OH, C’MON…IT’S NOT THAT BAD….
YOUR WEDNESDAY FUNNIES!!!
THIS ACTUALLY APPEARED IN A NEWSPAPER….WOW…
1. happy birthday wishes are going out today to former “first child” AMY CARTER…she is the daughter of former PRESIDENT JIMMY CARTER, and his wife ROSALYNN…AMY turns 44 today…everybody remembers her….
here’s a current picture of AMY CARTER on her wedding day recently….
2. does anybody remember the “embarrassment” of the CARTER years in the WHITE HOUSE? it was JIMMY CARTER’S brother, JIMMY CARTER….he was kind of a goofball, who ended up making his own beer, “BILLY BEER.” here he is….
the “class” of the CARTER presidential years was his mother LILLIAN….she was wonderful…
BILLY CARTER died in 1988 at the age of 51…LILLIAN CARTER died in 1983 at the age of 85……
3. today we are going to find out whatever happened to singer GORDON LIGHTFOOT….he is definetly one of my favorite singers, and i LOVE a bunch of his music….
here are a couple of GORDON LIGHTFOOT’S famous album covers from the 70’s…..
GORDON LIGHTFOOT is still out there performing, but we almost lost him back in 2002…he was onstage, and when he was done he complained of stomach pain…turns out it was a ruptured abdominal aortic aneurysm. he had four major surgeries, and was in the hospital for more than three months.
nowdays, GORDON LIGHTFOOT is back on tour….I had the distinct honor of meeting him in SIOUX FALLS a couple of years back…here is GORDON LIGHTFOOT, yours truly, and radio legend DENNY PITMAN…..my brother TROY is shy…he’s hanging out in the background….
4. when JEANNIE AND I were at BUFFALO BILL CODY’S home in NORTH PLATTE, NEBRASKA the other day, we learned a bit of trivia that we didn’t know….did you know that many years ago, there were between 25-35 million buffalo roaming the land in our country? yep….they were thinned down to around 350 years later…..the number is up today, but not NEAR as what it was years ago…AMAZING…..
5. last night while feeling under the weather, i was lying on the couch watching tv….a two hour show came on that talked indepth about the movie “SILENCE OF THE LAMBS.” it was superb…i love watching documentaries on movies like that…..after that, there was a two hour show on “FATAL ATRACTION”, but i missed that because i took nyquil and was completely zoned out…..
6. i did sleep most of the afternoon yesterday, but during the times i woke up i found out one thing….AFTERNOON TV SUCKS….wow…there is nothing on that’s really worth watching….i had to resort to re-runs of CRAIG FERGUSON’S late night tv show….which i LOVE, by the way….
7. VICE PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN said that AMERICANS have to spend more money on education because our students are “the kite strings that lift our national ambitions aloft.” hmm…up until now i didn’t realize that it was the STRINGS that got the kites off the ground……
8. retail sales were up in september…that’s the good news…the bad news is that sales were up because everybody was buying HALLMARK “sorry you got laid off” cards….
9. a competitor at the “world scrabble championships” demanded his opponent be strip searched after the disappearance of the letter “G.” the letter “G” was later found sponsoring an episode of SESAME STREET.
10. in TORONTO, a 100 year old man became the first centurion ever to run a full marathon….i think i could run a marathon when i’m 100…but i would have to get started right now…
11. EMINEM, KEITH RICHARDS, AND LIL’ WAYNE appear on the cover of the new issue of “G.Q.” magazine, named as the “GODS OF ROCK.” of course, when you’re talking about KEITH RICHARDS, the word “ROCK” refers to his LIVER….
12. over seven million people tuned in for the second season of AMC’S “THE WALKING DEAD”, which is a drama about zombies….another two million people tried to watch the show but eventually found out they were watching the republican presidential debate….
13. JOKE OF THE DAY:
An American man, a Russian man, and an African man were all up in a hot-air balloon together. After a few minutes, the Russian man put his hand down through the clouds.
“Aaah!” he said. “We’re right over my homeland.”
“How can you tell?” asked the American.
“I can feel the cold air,” he replied.
A few hours later the African man put his hand through the clouds. “Aah we’re right over my homeland,” he said.
“How do you know that?” asked the Russian.
“I can feel the heat of the desert.”
Several more hours later the American put his hand through the clouds. “Aah, we’re right over New York.”
The Russian and the African were amazed. “How do you know that?” they exclaimed.
The American pulled his hand up. “My watch is missing.”
HAVE AN AWESOME WEDNESDAY EVERYBODY…