businessweek.com and BLOOMBERG have come up with the top ten most affordable and best places to live in the UNITED STATES and guess what?

BROWN COUNTY SOUTH DAKOTA CAME IN SECOND!!!!!YEPPER…

BROWN COUNTY was chosen second from over 3,000 counties around the country….

NORTH DAKOTA’S CASS COUNTY featuring FARGO and WEST FARGO was voted number one….

criteria included housing costs, crime, unemployment, educational attainment in the county, plus, commute time, air quality, poverty, diversity and more…….

PRETTY AWESOME….see?  i’ve always said that this is the best place in the world to live!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

HERE’S SOMETHING FUN FOR YOU…

BUT IN REALITY, THIS IS THE CASE…

1.  today, one of the most beautiful women in the world turns 46 years old….i’m talking about BROOKE SHIELDS….i have had a mad crush on her ever since her early years of movies…she’s an actress, a model, a mommy, she does everything….here’s BROOKE SHIELDS in her early years….before “BLUE LAGOON.”

her mother used to get punished by the media for BROOKE’S  sexy and racy photos as a child…

and then came the huge hit movie ‘THE BLUE LAGOON”, which propelled BROOKE into superstardom….the movie co-starred CHRISTOPHER ATKINS…

by the way, are you wondering what CHRISTOPHER ATKINS looks like today?  well, he’s now 50 years old…and still acting…

and here’s our birthday girl, BROOKE SHIELDS today at 46….GORGEOUS….

2.  today we’re going to find out whatever happened to ELLY MAY and JETHRO from “THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES.”  first of all, let’s check out actress DONNA DOUGLAS who played ELLY MAY on the show….

DONNA DOUGLAS was a beauty queen in her early years, winning titles of “MISS BATON ROUGE”, and “MISS NEW ORLEANS.”  she appeared in toothpaste commercials, and was a guest star on many tv shows, but her big break came with “THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES.” 

she played ELLY MAY for all nine seasons of the show…today, DONNA DOUGLAS goes around to conventions and seminars promoting the show and ELLY MAY….she makes all kinds of personal appearances, and still kind of dresses the part…DONNA DOUGLAS is now 77 years old….here she is today…..one is with a fan of hers….

3.  meanwhile, MAX BAER, JR., played the part of playboy JETHRO BODINE on the show….he is the son of legendary boxer MAX BAER…he appeared in many different shows, until his big break…

today, MAX BAER, JR., is a millionaire, if not a billionaire….in his later years, he became part of the gambling circuit in LAS VEGAS and has made his fortune from that……he is a developer and a major business brain….

MAX BAER, JR., is now 73 years old…here he is today…one is with an adoring fan…

 

4.  it was MOVIE MANIA this weekend in our household….after being exhausted from graduation week, we decided to take it a bit easy this weekend, so we went to a couple of movies, and watched a couple at home…here my critiques……

first we saw “PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, ON STRANGER TIDES.”  JOHNNY DEPP is back in this great movie…JEANNIE AND I both loved this movie….JOHNNY DEPP as “CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW”, is just a riot….totally recommend this one…

yesterday afternoon, we decided to go see “HANGOVER 2”, the follow up to the amazingly funny, over the top comedy from a couple of years ago…..when we are at home, JEANNIE AND I watch the original one a lot…we love it….so……………..

I HATED THIS ONE….i thought this was a total waste of two hours…JEANNIE thought it was okay, but nothing great….it was almosted modeled after the first one, only this time it featured A MONKEY….i don’t know…i just wasn’t impressed, and i think i only laughed about 7 or 8 times…..very disappointing in my opinion…

yesterday morning at home, MITCHELL sat down to watch a movie called “BLUE VALENTINE”, starring RYAN GOSELING and MICHELLE WILLIAMS…it’s a love story about a couple and how they go together, and how they fall apart at the end…it was a very good movie…didn’t really care for the movie, but it was very emotional, and you really felt for the people in the movie…..it showed how another person can get involved in a marriage and totally screw things up….this is a dark movie, but pretty entertaining….

and last night, JEANNIE AND I ended the weekend on a HIGH NOTE…we watched the WILL FERRELL and MARK WAHLBERG cop comedy called ‘THE OTHER GUYS.’  i have mentioned before, that i’m not a huge WILL FERRELL fan anymore, but he is HILARIOUS in this role…not so over the top……if you haven’t seen this one, you might want to check it out…

 

5.  it didn’t slow me down this weekend, but i spent the entire weekend under the weather…it started out late friday with a scratchy throat…saturday it was in my throat…sunday and monday it moved into my chest and caused some tough breathing, especially with the humidity outside…pretty sure it was allergies, but i’m feeling a bit better today…..

6.  i don’t know why a person even tries to eat when you can’t taste anything….when i was sick this weekend, it just about killed my taste buds, but yet i crammed food down the old pie hole all weekend long….

7.  i was sucking on cough drops late one night this weekend when everybody else was in bed.  i was just sitting there watching tv, enjoying the cough drop, when all of a sudden it got caught in one of my fillings, and pulled part of the filling out….damn….and then i bit into the filling…that was even worse…ha ha

8.  FACEBOOK founder MARK ZUCKERBERG says that he “only eats what he kills.”  so, apparently for breakfast this morning he’s having all my free time…

9.  DALLAS COWBOYS quarterback TONY ROMO got married this past saturday night…attendance was low, though, because COWBOY’S owner JERRY JONES got into the church and LOCKED OUT all of the players….

10.  CHARLIE SHEEN is selling his LOS ANGELES mansion for $7.2 million dollars….nice place….the electrical system’s up to date…and CHARLIE just put in all new pipes….some of them haven’t even been smoked in yet….

11.  ***singer AMY WINEHOUSE is back in rehab again…

****singer SEAN KINGSTON is in critical condition after hitting a wall with his jet ski….

****SNOOKI is in custody in ITALY…

man, some people just can’t adapt to OPRAH retiring…

12.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

Homer was working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally sliced off all ten of his fingers.
     He rushes to the emergency room. The doctor who examines him is really disturbed at such a tragedy. “Oh, yuck! Well, that’s all right, Homer, give me the fingers and I’ll see what I can do for you.”
     “I haven’t got the fingers,” Homer said, gasping through his pain.
     The doctor said, “What do you mean, you haven’t got the fingers? It’s 2011. We’ve got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have reattached the fingers. You’d be as good as new! Why didn’t you bring the fingers?”
     “I couldn’t pick ’em up.”

TOO STUPID? HOW ‘BOUT THIS …..

    A Baptist Preacher was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas.
    After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him.
    The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink.
    Appalled, the preacher replied, “I’d rather be tied up and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips.”
    The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, “Me too, I didn’t know we had a choice.”

HAVE A GREAT TUESDAY EVERYBODY…

JAY DEAN

happy birthday wishes are going out this sunday to “BLAIR” from “THE FACTS OF LIFE.”  actress LISA WELCHEL turns 48 on sunday…she is the one in yellow in the following picture…

LISA has always been very beautiful, and still is days coming up to her 48th birthday…

2.  actress LEE MERIWEATHER turns 76 today…she, of course, is known for a couple of roles including ‘CATWOMAN’ on “BATMAN”…meow indeed….

the role that i remember LEE in, was the secretary for BUDDY EBSEN’S character “BARNABY JONES.”

here’s LEE MERIWEATHER today on her 76th birthday…still beautiful…

3.  today we’re going to find out whatever happened to actress NATALIE SHAFER….she played MRS. HOWELL, or “LOVEY” on “GILLIGAN’S ISLAND.”  on the show, she was the rich wife of millionaire THURSTON HOWELL, III….NATALIE SHAFER was an actress long before this hit show…

but of course, her role on ‘GILLIGAN’S ISLAND’ is what really made her a household name…

did you know that “GILLIGAN’S ISLAND” only ran for three seasons?  yep, and only 98 episodes….seems like when you watch the reruns that there was about 10 seasons…by the way, GILLIGAN’S ISLAND was considered a FLOP during it’s regular run, but became one of the biggest shows EVER in syndication…

NATALIE SHAFER died april 10th, 1991 at the age of 90…here ashes were scattered in the PACIFIC OCEAN…

here’s NATALIE SHAFER in her last few years…

4.  there are a couple of movies opening up this weekend nationwide…first of all, it’s “THE HANGOVER 2″….

