a HUGE thank you to CARA ROMEO and the staff at the ALEXANDER MITCHELL PUBLIC LIBRARY for coming up with titles for my upcoming (yeah right) autobiography. first of all, here are the library’s top list.

TOP FIVE JAY DEAN TITLES FOR AUTOBIOGRAPHY:                         (from staff at alexander mitchell public library)

5.  jay dean…the man behind the restraining order.

4.  the confessions of a serial d.j.

3.  going stereo:  an american dj’s life.

2.  the life and times of a langford lion.

AND THE NUMBER ONE JAY DEAN TITLE:

1.  ARE YOU THERE HANK?  IT’S ME, JAY!

 

and now, here are the ones that i came up with:

TOP FIVE TITLES FOR JAY DEAN’S AUTOBIOGRAPHY:                 (from jay dean himself)

5.  the jay dean story….i was born a poor white child.

4.  i broke marty stuart’s glasses and other memories from nashville and beyond.

3.  life wasn’t always sunny…memories of jay dean

2.  olivia’s worst nightmare:  the jay dean story

AND THE NUMBER ONE TITLE ACCORDING TO JAY DEAN:

1.  THE JAY DEAN STORY:  FROM DORK TO D.J.

 

hey, that was fun…thanks to the staff at the library for having fun with me…

here are the top 9 signs you’re in a bad nursing home…

9.  two words:  community bedpans.

8.  rectal thermometers are made of WOOD…

7.  you can’t ring a nurse, but you can page the attorney’s office down the hall.

6.  radio stations alternate between glenn miller and broadcasting “last rites” in every language known to man.

5.  no furniture in it, besides beds and lots and lots of caskets….

4.  it’s name:  matlock manor.

3.  defibrilator doubles as a remote control.

2.  cheap tv antenna can’t pick up xena: warrior princess.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU’RE IN A BAD NURSING HOME….

1.  THE NURSING HOME’S NAME?  HEAVENS WAITING ROOM!

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1.  in our “today and yesterday” segment, we feature a couple of birthday kids today….kids?  well, maybe not kids….ha ha….first of all, the mom on the”PARTRIDGE FAMILY” is 76 today and still looking good.  actress SHIRLEY JONES is featured first.  here’s a couple of older pictures of her, including a cast photo from the show.

and here’s SHIRLEY JONES today at 76…..

also, GABE KAPLAN who played “KOTTER” on “WELCOME BACK KOTTER” is 65 today…here’s a picture of GABE back on the show…

as you probably know, this show is where JOHN TRAVOLTA got his start!!!  anyway, here are two pictures of GABE KAPLAN today at 65….he’s at a speaking engagement in the first one, and he’s a professional poker player, so here’s a shot of him playing cards.

and just for kicks and giggles, here’s a photo of JOHN TRAVOLTA as “VINNY BARBARINO” on “WELCOME BACK KOTTER.”

2.  YOUR THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

“if swimming is as good as they say for you, then why do whales look like they do?”

3.  YOUR CLASSIC TV COMMERCIAL FOR TODAY:

remember the “CRACKER JACKS” commercial starring tv and commercial star “JACK GILFORD”?  here it is…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjTFYhoku_E

4.  i don’t know why, but i was thinking the other day about the 70’s cartoon, “THE GROOVY GHOULIES.”  do you remember them?  i beleive they were part of the “SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH” show on saturday mornings.  see if you can remember these guys….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmelTlEzI34

here’s a short five minute part of the show….it’s called “LITTLE RED RIDING WOLF.”  i completely remember watching this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hYR56_gQFY

5.  i have never seen a movie evoke emotions like “THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST.”  as i mentioned before, we watched it last night at our church in hecla, and i’m watching it again tonight with my confirmation class at hecla.  (pizza, pop, and a movie….classic night.)  anyway, i totally recommend everybody out there to watch the movie to get the true meaning of easter, and to see what JESUS went thru for us….it’s hard to watch during the “beating and crucifiction” scenes, but i’m sure back then it was very hard to watch.

6.  JAY’S RANT FOR TODAY…(which apparently do no good.) 

okay….for the 23rd time in the last year, THE LEFT LANE OF A FOUR LANE IS FOR PASSING, AND NOT FOR DRIVING 50 MILES AND HOUR IN A 70 MPH ZONE….c’mon people…if  you’re going to drive like you’re in a funeral procession, move over.  yesterday on the highway going to groton, i was “pinned in” between a slow car in the right lane, and a slow car in the left lane…..this is something that drives me ABSOLUTELY CRAZY…thank goodness i had my polka cd’s on, so i was mostly relaxed….

7.  SINGER RICKY MARTIN IS GAY?  who cares….i’m so doggone tired of people “coming out.”  i don’t care about your sexual lives….i don’t care about your personal lives…i just like your music….maybe i should come out on the radio and say, “I’M STRAIGHT AND I LOVE WOMEN…”  who really gives a crap…keep it to yourself……if that lifestyle is your preference, so be it….i don’t know why this has to be a “media” event all the time….

