CAN’T WAIT FOR FOOTBALL…..

your daily blog is brought to you by the wonderful folks at DAKOTA HOT TUBS AND DISCOUNT VAC, BOTH IN ABERDEEN.

1.  GOLLY!  it’s JIM NABORS, who played GOMER PYLE on tv….he also was on the ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW…..JIM NABORS is an actor, and an accomplished singer….i’ll never forget the first time i heard him sing…i thought to myself, “HOW CAN THAT VOICE COME OUT OF THAT BODY?”  here are some pictures of JIM NABORS years ago……

and here is JIM NABORS today at the age of 80….WOW…i wouldn’t have guessed that!!!!!

2.  YOUR CLASSIC COMMERCIAL FOR TODAY….

it’s COUNT CHOCULA AND FRANKENBERRY….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1S_J0TTMf8

3.  YOUR CLASSIC ALBUM COVER FOR TODAY….

“i’ve been thru diamonds…i’ve been thru minks…i’ve been thru it all…….LOVE STINKS…”

remember that song?  it was the J. GEILS BAND from their early 80’s album “LOVE STINKS.”

this album featured such songs as the title song “LOVE STINKS”, plus “COME BACK”, and the novely record “NO ANCHOVIES PLEASE.”

here’s the video for the title song…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GluCM_ggMvw

4.  LARRY KING is stepping down this fall after 25 years of hosting “LARRY KING LIVE” on CNN…..he plans on spending more time with his wife’s sister…I MEAN HIS WIFE….

5.  my allergies have been kicking my butt this week…i’ve been exhausted…i slept three hours yesterday afternoon, and went to bed last night around 9 and got up this morning at 3:30am….i think my body was at it’s breaking point, and just needed a collapse for a day…..

6.  if i EVER hit a home run over the fence in softball, i’m walking off the field and never playing again….in other words, i’ll be playing softball until i die….

7.  SENATOR ROBERT BYRD was 92 when he died this week….i think they could leave him at his desk for years, and nobody will notice….look how it works for LARRY KING….

8.  a teenage girl in ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA was caught stealing 44 pairs of panties from KMART and when asked why she did it she said, “DO YOU EXPECT ME TO WEAR DIRTY UNDERWEAR?”  wow…wouldn’t it have been a bit easier to steal a box of TIDE?

9.  JESSICA SIMPSON is on a vegan diet…she says, “ALL I’M GOING TO EAT ARE VEGANS.”

10.  WILLIE NELSON says that he cut his famous long hair because it was getting too hard to manage…plus a family of possums had moved in….

11.  JON GOSSELIN just got a giant “dragon tatoo” on his back..he says it’s no different than having KATE all over his back recently…

12.  SANDRA BULLOCK AND JESSE JAMES were officially divorced this week…a messy situation resolved very very quickly….or as BRITISH PETROLEUM calls it, “PLAN ‘B'”….

13.  the new “TWILIGHT” movie starts tonight….TAYLOR LAUTNER spends most of the movie with his shirt off…which means one thing…apparently his acting coach was MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY…..

14.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

Three drunk guys are sitting behind a couple of nuns at a football game (whose habits partially blocked the view).
    In an effort to get the nuns to move, the men decided to badger them.
    In a very loud voice, the first guy said, “I think I’m going to move to Utah, I heard there are only 100 nuns living there.”
    The Second Guy spoke up and said, “I want to go to Montana, there are only 50 nuns there.”
    The Third Guy said, “Well, I want to go to Idaho, they say there are only 25 Nuns living there.”
    At that, one of the nuns turned around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet, calm voice said, “Why don’t you all go to hell. You won’t find any nuns there.”

HAVE A GREAT WEDNESDAY, MY FRIENDS…

JAY DEAN

 

I HAVE NOW WRITTEN OVER 700 BLOGS…..WE’RE INCHING CLOSER TO 1,000…THANKS FOR READING IT…YOU MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE….

today’s daily blog is brought to you by DISCOUNT VAC AND DAKOTA HOT TUBS IN ABERDEEN….

