HAPPY THURSDAY EVERYBODY!! ONE DAY CLOSER TO THE WEEKEND!!
HERE ARE YOUR THURSDAY FUNNIES!!!
1. happy 72nd birthday wishes are going out to former MONTY PYTHON member JOHN CLEESE….remember him? he’s the guy in the middle of the front row….
in addition to MONTY PYTHON, JOHN CLEESE has starred in such movies as “A FISH CALLED WANDA,” “RAT RACE”, a couple of HARRY POTTER movies, and he’s the voice of “KING HAROLD” in the “SHREK” movies….he would be FIONA’S papa…
here is JOHN CLEESE today on his 72nd birthday…
AND THIS IS PRETTY COOL…
the gang from “MONTY PYTON” reunited for a picture last year….
back row is ERIC IDLE, JOHN CLEESE AND MICHAEL PALIN…
front row is TERRY JONES AND TERRY GILLIAM….
2. remember tv personality JAYNE KENNEDY? she was crowned MISS OHIO back in 1970, and was one of the semi-finalists for MISS AMERICA….
she is the first woman to dig into the man’s world of the NFL…she helped co-host and do sideline reporting for the NFL TODAY…
this seems kind of crazy, but JAYNE KENNEDY turns 60 today…yep…sixty….here she is today…
3. big tv news today…
TONIGHT IS THE RETURN OF “BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD” TO MTV!!!
when this show was first on MTV, i was NOT a fan….probably because my boys were small and they definetly could not watch it…but, as time goes on, i’ve grown to appreciate the show, and even laugh at the stupid antics that they knuckleheads do…..
the show has been missing from tv for awhile, but will debut again, tonight at 9:00 our time on MTV….i’m probably going to set the DVR….
4. okay, here’s my question for today…..if a huge group of deer are up running when i’m going to work out in the morning at 3:30am, shouldn’t they be tired in the afternoon and evening? that would mean staying the heck off the roads all day long…..geez..don’t they need 8 hours of sleep like everybody else?
5. KANSAS is performing tomorrow night at the DAKOTA MAGIC CASINO near HANKINSON, N.D…..just a short drive from here…as i mentioned yesterday, my boys and i are going…hope to see you there…here’s another video by the guys…
this is “POINT OF NO RETURN.”
6. alright, these are GUARANTEED to make you laugh…here are some tv news bloopers…
THESE ARE SO GOOD…
7. a man from PENNSYLVANIA admitted to making over FOUR HUNDRED lewd prank phone calls in ONE DAY…police don’t know whether to put him in jail, or get him a job in radio….
8. MUAMMAR GADDAFI reported had 200 billion dollars stashed away….most of it from working his side job as an avon representative….
9. it has now been confirmed that AEROSMITH lead singer and AMERICAN IDOL judge, STEVEN TYLER, slipped in the shower and had several teeth knocked out….he confirmed it himself when he said, “yeth….it’th true.”
10. according to a coroner’s report, singer AMY WHINEHOUSE died from drinking too much booze…SHOCKING, HUH? that’s why doctors always warn you not to mix scotch, bourbon, tequila, gin, vodka, rum, whiskey and tickle pink wine….
11. as i mentioned yesterday, TMZ.COM is reporting that LINDSAY LOHAN is not doing a discreet teasing shoot for PLAYBOY, but a full frontal and rear shoot that shows EVERYTHING…to LINDSAY it’s no big deal…she’s been strip searched so many times that it’s now normal to her….
12. it’s estimated that 400 jobs have already been lost because of the NBA lockout…most of them are tattoo artists, hookers, and drug dealers…
13. one of JOHN LENNON’S teeth will be auctioned off next month, and it’s expected to go for around $15,000 dollars….i’m sure he lost it from gritting his teeth everytime that YOKO ONO was singing…
14. a performance artist gave LIVE BIRTH to her first child in front of an audience in a BROOKLYN art gallery….the crowd went crazy with applause, and then started booing when there was no encore…
15. JOKES OF THE DAY:
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
“Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!”
“Very good,” said her mother.
“Is it because I’m blonde?” the girl asked.
“Yes, it’s because you’re blonde,” said her mother.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. “Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!”
“Very good,” said her mother.
“Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy?”
“Yes, it’s because you’re blonde.”
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. “Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!” And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
“Very good,” said her embarrassed mother.
“Is it because I’m blonde, mommy?”
“No Honey, it’s because you’re 24.”
OKAY, HOW ‘BOUT THIS ONE …
There is a blonde, a redhead and a brunette on the stairway to heaven.
God says, “There are 3,000 steps and I’ll tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. If you laugh you go to hell.”
So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. God tells a joke, the brunette laughs and goes to hell.
Then on the 2,000th step God tells a joke, the redhead laughs and goes to hell.
On the 3,000th step God tells a joke, the blonde doesn’t laugh and she proceeds to the gate.
Suddenly, she bursts out laughing.
God asks, “What are you laughing about?”
She replies, “I just got the first joke!”
HAVE A GREAT THURSDAY…