8.  according to a new study, SMALL DOSES OF CHOCOLATE EVERY DAY could decrease your risk of having a heart attack or a stroke by nearly 40 PERCENT…wonderful….now when i have a heart attack, right before they grab the paddles, they’ll cram a NESTLE’S CRUNCH BAR down my throat….

9.  FOX has cancelled “24” after EIGHT SEASONS…so, basically, it’s where a single day lasted EIGHT YEARS….it’s kind of like thanksgiving with the in-laws….

10.  scientists on tuesday at a “supercollider” in switzerland, attempted to recreate the big bang, that some say led to the creation of the universe….this could make a black hole that would gobble up everything…..which reminds me….i have to get my taxes done yet…..

11.  a man fleeing police ended up jumping a fence, THAT LANDED HIM IN A PRISON YARD…officers say that the man is “armed and stupid.”

12.  the author of the “twilight series” has announced that she has a new book coming out about a ‘newborn vampire.’  the gorriest part of the book will be the breastfeeding…..

13.  JOKE OF THE DAY:  ( I LOVE THIS ONE)

An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York City building when a young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, “Romance by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!”
     Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, “Chanel No. 5, $200 an ounce!”
     About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, then lifts her leg and passes gas and says, “BROCCOLI….49 CENTS A POUND.”

HA HA HA HA…..

HEY, HAVE A GREAT WEDNESDAY EVERYBODY…

JAY DEAN


 

actor JOHN ASTIN is 80 years old today…wow…he’s best known for playing GOMEZ ADDAMS on “THE ADDAMS FAMILY.”

here is JOHN ASTIN as GOMEZ and what he looks like today at 80…i would imagine that’s his wife with him, unless he’s “playing the field” like TIGER WOODS…doubtful…but funny…

legendary tv game show host PETER MARSHALL of “HOLLYWOOD SQUARES”, turns 84 today…can’t beleive that…here’s a picture of PETER MARSHALL back in his younger days…

and here’s PETER MARSHALL today at age 84…the second picture is with ROSE MARIE, a regular on the show, and game show host TOM KENNEDY….

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PETER….

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1.  “QUE SERA SERA…WHATEVER WILL BE, WILL BE…THE FUTURE’S NOT OUR’S TO SEE…QUE SERA SERA…”  and with those words, the legendary DORIS DAY would kick off her tv show, and it became the biggest song of her career.  DORIS DAY has become a recluse in the past few years, and is now 87 years old!!! here’s a couple of older pictures of the lovely DORIS DAY…..

here’s one with JIMMY STEWART, in the movie” THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH.”

and here’s one of the RARE pictures of DORIS DAY today!!!!

and here’s the opening credits of her hit tv show “THE DORIS DAY SHOW.”  you’ll definetly remember this…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MLmZS8iDyg

2.  YOUR THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

“why do they sterilize the needles for a lethal injection?”

3.  “FROM THE LAND OF SKY BLUE WATERS”….remember the old “HAMM’S BEER” commercials featuring the HAMM’S BEAR?  well, i found a commercial or two of this 60’s and 70’s hit…check them out….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o83xxWCel8g

or check out this one from the 70’s…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oq6wYSo9uPM

4.  well, it should be an exciting night at our church in hecla tonight.  this evening we’re going to “break in” our 50 some inch big screen tv that was donated by a family.  we’re going to be watching “THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST.”  that’s the MEL GIBSON movie from a few years back.  i’ll tell you this, nothing gets you in the mood for easter week, like this movie.  it’s an awesome movie and really depicts the happenings of JESUS’ life thru the crucifixion and resurrection.  highly recommended…

5.  last night, i got off early at carmike because we were kind of slow, and i drove into the yard as my family was wrapping up raking the yard…DARN IT ANYWAY…and i SO, wanted to help out…..(p.s.  there was heavy sarcasm in the last sentence, in case you couldn’t tell…i HATE RAKING…)

6.  my brother TREVOR is staying with us this week, and he’s very musically inclined…..last night, TREVOR AND I were in our garage playing piano and singing…he’s extremely talented at picking up songs on the piano…we sang chicago’s “hard to say i’m sorry”,  night ranger’s “sister christian”, and others…it was extremely fun and i can’t wait to do it again…

7.  TIME TO GET THE BEAN BAG GAME OUT….we have the “homemade version” of the bean bag game called “cornhole” apparently.  JEANNIE AND I love to play the game, and it gets very competitive….when JEANNIE AND I play anything, nobody likes to lose….we have tons of fun picking on each other….

8.  IS IT NFL FOOTBALL SEASON YET?  SHEESH…(thank GOD for the NFL NETWORK…JEANNIE cannot beleive that i would sit and watch a re-run of a game from this past season when i already know the results…..well, it helps in the withdrawals…)

9.  scientists report that people with relaxed minds tend to have better memories….automakers must REALLY be relaxed…they “RECALL ” a lot….

10.  a chesterfield, south carolina woman, was charged with having a pole in her trailer home, and putting on strip shows for customers as young as TWELVE YEARS OLD…man, did i have a boring life at that age…all i did was play “ROCK EM’ SOCK EM’ ROBOTS” and watch ‘CAPTAIN 11’….(where the heck were these girls when i was growing up and curious?)