my son TYLER went to see the midnight release of this movie, and said it was “okay.”  personally, i hate it when they take great movies like “THE HANGOVER”, and ruin it with sequels…..this one looks about the same, only the added a MONKEY….we’ll have to see..i’m sure it will do great in theaters…

the other movie coming out is JACK BLACK in “KUNG FU PANDA 2.”  are we going to see it?  that would be a resounding no…

5.  JEANNIE AND I were talking about this weekend, and in addition to a bunch of household projects, we are planning on catching up on movies at the theater…we usually go to movies a lot, but we’ve been so busy this year….and YES, i’m sure we’ll go to see “HANGOVER 2.”  also we’ll see the new “PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN” movie…we really wanted to see “WATER FOR ELEPHANTS,” but we missed it by a couple of days…

6.  lately i’ve been so doggone tired that i can’t stay awake when i get home in the afternoon..i plant my butt on the couch and usually sleep for an hour or two…yesterday i went home and was very tired, but decided to go out and mow the lawn and trim up the yard….I FELT INCREDIBLE…really gave me a burst of energy…then last night, JEANNIE AND I went out and walked close to two hours…i need to do a lot more of that….i need to lose some of this BABY FAT…..ha ha

7.  RAIN is forecast all weekend long….CRAP…

8.  the air traffic controllers union said that controller trainees are placing a serious strain on the air traffic system..i know what they mean..i heard that sometimes it takes as many as THREE TRAINEES to get the fitted sheet on the mattress so they can sleep on the job..

9.  parents of children at a school in ENGLAND, have been asked to stop being so casual by wearing PAJAMAS to drop off their kids at school…hey, give them a break..they’re probably just going to their job as an air traffic controller…OH NO I DIDN’T…OH YES I DID!!!

10.  after the UNITED STATES put sanctions on his country, VENEZUELA’S oil chief said that the UNITED STATES can “GO STRAIGHT TO HELL.”  sorry dude, that’s impossible…we can’t afford gas to go ANYWHERE…

11.  basketball star KRIS HUMPHRIES gave a 20.5 carat round diamond engagement ring to KIM KARDASHIAN…basketballs…the diamond…KIM KARDASHIAN…he’s obviously obsessed with large, round things…

12.  LIBYA’S MOAMMAR GADAFFI is asking for a deal where he can remain in his country, serving as a ceremonial head of state, but without any real authority….hmm…kinda sounds like me in my house…

13.   JOKE OF THE DAY:

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. The sign on the cage read $50.00.
     “Why so little?” she asked the pet store owner.
     The owner looked at her and said, “Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution and sometimes says some vulgar stuff.”
     The woman thought about this but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird’s cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
     The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, “New house, new madam.”
     The woman was a bit shocked at the implication but then thought, “That’s not so bad.”
     When her two teen-age daughters returned from school the bird saw them and said, “New house, new madam, new hookers.”
     The girls and the woman were a bit offended, but then began to laugh about the situation.
     Moments later, the woman’s’ husband, Keith, came home from work.
     The bird looked at him and said, “Hi Keith!”

HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND EVERYBODY…

JAY DEAN

I’M DEFINETLY NOT FISHING IN THIS AREA!!!

1.  happy birthday wishes are going out to the young man who played BRIAN TANNER on “ALF.”  his name is BENJI GREGORY, and he played the youngest son on the hit tv show…

here’s a cast photo of this great show…

my how time flies….BENJI GREGORY turns 33 today…and here’s a recent picture….

2.  “OH…WISEGUY!!”  today we are going to salute the head stooge of “THE THREE STOOGES.”  of course, we’re talking about MOE HOWARD….MOE was the leader of LARRY AND CURLY…here’s MOE back in the days of this glorious, super funny trio…

MOE HOWARD sold real estate in his years after THE THREE STOOGES….later in life, he appeared on the MIKE DOUGLAS SHOW…here are a couple of pictures…

MOE HOWARD died on may 4th, 1975 at the age of 77…he died a day before my birthday…he was entombed in CULVER CITY’S HILLSIDE MEMORIAL PARK CEMETARY….

by the way, his wife died of a heart attack just a few months after her husband….

3.  I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS….there is a THREE STOOGES movie being filmed right now…..it stars CHRIS DIAMANTOPOULOS as MOE, MAD TV’S  WILL SASSO as CURLY, and WILL AND GRACE’S SEAN HAYES as LARRY…a picture leaked out yesterday of the filming, and it looks wonderful…check it out….that’s SEAN HAYES, by the way…

4.  there’s a nice article in the sports section today on TERRY ULMER, longtime educator in HECLA…TERRY is a wonderful man, and is a member of my church, ST. JOHN’S in HECLA, and is a friend of mine….he’s retiring as a “starter” for area track meets…he has been doing track and field  for over 44 years…FOURTY FOUR YEARS…  congrats TERRY, and have fun at the cabin….ha ha

5.  speaking of TERRY ULMER, i have a funny story for you….back in 1980, i went to the HECLA prom with a good friend, LYNN DINGER…now BUTLER….anyway, while sitting at our table, i was talking and dipping cheetos into the candle, when all of a sudden one caught on fire.  i dropped it on the tablecloth, and that cheap paper tablecloth caught fire, and went up in smoke in like 2.3 seconds…we all moved ot a different table…i found out that TERRY was there that night, and he told me in church one day that if he had seen that he would have “grabbed me by the hair and threw you out of there.”  i have no doubt that he would have…thank goodness he didn’t see it…

6.  i’m a big fan of “underdogs”….last night the DALLAS MAVERICKS eliminated the OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER from the NBA  playoffs….so now, i OFFICIALLY am done watching them, and don’t care who wins….i don’t like DALLAS, i’m sick of the CHICAGO BULLS, and i really don’t like the LEBRON JAMES led MIAMI HEAT…i’ll just concentrate on the STANLEY CUP FINALS….

7.  a poll by REASON MAGAZINE found that 58 percent of AMERICANS think that AMERICA would be the same or better off if CONGRESS met only once every two years….but people forget, if they’re not in session they will either be CAMPAIGNING or having affairs…KEEP THEM IN WASHINGTON…ha ha

8.  a recent study found that frequent use of alcohol-based hand sanitizers can lead you to test positive for alcohol consumption…it’s true…so, that means that LINDSAY LOHAN, MEL GIBSON, AND NICK NOLTE may not have been drunk..they’re just compulsive germaphobes….

9.  a riot at SAN QUENTIN prison left four inmates hospitalized…that’s a heck of a way to mourn OPRAH’S last show…

10.  MARYLAND is going to start using BIRTH CONTROL FOR DEER…wow…what are they going to do?  let teenagers drive two years earlier?

11.  a man was arrested recently for umm…pleasuring himself ona UNITED AIRLINES flight from SPOKANE to DENVER…he was the only guy onboard that the flight attendant didn’t ask to return to his upright position…

12.  a photo of JUSTIN BIEBER shirtless in HAWAII has been circulating online.  BIEBER leaked the photo because it was the only way he could prove to the press that he’s not a little girl….

13.  the city of WEST PALM BEACH, FLORIDA is considering publishing the names of men who are arrested for solicitation of a prostitute…..they’re also going to list which branch of CONGRESS they belong to…..

14.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game.
    After watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player’s and whispers ” Wow, that’s a really smart dog!”
    The man whispers backs “He isn’t that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail.”

HAVE A TREMENDOUS THURSDAY EVERYBODY…

JAY DEAN

HAPPY WEDNESDAY EVERYBODY…

 

1.  the GREENBUSH twins are having a birthday today…LINDSAY AND SIDNEY GREENBUSH played the role of CARRIE on “LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE.”

CARRIE was the youngest INGALLS child….

this will make you feel old…the GREENBUSH twins are 41 today…FOURTY ONE….wow…here they are today…

 

2.  today in our “whatever happened to” file, we see where RAYMOND BURR is today…remember him? RAYMOND BURR is mostly known for starring in “PERRY MASON.”

but my FAVORITE role that RAYMOND BURR starred in was in the show ‘IRONSIDE’.  he played detective MICHAEL IRONSIDE for eight seasons on tv….hmm..i always thought that “IRONSIDE” was the fact that he was in a metal wheelchair…here the “IRONSIDE” cast…

RAYMOND BURR continued to act, and even appeared in many of the “DEAN MARTIN CELEBRITY ROASTS.”  he was  a very funny man, although you probably wouldn’t know it.  RAYMOND BURR died back in 1993 at the age of 76.  he had cancer. he actually fell ill while filming a “PERRY MASON” film.    he is buried in BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, in a grave with his parents…a pretty modest gravesite for a big tv star…

here’s RAYMOND BURR in his later years…

 

3.  hey, i found the opening credits for “IRONSIDE.”  remember this?  i used to LOVE this show…

http://youtu.be/2zwldZtSx28

4.  WELL, THERE’S TWO HOURS OF MY LIFE I’LL NEVER GET BACK…last night JEANNIE AND I went to see the new movie “BRIDESMAIDS.”  everyone has been talking about how it’s a female “HANGOVER” movie…maybe so, but the big difference is…THIS MOVIE SUCKED….neither one of us cared for it..

..i don’t think i even laughed until 30 minutes into the show….pretty disappointing considering we have been waiting to see it…the only bright spot was that KRISTIN WIIG of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE fame, was incredible…and SUPER HOT….

5.  even thought i LOVED KRISTIN WIIG in the movie, there’s a few characters that i just cringe when i watch her do on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE…she’s a very talented actress and comedian, but some of her characters just make me leave the room..here are a couple of them…

 

6.  i cannot beleive the people that talk OUT LOUD in theaters during the previews and movies……i know that some people think that the previews aren’t much and they can talk up until movie time, but you’re wrong….and what’s wrong with talking QUIETLY?  unbelievable….

7.  HAROLD CAMPING who predicted the world would end last weekend, when it didn’t, now says that the apocalypse will be october 31st….who cares?  if there’s no NFL my world is over anyway….

8.  TOYOTA is getting ready to market cars that will TWEET their owners…some of the tweets will be…

“stop passing gas into my seat you moron..”

“hey, that woman’s not your wife!!”

and

“if you dig any deeper in your nose, you’re going to hit brain.”

9.  an animal welfare group is investigating a dog that’s been seen outside NEW YORK baseball stadiums with a money cup and a panhandling sign…that’s true….PEOPLE…STOP TEACHING YOUR DOGS TO BEG….

10.  SNOOP DOGG wants to produce a talent competition show to find new rappers….wow…if rappers get their own reality show, they’ll have more BEEPS than ROADRUNNER cartoons…

11.  a state legislator in MAINE began babbling nonsense and then pulled out a gun outside of a DUNKIN’ DONUTS….ah yes…another member of congress putting the “NUT” in DONUT….

12.  JOKE OF THE DAY: (a classic)

A little girl asked her mother, “mom, how old are you?”
     Her mother snapped back at her, “Haven’t I told you it’s not polite to ask a woman her age?”
     The little girl was telling her friend the story and her friend told her, “You can find out anything you want about your mother from her driver’s license.”
     The next day, the daughter approached her mother, “Mom, I know EVERYTHING about you.”
     Her mother said, “Like what?”
     “I know how old you are, you’re 38. I know you weigh 137 pounds, and I know why dad divorced you.”
     “You do, do you? Well tell me.”
     The daughter looked at her mother with a sad face and said, “Because you got an F in sex!”

HAVE A SUPER DUPER TREMENDOUS WEDNESDAY EVERYBODY…

JAY DEAN

IT’S THE REVENGE OF THE DUCKS!!!!!!!!!!

 

1.  MITCHELL AND I were watching “THE SIMPSON’S” last night, and i got to wondering whatever happened to MARCIA WALLACE…MARCIA is the voice of the teacher, EDNA KRABAPPEL on the show…

MARCIA WALLACE is mostly known as the secretary on the “BOB NEWHART SHOW.”  she also was one of the panelists on “MATCH GAME.”

MARCIA WALLACE continues to act and make public appearances today.  she is now 68…..here she is today.

