random thoughts for tuesday november 16th, 2010



1.  whatever happened to DOUG AND JULIE WILLIAMS on “DAYS OF OUR LIVES?”  they, of course, were played by actors BILL HAYES AND SUSAN SEAFORTH HAYES, and they became one of the most endearing couples on daytime tv….remember them?

well, they are still acting, even though they’re getting a bit older…BILL HAYES is now 85 years old, and SUSAN SEAFORTH HAYES is now 67….i didn’t realize that there was such a difference in their ages!!!  and here they are today!!!!

2.  your commercial of the day:


this featured actor MASON REESE….


and by the way, MASON REESE is now 45 years old…here he is today….

3.  HOLY CRIPES….it’s a good thing i can hide behind this flag today….


KEVIN SPITZER from SPITZER MILLER FUNERAL HOME is one of my best friends…we have a ton in common….and now we have even more…..i felt so sorry for KEVIN, who is a diehard DENVER BRONCOS fan, when the OAKLAND RAIDERS lit them up and scored 59 points on them a few weeks back….well, KEVIN AND I can both heal together, as last night the PHILADELPHIA EAGLES hung 59 on my beloved WASHINGTON REDSKINS…the game got ugly from the very first play when MICHAEL VICK threw a 65 yard touchdown pass…..heck, it was 35-0 at the end of the FIRST QUARTER…..and this came on the same day when our quarterback DONOVAN MCNABB signed a five year deal to stay with WASHINGTON…..UGLY UGLY UGLY….that’s all i can say…

4.  i am impressed, however, how i have matured in watching football games in the past few years….last night, i quietly shut the tv off, crawled into bed and got a good night’s sleep….in recent games, i would shut the tv off and immediately start doing something with JEANNIE AND MY BOYS….my life doesn’t change if my SKINS win or lose….years ago, i was throwing my shoes at the tv…cussing up a storm, and going outside to cool off….(well, i still might cuss a bit)….but i have matured quite a bit in knowing that the sun still comes up the next day, no matter what the outcome of the game is!!!

5.  check out these news bloopers…THE LAST ONE IS CRAZY FUNNY…


6.  have you ever seen the video of TRIUMPH THE INSULT COMIC DOG doing the forecast in HAWAII?  i almost wet my pants the first time i saw this….


7.  TSA agents are now giving full body pat-downs at the airports…oh, so that’s why it took so long for me to get thru the gate in ORLANDO….KIM KARDASHIAN was in front of me….

8.  the makers of a new fragrance claims that it can help make men irresistable to woman…what does it smell like anyway? folded laundry?

9.  a SANFORD, FLORIDA truck dealership triples it’s sales by offering a free AK-47 with every new truck sold.  NOTE TO SELF: DO NOT GIVE THE FINGER TO ANY TRUCK DRIVER IN FLORIDA!!!

10.  a man has been jailed for posting a naked picture of his ex-girlfriend on FACEBOOK…he gets jailtime…she gets 50,000 friend requests…

11.  cash strapped NEW YORK CITY announced that it will no longer look for lost pets…besides, most lost dogs end up on DONALD TRUMP’S head anyway…

12.  documents now show that after WORLD WAR II, the U.S. GOVERNMENT knowingly allowed known NAZI war criminals to start new lives in AMERICA…most of them became gym teachers….


(death jokes….how funny can that be?)

Peter decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Peter’s station wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm house and asked the attractive lady of the house if they could spend the night.
     “I’m recently widowed,” she explained, “and I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.”
     “Not to worry,” Peter said, “we’ll be happy to sleep in the barn.”
     Nine months later, Peter got a letter from the widow’s attorney. He then went up to visit his friend Bob and said, “Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?”
     “Yes, I do.”
     “Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and have sex with her?”
     “Yes, I have to admit that I did.”
     “Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?”
     Bob’s face turned red and he said, “Yeah, I’m afraid I did.”
     “Well, thanks! She just died and left me everything!”


     Father O’Grady was saying his goodbyes to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always does, when Mary Clancey came up to him in tears.
    “What’s bothering you so, dear?” inquired Father O’Grady.
     “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news,” replied Mary.
     “Well, what is it, Mary?” asked Father O’Grady.
     “Well, my husband passed away last night, Father,” said Mary.
     “Oh, Mary,” said the father. “That’s terrible. Tell me Mary, did he have any last requests?”
     “Well, yes he did, Father,” replied Mary.
     “What did he ask, Mary?” said the Father.
     Mary replied, … “He said, ‘Please, Mary, put down that gun.'”





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