1.  THE LISTENERS ASK, AND I PROVIDE……one of our great listeners in the area asked if i would do a “today and yesterday” featuring STEVE URKEL….you got it…..

the hit tv show ‘FAMILY MATTERS’, was a very funny show that featured actor JALEEL WHITE as the nerdy JAY DEAN…ummm..i mean, STEVE URKEL…..also, KELLIE SHANYGNE WILLIAMS played his love interest “LAURA”…..the girl that STEVE just couldn’t get…..here’s a couple of pictures of these two back when the show was hot…

and here they are today….KELLIE is super hot, and JALEEL makes the girls heart flutter…believe it or not…..KELLIE is now 34 years old, and JALEEL is now 33 years old…..here they are together, today….

LONG LIVE URKEL!!!!

2.  THOUGHT FOR THE DAY….

“if the doctor always says to take “two aspirins”, then why don’t we just double the size of aspirins?”

3.  VIDEO FOR TODAY…

did you see DETROIT TIGER’S pitcher JOEL ZUMAYA go down last night?  he appeared to completely ruin his arm during the TWINS AND TIGERS game last night…check out the video…

http://mlb.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?content_id=9468883

4.  YOUR CLASSIC ALBUM COVER FOR TODAY…

GERRY RAFFERTY delivered a home run album back in 1978 called “CITY TO CITY.”

this album featured the classic songs “BAKER STREET” and “RIGHT DOWN THE LINE.”

remember “BAKER STREET”?  here’s the MTV video from the song…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkS169P_Eeo

if you think that GERRY RAFFERTY’S voice sounds familiar, you are correct….remember “STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU?” by STEALERS WHEEL?  GERRY was the lead singer in that band…listen up…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpWzbZGk3eA

5.  SAY IT AIN’T SO STEVE…..sad news for all of us that love NBC’S “THE OFFICE”….STEVE CARELL says that he is leaving the show after next season….STEVE CARELL said in an interview with US MAGAZINE, that he will “resign” from the show after next year to honor the contract that he had…..i HATE IT when actors pull stunts to get more money, and i don’t think that STEVE CARELL is that kind of actor….HOWEVER, i hope it’s the case in this deal…

6.  well, our ST. JOHN’S LUTHERAN softball team got our first win of the season last night…(FINALLY..HA HA)…we beat the other HECLA  team in the league…..a young lady named ASHLEY WAMPLER made a dynamic catch in right field to secure the win….impressive for a 17 year old…..heck, impressive for any age….i played my first full game of the season, got on base every time, and feel GREAT today…it’s amazing what a little workout can do for a fat old guy…

7.  i forgot to mention yesterday that JEANNIE AND I went to see the new movie “GROWNUPS” starring ADAM SANDLER, DAVID SPADE, CHRIS ROCK, KEVIN JAMES, AND ROB SCHNEIDER…here’s our review of it….ummm…..it was….okay….it had some moments where we cracked up big time, like the four year old boy who was still breast feeding…(gross, but funny)….but a lot of the movie was predictable, and i still think that ROB SCHNEIDER is one of the most unfunny guys out there….just one man’s opinion……

8.  the longest sitting senator in the UNITED STATES has died…SENATOR ROBERT BYRD of WEST VIRGINIA, died yesterday at the tender age of 92….political pundits say that this could kill his re-election plans…..

9.  two former porn actresses are suing their healthcare provider for releasing some of their medical information which they say is a “violation of their privacy.”  okay….here’s the deal…last week they were on the internet BUTT NAKED doing NASTY THINGS…and NOW THEY’RE WORRIED ABOUT PRIVACY?

10.  BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN’S hometown of ASBURY PARK, NEW JERSEY is considering letting women go TOPLESS on the beaches….i guess BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN will have to change his song “BORN TO RUN”  to “BORN TO DROOP.”

11.  a set of MARILYN MONROE’S chest x-rays were sold for $45,000 dollars…..why so much?  because it’s one of the rare closeups that we have of JOHN F. KENNEDY’S hands…..

12.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, the young farm boy decided to play a prank. He went to the chicken coop and replaced every single egg with a brightly colored one.

A few minutes later the rooster walked in saw all the colored eggs, then stormed outside and killed the peacock.

HAVE A GREAT TUESDAY EVERYBODY…

JAY DEAN

HAPPY MONDAY MY FRIENDS….FROM JAY AND OLIVIA…

your daily blog is sponsored by DISCOUNT VAC AND DAKOTA HOT TUBS BOTH OF ABERDEEN….wait until you see the coolest trailer you’ve ever seen at DAKOTA HOT TUBS….it doubles as a trailer and a utility cabinet for your garage…yeah, no kidding…check it out today.

1.  happy birthday wishes today going out to the great writer, comedian, and movie director MEL BROOKS….MEL turns 84 years old today….MEL BROOKS is known for such classics as the great comedy bit with CARL REINER called “THE 2,000 YEAR OLD MAN”, plus fantastic movies like “YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN”, “SPACEBALLS”, “BLAZING SADDLES”, THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD PART ONE”, and many more….here is MEL BROOKS from years ago.  the first one is with his now deceased wife, actress ANNE BANCROFT…..

and here is MEL BROOKS today on his 84th birthday….

2. how about a couple of classic MEL BROOKS moments from his films…..

here is the awesome moment from “YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN” where MARTY FELDMAN tells GENE WILDER whose brain they put in the monster….also appearing is a young, hot, TERRI GARR….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQ_pKqiB5Rg

I LOVE THIS CLIP…here’s GENE WILDER as DR. FRANKENSTEIN and PETER BOYLE as “THE MONSTER”, doing thier famous skit of “PUTTING ON THE RITZ.”…PETER BOYLE, by the way, played RAY ROMANO’S dad in the hit tv show “EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VH2nQHPs4aA

here is the “fight scene” from “SPACEBALLS” the movie featuring RICK MORANIS as “DARK HELMET” and BILL PULLMAN as “LONESTAR”….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THt6zThZEiM

3.  CLASSIC LINE FROM THIS WEEKEND….

saturday i did the funeral for a beautiful 95 year old woman up in HECLA, and her family thought that the following words best described thier mom….it’s words for all of us to live by….

“WE SHOULD NOT ARRIVE AT DEATH’S DOOR ALL PRIM AND PROPER IN A PRETTY AND WELL-PRESERVED BODY.  INSTEAD WE OUGHT TO ARRIVE BREATHLESSLY, SKIDDING BROADSIDE THROUGH THE PEARLY GATES, THOROUGHLY USED UP, TOTALLY WORN OUT AND LOUDLY PROCLAIMING…”WOW…WHAT A RIDE.”

4.  two other classic quotes from the weekend…

from a customer at the movies at the concession stand:

“I WANT BUTTER ON MY POPCORN, AND LOTS OF IT…MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A PELICAN DOWN IN THE BP SPILL IN THE GULF.”

this was from a good friend of mine, a farmer in the HECLA area……(talking about the weather, and making a joke about the rain soaked area….)

WELL, WE’RE OFFICIALLY HAVING A DROUGHT IN THE HECLA AREA….WE’VE ONLY HAD A QUARTER INCH OF RAIN THIS WEEK.”

(he spoke too soon…HECLA got almost an inch late saturday night…)

5.  well, i got cocky last night….i have only beaten  JEANNIE once in the basketball game, “HORSE”…..last night she grabbed the basketball and missed a few shots, so i thought, hey, maybe today’s my day to beat her….SHE PLAYED ME LIKE A FIDDLE…she cleaned my clock H-O-R-S-E- to nothing…..JEANNIE was a star basketball player for the ROSLYN VIKINGS, and made all lake region conference like every year since her 8th grade..she was incredible to watch…and cute too, i might add….

6.  it’s NIGHTMARE WEEK AT CARKMIKE…another “TWILIGHT” movie comes out this week…..we always have MASSIVE CROWDS during the first week of this movie…and wouldn’t you know, it’s the FOURTH OF JULY weekend this weekend…..stupid vampires and werewolves…ha ha

7.   a CALIFORNIA school was on “lock down” after a brawl interrupted a kindergarten graduation…two people were arrested and 27 were put in “time out.”

8.  fictional books written for gay teenagers are becoming more popular….coming soon? “THE HARDY BOYS DOUBLE DATE HARRY POTTER AND RON WEASLEY.”