 

2. speaking of “THE BOB NEWHART SHOW”, let’s find out whatever happened to SUZANNE PLESHETTE…she, of course, played BOB’S wife on the hit tv show….what a beauty she was….check out an early picture…

did you know that later in life, SUZANNE PLESHETTE married her “NEWHART” co-star TOM POSTON?  yep, she did…

SUZANNE PLESHETTE died on january 19th, 2008 of lung cancer at the age of 70…here she is in recent years..one with blonde hair, one with dark…ha ha

 

3.  yesterday it was announced that singer KATY PERRY has a contract rider that’s about a couple dozen pages long…if you don’t know what a “rider” is, it’s what the ‘star’ is demanding besides cash when they do a concert…KATY PERRY obviously is letting her ego get the best of her…..part of her rider says “no carnations” anywhere backstage…she also demands that no limo driver ever look her directly in the eyes…..DIVA ALERT…

4.  with the KATY PERRY debacle over her “demands”, it got me thinking of previous stories that i heard about some artists…

***i’ve heard many times that artists demand something stupid like “only green m &m’s”….i think it’s just to see if they can get it.

***i heard of a huge artists from australia that had one semi full of his australian furniture, so his dressing room can look like home.

***i know of one country giant, who wouldn’t allow anyone but women in his dressing room…tough for me to get an interview in that situation.

***and i heard a story about a big name artist who appeared at our own “lumber company” years ago that demanded that an office get revamped into a bathroom just for him….don’t know if it’s true or not, but knowing this artist i wouldn’t doubt it.

***when i was working in LISBON, N.D., we brought country star JOHN MICHAEL MONTGOMERY to town when he first started.  before his show, we took three people to carry all the food and drinks and other supplies to his bus that his “rider” demanded….when he opened the door he asked “what is all this stuff?”  i told him that it was demanded in his contract, and he said, “i don’t need all of this stuff.”  we let him keep it anyway, but that proved that his managers and booking agents were the ones who were treating him like a superstar…sometimes it’s not the artist….

5.  “TWO AND A HALF MEN” was on tv last night…after all of the CHARLIE SHEEN bullcrap over the last year, i found it hard to watch the show…..and i don’t know if ASHTON KUTCHER can pull me back in…..sad…used to love that show….

6.  i really like FACEBOOK for one thing…it’s got me reaquainted with friends from the past…i’m now visiting with former classmates from VEBLEN, BRITTON, AND CAMPBELL-TINTAH, MINNESOTA…plus i’m catching up with relatives in NEW YORK CITY and SOUTH CAROLINA…that’s one of the good things about FACEBOOK…there are some negatives, but for me, i think the positives outweight the negatives…

7.  a man from WASHINGTON STATE says he has a fetish for cars…a fetish?  he literally falls in love with cars, unless it’s a convertible with it’s top down..then it’s pure lust…..

8.  a woman in SAUDI ARABIA was detained by police after driving a car….you see, women are forbidden to drive, and she did and posted a video on YOUTUBE…plus they gave her a ticket for DWV….”DRIVING WITHOUT A VEIL.”

9.  67 year old MICK JAGGER has put together a new band called “SUPER HEAVY.”  he came up with the name while trying to push open the recording studio door….

10.  reports say that ASHTON KUTCHER is only legally obligated to do “TWO AND A HALF MEN” for one year…which is barely enough time to clean the liquor bottles and drug garbage from CHARLIE SHEEN’S trailer…

11.  the FBI released new figures that show that violent crime dropped in the UNITED STATES by 5.5 percent last year…that’s because the price of gas was so high that nobody could afford to do “drive-by’s.”

12.  writer STEPHEN KING says that if he would do a remake of his classic movie ‘CARRIE’, he would hire LINDSAY LOHAN to play the title role…finally, a prom that LINDSAY could go to that she would remember……

13.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, die in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to the wife’s neurotic interest in health food.
     When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they “oohed and aahed”, the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.
     “It’s free,” Peter replied, Remember, this is Heaven.”
     Next they went out back to see the championship golf course the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges every day, and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on Earth.
     The old man asked, “What are the green fees?”
     “This is heaven,” St. Peter replied. “You play for free.”
     Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out. “How much to eat?” asked the old man.
     “Don’t you understand yet?” St. Peter asked. “This is heaven. It’s free!”
     “Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods?” the old man asked timidly.
     “That’s the best part … you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven.”
     The old man looked at his wife and said, “You and your stinking bran muffins. I could have been here ten years ago!”

HAVE A GREAT TUESDAY EV


 

YEP, IT’S TRUE…MONDAY SUCK FOR EVERYONE!!!

 

1.  today we’re going to salute comedian DAVID BRENNER…i completely forgot about him!!!!  DAVID BRENNER used to be on “THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JOHNNY CARSON” all the time..in fact, if my memory serves me correctly, he hosted the show while JOHNNY was gone once in awhile, too….and JOHNNY was gone quite a bit…ha ha

here’s DAVID BRENNER back in his younger days…

this is probably weird, but when i was a kid, i thought that DAVID BRENNER looked like GRANDFATHER CLOCK on CAPTAIN KANGAROO…

of course, that’s HOWDY DOODY along with GRANDFATHER CLOCK…

DAVID BRENNER is still out there tickling people’s funny bones…he is now 75 years old…..how can that be?

here’s DAVID BRENNER today….

 

2.  let’s find out what’s happening with COL. SHERMAN POTTER, actor HARRY MORGAN…in his early days, HARRY MORGAN starred with JACK WEBB on “DRAGNET.”

HARRY MORGAN is best known for playing COL. SHERMAN POTTER on M*A*S*H…..

HARRY MORGAN is still alive and kickin’ at the tender age of 96…

3.  graduation at WARNER HIGH SCHOOL is over…and MITCHELL is now out of school…it’s just hard to beleive that our days with WHS are over….as i mentioned before, i would do the last 21 years over in a heartbeat……here’s a picture of MITCHELL with a couple of friends on graduation day…you’ll notice some dork in the background trying to ruin the picture….

4.  our thoughts and prayers go out to the people of MINNEAPOLIS AND ST. PAUL, who were smoked yesterday by a few massive tornadoes…one person is dead, and many many are injured….the following pictures of the devastation are courtesy of the STAR TRIBUNE…

 

5.  last night after the tornadoes hit the TWIN CITIES, they moved into MISSOURI, and caused massive damage…in fact, as of this morning over 90 people have died in JOPLIN, MISSOURI….that many deaths in one city…plus authorities plan on finding more bodies today…how sad….

6.  had the opportunity to go to graduation services at BRITTON HECLA yesterday…i was there for my cousin’s daughter KALI RAMSEY, and one of my church girls in HECLA, SHAYNA HARTMAN…while i there, i scanned across the crowd and saw numerous people that i remember from 30-40 years ago…a lot of them look exactly the same, only a bit older…what a nostaligic day….my MOM’S class of 1961 was honored at graduation on their 50th anniversary…however, MOM didn’t make it there, but i had a blast visiting with her classmates….

7.  the religious broadcaster who predicted the end of the world this past saturday, wouldn’t answer his phone after the world survived again….maybe he just wasn’t home…which means one thing…HE MADE PLANS FOR THE WEEKEND!!!!

8.  MITCH DANIELS announced that he would not run for PRESIDENT in 2012, because it would be too hard on his family…and that wouldn’t be right considering his family members are the only people in AMERICA who know who the hell he is….

9.  researchers say that VIAGRA may cause users to go deaf…the same report came out a few months ago, but apparently a lot of people didn’t hear it….

10.  suicide doctor JACK KERVORKIAN has been hospitalized with a serious illness….the nurses and doctors say that he just lays there mumbling….something like “STAY AWAY FROM THE PLUG…STAY AWAY FROM THE PLUG…”

11.  the smokinggun.com obtained singer KATY PERRY’S 45 page concert rider and her demands include that her limo driver not look her directly in the eyes…..don’t worry KATY, that’s not where his eyes will be focused anyway…..SOME CELEBRITIES ARE SO STUPID…

12.  TIGER WOODS continues to slip in golf….soon he could drop his ranking to 15th place…then he’ll know how his wife felt…

13.  JUSTIN BIEBER is launching a women’s fragrance….what exactly does a teenager know about women’s fragrances?  what’s it called anyway?  PEPPERONI PIZZA?

14.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

Deep In the back woods of Tennessee, a hillbilly’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, “Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am
doing.” Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.

Whoa there, said the doctor, “Don’t be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there’s another one coming.” Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. “Hold that lantern up, don’t set it down there’s another one!” said the doctor.

Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby.

“No, don’t be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there’s yet another one coming!” cried the doctor.

The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, “You reckon it might be the light that’s attractin’ ’em?

HAVE A GREAT MONDAY EVERYBODY!!

JAY DEAN