11.  several players entering the NFL DRAFT, have a history of marijuana use….and they all want to play in detroit, after finding out that the lions take a lot of hits…..

12.  JOKE OF THE DAY:  (FUNNY EASTER JOKE)

Three blondes (natural) died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter was.

The first blonde said, “Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey.”

St. Peter said, “Noooooo,” and he banished her to hell.

The second blonde said, “Easter is when we celebrate Jesus’ birth and exchange gifts.” St. Peter said, “Noooooo,” and he banished her to hell.

The third blonde said, she knew what Easter is, and St. Peter said, “So, tell me.”

She said, “Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder …

St. Peter said, “Verrrrrry good.”

Then the blonde continued, “Now every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of winter!!!

St. Peter fainted.

HAVE A GREAT TUESDAY EVERYBODY…

JAY DEAN


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1.  well, one of the things i did yesterday was watch part of the movie “SIXTEEN CANDLES” from the 80’s.  it’s another movie from the late JOHN HUGHES.  some pretty good stars in the movie, so i thought we’d catch up on a few of them and see what they look like today.

first of all, the very beautiful MOLLY RINGWALD.  here’s a picture from the movie, and what she looks like today.

here’s the hilarious ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL, who plays the nerdy kid from school.  here’s a picture from the movie, and one from today.  you may recognize him from a whole bunch of tv appearances lately.

GEDDE WATANABE played the crazy “LONG DUCK DONG” in the movie. he was an exchange student staying with MOLLY’S grandparents….SUPER FUNNY ROLE…here he is on the show and today…

here’s MICHAEL SCHOEFFLING who played the desirable JAKE RYAN in the movie.  the picture from today is from a movie he did back in 1991.  he apparently hasn’t acted much since.

actor JOHN CUSACK appeared in the movie as another one of the nerds….here’s a picture from the movie. JOHN is the second one from the left.  there’s also a picture of him from today. right now he stars in the movie ‘HOT TUB TIME MACHINE.’

JUSTIN HENRY played the obnoxious, but funny brother in the movie. he also starred as the kid in “KRAMER VS. KRAMER with DUSTIN HOFFMAN AND MERYL STREEP…here he is back on the day, and today.

and HAVILAND MORRIS played the snotty prom queen in the movie that ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL eventually scores with.  she looks a lot different today than in the movie.

2.  YOUR THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

“why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth CLOSED?  and why is it that doctors call what they do “PRACTICE?”

3.  YOUR CLASSIC COMMERCIAL FOR TODAY:

i PROMISE YOU that you will remember this “keep america clean” commercial from the 70’s.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_R-FZsysQNw

4.  i got my heart broken yesterday.  my TENNESSEE VOLUNTEERS lost by one stupid point to the MICHIGAN STATE SPARTANS in the NCAA basketball tournament.  the vols would have advanced to thier very first “FINAL FOUR” appearance ever.  but it wasn’t meant to be.  kind of bummed me out.

5.  speaking of that game, the announcer BILL RAFFERTY is completely ANNOYING….he needs to stop trying to be 23, instead of however the heck old he is.  i can’t stand when he changes his voice to sound like some hotshot young play by play announcer.  VERNE LUNDQUIST isn’t bad, but RAFFERTY drives me crazy.

6.  yesterday, JEANNIE AND I went to see the JOHN CUSACK movie “HOT TUB TIME MACHINE”, which by the way, i called “DAKOTA HOT TUB TIME MACHINE” to a person friday night by mistake.  well, here’s what we thought. IT WAS OK…..we wouldn’t watch it again, or rent it, or buy it.  it just kind of left us “empty” when it was done.  we laughed at a few lines, but this movie could have been so so so much better.

7.  JEANNIE AND I went walking last night around WARNER for the first time this spring.  it felt so good yesterday. can’t wait for the low 70’s they are talking about for tuesday.

8.  I GOT THE HELL SCARED OUT OF ME THIS MORNING ABOUT 4:25….i was walking up to the door of the station, and i didn’t see this GIANT MUSKRAT sitting on the steps of the station.  then he moved, i screamed, and he ran away…..not the way i wanted to start the morning out.

9.  hookers marched thru the streets of PARIS last thursday to protest a plan to make them join government regulated brothels.  it was the biggest gathering of hookers on the streets of PARIS since the previous saturday night.

10.  the OCTOMOM was paid FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS by PETA to put a sign in her yard urging people to “spay and neuter” their pets….speaking of things that need to be spayed………..

11.  JOHN MCCAIN AND SARAH PALIN campaigned together this past friday for the first time since 2008.  sounds like someone took a dip in the “HOT TUB TIME MACHINE.”

12.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the baby’s father. He asked if they were willing to try it out.
     They were both very much in favor of it.
     The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer.
     The husband was still feeling fine.
     The doctor checked the husband’s blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point, they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well.
Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
     The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
     When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.

HEY, HAVE A GREAT MONDAY MY FRIENDS…

JAY DEAN