9.  the SY FY network will be airing an original movie that will pit former 80’s teen queens DEBBIE GIBSON and TIFFANY against each other in battle…what the heck for?  WHICH ONE HAS AGED THE WORST?

you be the judge….

here’s DEBBIE GIBSON…oh, i’m sorry, she’s now DEBORAH GIBSON…

and here’s 80’S pop star TIFFANY today…

and here they are together back in the 80’s…

10.  billboard magazine reports that MICHAEL JACKSON has sold 35 million albums worldwide since he died..YOU HEAR THAT MICHAEL BOLTON?

11.  the AMERICANS are out of the WORLD CUP SOCCER TOURNAMENT after being elminated by GHANA for the second time…GHANA took us out twice?  HMM…i have this funny  feeling i know which country we are going to invade next…

12.  rocker GREGG ALLMAN underwent a succesful liver transplant….I HOPE TO HELL THEY WENT OUT OF THE MUSIC BUSINESS TO FIND ONE…

13.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

One night, Tim was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Tim and the thief began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground and Tim put up a tremendous fight. However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned him to the ground. The thief then went through Tim’s pockets and searched him. All the thief could find on Tim was 25 cents.
    The thief was so surprised at this that he asked Tim why he had bothered to fight so hard for a 25 cents.
    “Was that all you wanted?” Tim replied, “I thought you were after the five hundred dollars I’ve got in my shoe!”

HAVE A GREAT MONDAY EVERYBODY…

JAY DEAN

BRING ON THE WEEKEND, BABY….

your daily blog is sponsored by DISCOUNT VAC AND DAKOTA HOT TUBS IN ABERDEEN….you simply MUST stop by DAKOTA HOT TUBS today, and see the coolest trailer i’ve ever seen..it’s only 500 pounds, and converts into a shelving unit for your garage or work area…..stop by 110 south jackson today and check it out…

1.  guess who’s having a birthday today?  TIMMY’S MOM FROM “LASSIE.”  actress JUNE LOCKHART is 85 today…believe it or not, i’ve met JUNE…i was at the GRAND OLE OPRY IN NASHVILLE on night a few years back, and i had total backstage liberties….so, i saw JUNE LOCKART, and couldn’t remember her name, so i walked up to her and said, “pardon me for intruding, but i recognize you and cannot think of your name.”  she said, “I’M TIMMY’S MOM FROM “LASSIE”…JUNE LOCKHART.”  she was the most pleasant woman i have ever met…gentle, kind, and very generous….JUNE not only starred on “LASSIE”, but also on “LOST IN SPACE.”  here are a couple of older pictures…

and here is JUNE LOCKHART today on her 85th birthday…LOOKIN’ DARN GOOD, TOO…

2.  DYNOMITE….of course, that 70’s catch phrase that everyone knew, was developed by JIMMY “JJ” WALKER on the hit tv show, “GOOD TIMES”….JIMMY has a birthday today, he’s turning 63….here’s a couple of pictures of JIMMY WALKER back in his heyday…

and here he is today at the age of 63….

3.  if you have the time, here’s a five minute episode of “GOOD TIMES”….notice a 13 year old JANET JACKSON…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlrrebnJfk8

4.  i work at CARMIKE tonight and saturday for the first time in JUNE…yep, we’ve been very busy, but i’m looking forward to getting back to work at the theater…..i can’t decide if i want to see both of the new movies at CARMIKE…first of all, ADAM SANDLER, DAVID SPADE, KEVIN JAMES, CHRIS ROCK, AND ROB SCHNEIDER star in “GROWNUPS.”  ROB SCHNEIDER drives me crazy in his movies….the other new movie is “KNIGHT AND DAY”, starring TOM CRUISE AND CAMERON DIAZ….it’s getting HAMMERED by the critics….we’ll have to see.

5.  MAJOR HEARTBREAK…i was thinking the other day about when we lived in CAMPBELL, MINNESOTA…we were there for my freshman year only…one time we were getting ready for a winter dance, and there was a girl in our class that told EVERYONE that she wanted me to ask her to the dance….EVERYBODY came and talked to me saying “ASK HER…SHE SAID SHE WANTS TO GO WITH YOU.”  so, i mustered the guts to do it, walked up to her in front of the whole class, and said, “SO, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO THE DANCE WITH ME?”  and she looked at me and said….”NO.”  i could have died, and the whole class sat there with their mouths open….and so began a lifetime of being a nerd and having women shoot me down left and right…..well, not all the time…that’s why i’m so shocked that i nabbed such a beautiful, warm, kind, fantastic woman like JEANNIE…guys like me just don’t get girls like her…..

6.  i’ve decided that we’re going to move from WARNER…we’re going to be moving to SWEET LIPS, TENNESSEE….ha ha…on my morning show, we found of list of crazy real towns in the UNITED STATES…here are a couple of them…

BORING, OREGON

WHY, ARIZONA, AND WHY NOT, MISSISSIPPI

LONELYVILLE, NEW YORK…(WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU LIVE THERE?)

CRANKY CORNER, LOUISIANA

OATMEAL, TEXAS

LICK SKILLET, TENNESSEE…(TENNESSEE HAS THE BEST AND KOOKIEST NAMES EVER)

and my favorite place to live…how can you go wrong with HAPPYLAND, OKLAHOMA…

7.  A FEW MORE “HORRIBLE” ALBUM COVERS….AND YES, THESE ARE REAL…

“NOTICE THE HAIRY LEGS…YUCK)

 

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE FOR TODAY….(ISN’T THAT ‘GOATBOY’ FROM SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE?)

8.  a FLORIDA man was run over by his own truck after HIS DOG put it into gear….cops say that it was an accident but i’m not so sure….bystanders heard the dog mumbling something about a “GAUDY LOOKING CHRISTMAS SWEATER HE WAS FORCED TO WEAR.”

9.  a MALAYSIAN woman was arrested for trying to smuggle a large quantity of heroin in her BRA after police noticed her “abnormal breast size.”  what a dumb woman….doesn’t she know that that particular region is where men look first?

10.  LATOYA JACKSON had an emotional reunion with MICHAEL JACKSON’S old chimp BUBBLES on an “ANIMAL PLANET’ special that aired last week…..there was screeching, poop throwing and jumping up and down like a maniac….oh yeah, and the monkey was excited, too…

11.  OZZY OSBORNE said that with all the drugs he’s taken over the last 40 years, he’s lucky to be alive…his doctors call him “SMUCKERS”, because of all the preservatives he has in him.

12.  SANDRA BULLOCK showed up at a recent flood relief charity event in NASHVILLE, and played a song on an acoustic guitar…here new record called “ALL MY EXES ARE GIGANTIC CHEATIN’ SCUM BAGS”, will hit stores next week.

13.  history’s longest tennis match ever finally ended at WIMBLEDON after three days when AMERICAN JOHN ISNER defeated FRENCHMAN NICOLAS MAHUT….everyone knew if it went long enough that the FRENCHMAN would eventually surrender…

14.  JOKES OF THE DAY:

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
    The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
    “Please allow me to help. I’m a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me,” she told him.
“Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,” the man replied.
    He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
    She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, “How does that feel?”
He replied, “It feels great, but I still think my thumb’s broken.”

OKAY, HOW ‘BOUT THIS ONE …….

     There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money and was a real miser. He loved money more than just about anything.
     Just before he died, he said to his wife, “Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.”
     He made her promise with all her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.
     When he did die, she sat at the ceremony next to her friend. After the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, “Wait just a minute!” She brought a box over and put it in the casket.
     Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. Her friend said, “I hope you weren’t fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband!”
     She said, “Listen, I’m a Christian. I can’t go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.”
     “You mean to tell me you really put that money in the casket with him!!!!?”
     “I sure did,” said the wife. “I wrote him a check.”

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND..

JAY DEAN

TIM MCGRAW COULD BE THE LUCKIEST MAN ALIVE….

here is TIM MCGRAW sandwiched in between FAITH HILL and SANDRA BULLOCK…..DAMN….FAITH is obviously his wife, and SANDRA is his co-star in “THE BLIND SIDE.”

HI THERE…MY NAME IS JAY DEAN…WOULD YOU BE MY FRIEND?

your daily blog is sponsored by DISCOUNT VAC AND DAKOTA HOT TUBS, BOTH IN ABERDEEN…..

1.  this morning, i had one of those obscure moments when a name pops into my head that i haven’t thought about in years….do you know what that name was?  ANSON WILLIAMS….he of course played “POTSIE” on “HAPPY DAYS.”  so, why not salute him while we’re talking about him…..here’s ANSON WILLIAMS back when the show was a huge hit….

and here’s ANSON WILLIAMS, today at the age of 60, believe it or not…..

the first picture is with DON MOST, who played “RALPH MALPH”, plus ERIN MORAN who played “JOANIE”, and CINDY WILLIAMS, from “LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY.”

2.  remember the “HAPPY DAYS” theme song and opening credits?  here it is…..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMxkMy9JvXI

3.  here are FIVE of the “WORST ALBUM COVERS EVER EVER EVER!!!!”

4.  YOUR CLASSIC COMMERCIAL FOR TODAY…

i used to try and sing this song from a “FRITOS” commercial back in 1978…..geez, couldn’t they have found a cuter kid to be in this commercial?  i was available…oh wait, i said cuter…..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Quq7bAzQ9cQ

5.  i cannot even imagine watching this…i’m not a tennis fan whatsoever, but i’m certainly not a tennis fan that could sit thru a match that is ALREADY OVER TEN HOURS LONG….AND STILL GOING….wow…did you hear about this?  AMERICAN JOHN ISNER and FRENCHMAN NICOLAS MAHUT are locked at 59-59 in the fifth match after their match was called last night because of darkness……these guys started their game tuesday, continued wednesday, and will HOPEFULLY finish today….here are some of the records that fell in this match:

longest match in tennis history:  well over ten hours long.

longest set in tennis history:  118 games

most games in tennis history:  163 games (the longest previous set at wimbledon was 46 games)…..they obliterated that record!!

6.  this “so called celebrity” LADY GAGA is in hot water over her antics at a new york yankees game the other day, and is now drawing the ire of such REAL celebrities like JERRY SEINFELD, CHRIS ROCK, and dozens of others…..she apparently wore skimpy clothing to the game, grabbed her boobs, got drunk, and made a complete ass out of herself in the yankee’s locker room….WHY WAS SHE IN THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?  check out these pictures of LADY GAGA at the yankees game…..CAN YOU SAY “MORPHING INTO MADONNA?”

7.  i had probably the BEST ICE CREAM CONE EVER last night at DAIRY QUEEN IN GROTON….i was heading home from HECLA, and craved an ice cream cone, so i gathered up every coin i could find in my van, and bought one….it was super duper good….

8.  MAYTAG is recalling nearly two million dishwashers…which, when you think about it, is basically what ARIZONA is trying to do…..

9.  a restraunt near PHOENIX, ARIZONA is hawking a 21 dollar “LION BURGER” in celebration of the world cup…..and you can tell it’s really fresh lion, too……because shortly after you eat it, it comes “roaring” out the other end……

10.  a naked woman in UTAH, stole two cars and led police on a very unusual chase…it was unusual because it was the first time that anyone in UTAH has seen a naked woman….

11.  JORAN VAN DER SLOOT is boasting that he’s had several marriage proposals while being jailed in PERU….yeah, but proposals from guys like BUBBA and SNAKE don’t count….

12.  singer KATY PERRY fell down at a party and had to get 17 stitches in her leg…lucky for her, men never look at her legs….

13.  the man who went to PAKISTAN to hunt down OSAMA BIN LADEN, is back in the UNITED STATES….and tomorrow he will leave for SOUTH AFRICA to hunt down the guy who invented the VUVUZELA…..

14.  CNN has hired former NEW YORK GOVERNOR ELLIOT SPITZER to host a new primetime talk show…now there’s a switch….ELIOT SPITZER is the one getting paid by the hour…

15.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

Three Texans go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and wake up in jail only to find out that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
     The first one strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words.
     He says, “I am from the Baylor School of Divinity and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent.”
     They throw the switch and nothing happens, so they figure God must not want this guy to die and they let him go.
     The second one is strapped in and gives his last words, “I am from the University of Texas School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.”
     They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. They figure that the law is on this guy’s side, so they let him go too.
     The last one is strapped in and says, “Well, I’m a Texas Aggie Electrical Engineer, and I’ll tell you right now, you ain’t gonna electrocute nobody if you don’t connect them two wires.”

HAVE A GREAT THURSDAY EVERYBODY…

JAY DEAN

DAKOTA HOT TUBS AND DISCOUNT VAC OF ABERDEEN, are proud to bring you today’s daily blog…make sure to stop in or call them and thank them…..

1.  my favorite comedy duo of all time is LAUREL AND HARDY…i thought that their brand of slapstick comedy was incredibly inventive and very funny….here are a couple of pictures of my boys….

and this is one of the final pictures of STAN LAUREL AND OLIVER HARDY OF “LAUREL AND HARDY” fame…you’ll notice that OLIVER HARDY lost all of the weight that he had during their films….

STAN LAUREL died in 1965, OLIVER HARDY died in 1957.

2.  here is the last footage EVER of LAUREL AND HARDY…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYAeYj8-G4w

3.  “SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE A NUT, SOMETIMES YOU DON’T”, that’s a classic line from a 1970 commercial for “MOUNDS ALMOND JOY”….check it out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgTFwP86mJI

4.  alright, time to get on my soapbox….there’s a radical group trying to get RONALD MCDONALD to retire, and trying to get MCDONALDS to stop putting toys in their happy meals, because it’s making our children fat….c’mon people….giving your kids a happy meal is THE PARENTS CHOICE, not some wacko group that has nothing to do but complain….and it’s MCDONALDS choice to retire RONALD MCDONALD, if they ever decide to do it.  i totally agree with freedom of speech, but i totally agree with my choice to call these people stupid…..there MUST BE better things to picket about…..

5.  this is pretty crazy….last night in the ATLANTA BRAVES baseball game at the CHICAGO WHITE SOX, BRAVES third baseman BROOKS CONRAD lost the ball when it was hit to him…check out where it was…this is funny….

http://mlb.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?content_id=9245953

6.  next up in the remake business at the theaters, FOOTLOOSE….c’mon HOLLYWOOD, leave the classics alone!! let us watch the older movies and enjoy it, without having to think about the remake….first of all, very very very few remakes are better than the originals, so STOP IT….i also hear rumors of a remake of “THE BREAKFAST CLUB.”  that really torks me off, because that’s a total classic film that cannot be duplicated and shouldn’t be either…..

7.  NOW I KNOW WHAT’S WRONG….did you know that i fell out of a moving car in BRITTON when i was small?  yep….i believe the car was going about 20 miles per hour, when the door opened up and i tumbled out….i think i was two or three years old…..luckily i wasn’t ran over by the car….i also climbed on the cupboard when i was small and took a whole bunch of valium….luckily they are slow working, and i was taken to the hospital and right before they were going to operate, i threw them up…..NOW WE KNOW WHERE MY BRAIN DAMAGE CAME FROM…ha ha

8.  the ILLINOIS DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH is investigating a salmonella outbreak that has sickened almost 100 people who at at a SUBWAY sandwich restraunt.  hey, now we know how JARED lost all that weight…

9.  OUCH….a man in JOHANNESBURG had to seek hospital treatment after several WORLD CUP fans shoved his vuvuzela horn UP HIS RECTUM…..WOW…I CAN’T BELEIVE THIS…you mean this happened to ONLY ONE GUY?  (those things are so damn annoying…) have you heard the sound? here it is…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BIgnEiT8ow

10.  91 year old 60 MINUTES correspondent ANDY ROONEY says there’s no way he’ll quit his job, and he says he will work until the day he dies……which is probably not too far in the distant future….wow…..NO WONDER HE SOUNDS LIKE A CRANKY OLD MAN…HE IS A CRANKY OLD MAN…

11.  fans are angry with KIM KARDASHIAN after she tweeted that she was ‘grossed out’ by seseing a woman breastfeeding her baby in public….apparently KARDASHIAN only things that breast should be seen in HOLLYWOOD celebrity sex tapes….weirdo….

12.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He’d been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, “Grandma, what’s that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?”
    She was a little taken aback, but she decided to just tell him the truth. “It’s called sexual intercourse, darling.”
    Little Tony just said,”Oh, OK,” and went back outside to play with the other kids.
    A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, “Grandma, it isn’t called sexual intercourse. It’s called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy’s Mom wants to talk to you.”

HA HA…HAVE A GREAT WEDNESDAY EVERYBODY…

JAY DEAN