WE’RE GETTING CLOSER!!!
YOUR THURSDAY FUNNIES!!!
1. happy birthday wishes are going out to “THE KILLER”…that’s right, JERRY LEE LEWIS turns 76 today….wow…he’s known for his rock n roll classics like “GREAT BALLS OF FIRE.” he, unfortunately, is also known for marrying his 13 year old cousin, MYRA…
here he is in 1956 at the age of 19, performing for SUN RECORDS…
and here is JERRY LEE LEWIS today on his 76th birthday…by the way, yes, he is still out there performing….
2. here’s a couple of videos of “THE KILLER.” here’s an early version of “GREAT BALLS OF FIRE.”
and here’s one of my favorites, “WILD ONE.”
3. i know we’ve featured him before, but for you “NEWBIES” out there, here’s a birthday tribute to “PUGSLEY” from “THE ADDAMS FAMILY.” his name is KEN WEATHERWAX, and he turns 56 today…here he is back on the hit tv show…
and here is KEN WEATHERWAX today at 56….
4. a message for the DALLAS COWBOYS…DROP IT AND GET ON WITH LIFE.” the COWBOYS want the NFL to look at the footage from the monday night football game against my WASHINGTON REDSKINS, because, they say, that the SKINS were the cause of the center hiking the ball too early to TONY ROMO…..maybe they were, maybe they weren’t. all i can say is that this move by DALLAS is only going to add to the hatred between the two teams…
5. yesterday i talked about the death of country legend, JOHNNY WRIGHT…well, today, i want to talk a little bit more about him….JOHNNY WRIGHT, was the husband of country legend, KITTY WELLS, in fact, HE was the one to give her the name of “KITTY WELLS.” her real name is MURIEL DEASON, and JOHNNY thought that was too hard to remember…..
anyway, when i saw JOHNNY WRIGHT out at CRAVEN CORNER, i was impressed and blown away by how kind he was….TODAY’S COUNTRY STARS NEED TO TAKE SOMETHING FROM THE COUNTRY LEGENDS….these guys, including JOHNNY WRIGHT, are so so so kind, and that’s amazing being they have been doing this since the late 40’s and early 50’s….you will never meet nicer people than JOHNNY WRIGHT, KITTY WELLS, LITTLE JIMMY DICKENS, MINNIE PEARL, and others…unfortunately, most of them are gone….
6. as i have mentioned many many times, i AM NOT a fan of reality tv shows. however, last night, no pun intended, i got HOOKED on a fishing show…..i was scanning channels about 7:00 last night, and hit the ANIMAL PLANET channel, where a show was on called “HILLBILLY HAND FISHING.”
first of all, the guy on the left is probably the HAIRIEST man i have ever seen…these two guys bring in people from all over the country who probably have never fished in thier lives, and they bring them out catfish hunting, and they have to use ONLY THEIR HANDS to catch them…pretty darn good show…it was hilarious watching city slickers trying to grab these huge fish…one of them weighed over 50 pounds!!
7. the wife is gone tonight…and that means one thing…pizza, diet pepsi, and popcorn….every single time she is gone, she knows i’m going out to get a frozen PIZZA CORNER pizza…..i don’t think she even mentions it or argues me about it anymore…ha ha.. i know this isn’t good for my diet, but for one time, i really don’t care….
8. NASA discovered that the falling six ton satellite landed in the PACIFIC OCEAN, far from any people…NASA calls it the “perfect, ideal spot.” NOPE…many people thought the “ideal spot” was landing on congress….
9. health experts say that you can be 13 pounds lighter by walking for just 30 minutes everyday…unless that walk is to your local DAIRY QUEEN, or MCDONALD’S….
10. HALLMARK is now selling “layoff” greeting cards to give to people who have lost thier jobs…and to add insult to injury to those laid off, the cards are made in CHINA…
11. a man from CONWAY, ARKANSAS, has been arrested for allegedly accosting women and sucking thier toes….he’s known as the “TOE SUCK FAIRY,” which is a HORRIBLE nickname to have going into prison….
12. as i mentioned yesterday, ANDY ROONEY is retiring this sunday night from “60 MINUTES.” he is now 92 years old…he’s leaving the show, and officials haven’t named his replacement….probably ASHTON KUTCHER…
13. speaking of ASHTON KUTCHER, an entertainment magazine called STAR MAGAZINE, is reporting that ASHTON KUTCHER and DEMI MOORE have broken up…no official word, though…if this is true, it will give DEMI a chance to date men more her age…like ANDY ROONEY…
14. beachgoers in northeast BRAZIL are reporting many attacks by piranhas’s….to me, that’s okay if it cuts down on the number of men wearing speedos…
15. JOKE OF THE DAY:
A wife came home to her husband and said, “Honey, the car won’t start, but I know what the problem is.”
He asked her what it was, and she told him there was water in the carburetor.
He thought for a moment, then said, “You know, I don’t mean this offensively, but you don’t know the carburetor from the accelerator.”
“No, there’s definitely water in the carburetor,” she insisted.
“Okay, honey, that’s fine,” he said. “I’ll go take a look … where is it?”
“In the lake.”
HAVE A TERRIFIC THURSDAY EVERYBODY…