OH CRAP..GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS…HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE FELT LIKE THIS BEFORE?
HERE’S YOUR MONDAY MORNING FUNNY!!!!
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1. it’s a huge day today….it’s my favorite crush’ birthday…OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN turns 63 today…wow…can’t believe she’s that old….anyway, i’ve had a mad crush on her since around 1974….here’s the way this gorgeous woman looked back then…
here’s my favorite OLIVIA album…
and here is the incredibly beautiful OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN today on her 63rd birthday…
2. what would a birthday salute be without a couple of OLIVIA tunes….
here’s one of my favorite songs, “IF YOU LOVE ME LET ME KNOW.”
and here is “LET IT SHINE.”
3. “ELLY MAY” is having a birthday today….and guess how old she is? DONNA DOUGLAS played the young lady on ‘THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES” and DONNA is turning 79 today…one year away from 80….here she is back on the show…
and here is DONNA DOUGLAS today at 79….
here she is with MAX BAER, JR., who played “JETHRO” on the show…the guy in the middle is EARL SCRUGGS who performed the “HILLBILLIES” theme song with LESTER FLATT….”FLATT AND SCRUGGS”….
4. MELISSA SUE ANDERSON also has a birthday today…you may remember her as “MARY” on “LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE.”
MELISSA SUE ANDERSON turns 49 today…and, in my opinion, is still GORGEOUS…she has killer eyes, by the way….
5. WELL, TONIGHT’S THE NIGHT…
i think this game is going to be tight, but i predict the SKINS winning over the COWBOYS, by either a field goal, or one touchdown….these two teams ALWAYS get up when playing each other….i believe this is the best rivalry in football…..
6. how about those BUFFALO BILLS? they come storming back and beat the NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS yesterday, for the first time in FIFTEEN YEARS…the suprising BILLS are now 3-0….
you know who else is 3-0…the shocking DETROIT LIONS, who came back and beat the now 0-3 MINNESOTA VIKINGS…for the third straight game the VIKES have squandered a lead in the second half…..i think that CHRISTIAN PONDER’S quarterbacking for the VIKINGS is coming sooner than later….
7. i remembered something this weekend that i had forgot about…CARPET CLEANING SUCKS….it’s actually not that bad once you get into it, but preparing for it, and hauling everything out of rooms is yucky……
8. MICHIGAN representative THADDEUS MCCOTTER announced this weekend that he is no longer running for president….a stunned group of media uttered the same thing…”WHO?”
9. a new I-HOP has opened up in NEW YORK CITY with a late night bouncer to control drunken customers…and the police are cracking down too….you’d better hope you never hear this from the cops….”SIR, YOU’RE UNDER ARREST…YOUR MAPLE SYRUP/BLOOD ALCOHOL LEVEL IS 2.9%.”
10. on october 31st, WRIGLEY FIELD is showing the 80’s hit film “FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF”, on the jumbo screens….they wanted a current film, but, just like CHICAGO CUB’S fans, they’ll have to wait until next year….
11. a poll by “PARADE” magazine, named KIM KARDASHIAN as the most annoying celebrity….although, that may be somewhat of a stretch calling KIM a “CELEBRITY.”
12. SIMON AND SCHUSTER announced plans to publish a tell-all book by ARNOLD SCHWARZEGGER, about his struggle from obscurity to worldwide fame….i have a suggest for a tag line for the book….”IT’S THE STORY OF A SELF MADE MAN, WHO MADE THE MAID HIMSELF.”
13. on the most recent episode of “JERSEY SHORE”, SNOOKI had a major drunk and crying meltdown…and more bad news over the weekend…SNOOKI wasn’t hit by that falling satellite.
14. JOKE OF THE DAY:
Two factory workers were talking. “I know how to get some time off from work.” said the man.
“How do you think you will do that?” said the blonde.
He proceeded to show her by climbing up to the rafters, and hanging upside down.
The boss walked in, saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asked him what on earth he was doing?
“I’m a light bulb” answered the guy.
“I think you need some time off,” said the boss.
So the man jumped down and walked out of the factory. The blonde began walking out too.
The boss asked her where did she think she was going?
“Home. I can’t work in the dark.”
HAVE A TERRIFIC MONDAY EVERYBODY…