BRING ON THE WEEKEND, BABY….
your daily blog is sponsored by DISCOUNT VAC AND DAKOTA HOT TUBS IN ABERDEEN….you simply MUST stop by DAKOTA HOT TUBS today, and see the coolest trailer i’ve ever seen..it’s only 500 pounds, and converts into a shelving unit for your garage or work area…..stop by 110 south jackson today and check it out…
1. guess who’s having a birthday today? TIMMY’S MOM FROM “LASSIE.” actress JUNE LOCKHART is 85 today…believe it or not, i’ve met JUNE…i was at the GRAND OLE OPRY IN NASHVILLE on night a few years back, and i had total backstage liberties….so, i saw JUNE LOCKART, and couldn’t remember her name, so i walked up to her and said, “pardon me for intruding, but i recognize you and cannot think of your name.” she said, “I’M TIMMY’S MOM FROM “LASSIE”…JUNE LOCKHART.” she was the most pleasant woman i have ever met…gentle, kind, and very generous….JUNE not only starred on “LASSIE”, but also on “LOST IN SPACE.” here are a couple of older pictures…
and here is JUNE LOCKHART today on her 85th birthday…LOOKIN’ DARN GOOD, TOO…
2. DYNOMITE….of course, that 70’s catch phrase that everyone knew, was developed by JIMMY “JJ” WALKER on the hit tv show, “GOOD TIMES”….JIMMY has a birthday today, he’s turning 63….here’s a couple of pictures of JIMMY WALKER back in his heyday…
and here he is today at the age of 63….
3. if you have the time, here’s a five minute episode of “GOOD TIMES”….notice a 13 year old JANET JACKSON…
4. i work at CARMIKE tonight and saturday for the first time in JUNE…yep, we’ve been very busy, but i’m looking forward to getting back to work at the theater…..i can’t decide if i want to see both of the new movies at CARMIKE…first of all, ADAM SANDLER, DAVID SPADE, KEVIN JAMES, CHRIS ROCK, AND ROB SCHNEIDER star in “GROWNUPS.” ROB SCHNEIDER drives me crazy in his movies….the other new movie is “KNIGHT AND DAY”, starring TOM CRUISE AND CAMERON DIAZ….it’s getting HAMMERED by the critics….we’ll have to see.
5. MAJOR HEARTBREAK…i was thinking the other day about when we lived in CAMPBELL, MINNESOTA…we were there for my freshman year only…one time we were getting ready for a winter dance, and there was a girl in our class that told EVERYONE that she wanted me to ask her to the dance….EVERYBODY came and talked to me saying “ASK HER…SHE SAID SHE WANTS TO GO WITH YOU.” so, i mustered the guts to do it, walked up to her in front of the whole class, and said, “SO, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO THE DANCE WITH ME?” and she looked at me and said….”NO.” i could have died, and the whole class sat there with their mouths open….and so began a lifetime of being a nerd and having women shoot me down left and right…..well, not all the time…that’s why i’m so shocked that i nabbed such a beautiful, warm, kind, fantastic woman like JEANNIE…guys like me just don’t get girls like her…..
6. i’ve decided that we’re going to move from WARNER…we’re going to be moving to SWEET LIPS, TENNESSEE….ha ha…on my morning show, we found of list of crazy real towns in the UNITED STATES…here are a couple of them…
WHY, ARIZONA, AND WHY NOT, MISSISSIPPI
LONELYVILLE, NEW YORK…(WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU LIVE THERE?)
CRANKY CORNER, LOUISIANA
LICK SKILLET, TENNESSEE…(TENNESSEE HAS THE BEST AND KOOKIEST NAMES EVER)
and my favorite place to live…how can you go wrong with HAPPYLAND, OKLAHOMA…
7. A FEW MORE “HORRIBLE” ALBUM COVERS….AND YES, THESE ARE REAL…
“NOTICE THE HAIRY LEGS…YUCK)
AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE FOR TODAY….(ISN’T THAT ‘GOATBOY’ FROM SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE?)
8. a FLORIDA man was run over by his own truck after HIS DOG put it into gear….cops say that it was an accident but i’m not so sure….bystanders heard the dog mumbling something about a “GAUDY LOOKING CHRISTMAS SWEATER HE WAS FORCED TO WEAR.”
9. a MALAYSIAN woman was arrested for trying to smuggle a large quantity of heroin in her BRA after police noticed her “abnormal breast size.” what a dumb woman….doesn’t she know that that particular region is where men look first?
10. LATOYA JACKSON had an emotional reunion with MICHAEL JACKSON’S old chimp BUBBLES on an “ANIMAL PLANET’ special that aired last week…..there was screeching, poop throwing and jumping up and down like a maniac….oh yeah, and the monkey was excited, too…
11. OZZY OSBORNE said that with all the drugs he’s taken over the last 40 years, he’s lucky to be alive…his doctors call him “SMUCKERS”, because of all the preservatives he has in him.
12. SANDRA BULLOCK showed up at a recent flood relief charity event in NASHVILLE, and played a song on an acoustic guitar…here new record called “ALL MY EXES ARE GIGANTIC CHEATIN’ SCUM BAGS”, will hit stores next week.
13. history’s longest tennis match ever finally ended at WIMBLEDON after three days when AMERICAN JOHN ISNER defeated FRENCHMAN NICOLAS MAHUT….everyone knew if it went long enough that the FRENCHMAN would eventually surrender…
14. JOKES OF THE DAY:
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
“Please allow me to help. I’m a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me,” she told him.
“Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,” the man replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, “How does that feel?”
He replied, “It feels great, but I still think my thumb’s broken.”
OKAY, HOW ‘BOUT THIS ONE …….
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money and was a real miser. He loved money more than just about anything.
Just before he died, he said to his wife, “Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.”
He made her promise with all her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.
When he did die, she sat at the ceremony next to her friend. After the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, “Wait just a minute!” She brought a box over and put it in the casket.
Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. Her friend said, “I hope you weren’t fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband!”
She said, “Listen, I’m a Christian. I can’t go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.”
“You mean to tell me you really put that money in the casket with him!!!!?”
“I sure did,” said the wife. “I wrote him a check.”
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND..