secondly, he’s had success in oakland and tampa bay, and thirdly, he’ll probably bring mike shanahan or jon grudin with him to washington….watch out gang…THE REDSKINS ARE COMING BACK……..
4. three new movies at carmike, and i’m not planning on seeing any of them…..hugh grant and sarah jessica parker star in “did you hear about the morgans?”, plus the new 3-D event “avatar” is here, and “boondock saints 2″ is here….sorry, i never saw number one……”avatar” is just something i can’t get excited about…i guess i’ll just sneak into the theaters while i’m working to see how good it is……
5. it’s always a good day when the marriages outnumber the divorces in the newspaper…..
6. this is starting to really pee me off……i have had three instances in the past month where someone has gone flying thru a stop sign and just about hit me…..all three events were gentlemen driving vehicles for “colonized” people of this area. do they not take driving courses out there?
7. president obama sent a letter to north korean leader kim jong il, asking him to revive nuclear disarmament talks…i’m sorry i have to say this….wouldn’t this be a “dear jong” letter?
8. the house approved a law that requires stations to lower the volume on tv commercials….man, it’s a shame that billy mays wasn’t here to see this…..
9. IN OUR “SHUT THE HELL UP” CATEGORY TODAY…..filmmaker and loud mouth michael moore is DEMANDING that connecticut voters recall joe lieberman or he’ll organize an boycott of the state…..ummm….except for the restaurants, obviously……
10. california governor arnold schwarzenegger’s approval rating has hit an all time low….he’s so unpopular right now, that even his wife maria shriver won’t text him or call him while she’s driving anymore.
11. a new survey puts LOUISIANA as the number one happiest state…happiness was measured by people’s well being, satisfaction with their lives, and the fact that neither jon or kate live there….
12. time magazine has named federal reserve chairman bernard bernanke as it’s “person of the year.” big deal…how many hot babes has HE slept with? ha ha
13. JOKE OF THE DAY….(THIS IS A VERY FUNNY ONE)
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.
The letter read:
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars.
By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.
HA HA HA
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND..