random thoughts for tuesday february 28th, 2012



1.  here come your tuesday funnies…

i know i’ve used this one before, but it’s just too good….

the next one is HILARIOUS…

seems EVERYBODY is on facebook these days…

2.  the great actor CHARLES DURNING turns 89 today…he has appeared in many movies including “DOG DAY AFTERNOON”, “THE STING”, “THE BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE IN TEXAS”, and he starred with BURT REYNOLDS in the tv show “EVENING SHADE.” 

here’s CHARLES DURNING today on his 89th birthday…

3.  happy birthday wishes are also in store for actress BERNADETTE PETERS…she is a very beautiful 64 today…and still lookin’ good…

she is known for being a singer, actress, and broadway star, too….but, quite possibly her most famous role was playing opposite STEVE MARTIN in the classic movie “THE JERK.”

man oh man, BERNADETTE PETERS still looks great at 64….

4.  a recent HARRIS poll asked people who their favorite news personalities were….guess who won?


my favorite news personality?


who was voted the least favorite news personality? no big suprise…


my least favorite so called “news” person?  the incredibly horrible NANCY GRACE…SHE GETS 100 PERCENT OF MY VOTE…

she got 7 percent of the “favorite”, but 23 percent of the “least favorite.” 

my suggest?

BRING BACK THE GHOST OF WALTER CRONKITE….in my opinion, the most trusted, and BEST NEWS GUY EVER….

5.  well, the snowblower is tuned up, tires filled, and i even had it running yesterday…BRING IT ON OLD MAN WINTER!  SHOW US WHAT YOU HAVE!!!  (i’ll probably regret saying that)

6.  some people never learn….ICE DOES NOT MAKE A GOOD PARKING SPOT….participants in an annual ice fishing contest in WISCONSIN were left trying to find rides home, after 36 VEHICLES WENT THRU THE ICE….THIRTY SIX!!   four vehicles were submerged more than halfway, 18 were partially under water, and 14 other ones sank enough to damage the engines….officials said that they warned everybody, and apparently nobody listened…

7.  CHELSEA CLINTON turned 32 yesterday..to put that in perspective, her college friends are now too old for her dad to hit on…

8.  the DISCOVERY CHANNEL aired a show where scientists speculated how dinosaurs mated…..they think it was either during a CHER concert, or a JOAN RIVERS comedy show….

9.  a man from EAGAN, MINNESOTA was arrested for shoplifting for allegedly trying to leave a store with a 19 inch tv in his pants….and being a man, he claimed it was a 36 inch tv….

10.  reaction continues to the OSCARS and mostly negative reviews of the broadcast….BILLY CRYSTAL would be bummed about it, if his face allowed him to show any emotions…

11.  RICK SANTORUM said on sunday that he does not believe in the separation of church and state…however, he’s adamant about never mixing peanut butter and chocolate….

12.  celebrity attorney GLORIA ALLRED sent an e-mail alerting the media that she would be attending the OSCARS, but accidentally sent the e-mail with all of her addresses showing, revealing all of her media contacts…i don’t know, i think that GLORIA is losing it….after the award show, she sent a congratulatory message to MERYL STREEP for winning record of the year for “ROLLING IN THE DEEP.”


A man walks into a tavern and sees a man with a pig sitting on the bar in front of him.
    He sits on a stool next to the guy with the pig and asks, “What’s with the pig?”
    The guy takes a harmonica out of his pocket and starts playing it. The pig dances a jig up and down the bar. When the guy put the harmonica away, the pig ran down the bar and sat in front of him again.
    The man was dumbfounded. He says, “I’ve never seen anything like that in my life. How long did it take you to train the pig to do that?”
    The guy tells him, “I trained him six hours a day for two years.”
    The man says, “SIX HOURS A DAY FOR TWO YEARS? Isn’t that a terrible waste of time?
    The thinks a minute and replies, “Yeah, I guess so, but what’s time to a pig?”



random thoughts for monday february 27th, 2012



1. here come your monday funnies…..

i know i used this one before, but it’s HILARIOUS…

i also LOVE this next one…

GROSS…but funny….

2.  happy birthday wishes are going out to a beautiful legend…JOANNE WOODWARD turns 82 years old today…..she was such a beauty….

KIM KARDASHIAN and others should take a few notes from JOANNE WOODWARD and her hubby…she, of course, was married to PAUL NEWMAN….and they were a happy hollywood couple…for many many years…PAUL NEWMAN died back in 2008…here is the happy couple many years ago, and before PAUL passed away…

and here’s JOANNE WOODWARD recently as she celebrates birthday number 82 today….


3.  if you know me, you know that my radio show and radio personality is a take off of JOHNNY FEVER on “WKRP IN CINCINNATI”….actor HOWARD HESSEMAN played the wild and wacky character back in the 80’s….he is celebrating birthday number 72 today….remember him?

here’s HOWARD HESSEMAN recently….

4.  “WKRP IN CINCINNATI” is one of my all time favorite shows…definetly in the top five…so, let’s check in on the rest of the cast…



LONI ANDERSON played the office hottie “JENNIFER MARLOWE”  she is now 66 years old…

LONI is pretty, but i would have taken JAN SMITHERS who played “BAILEY QUARTERS” on the show…she was a beautiful ‘down to earth’ girl….

you don’t see a lot of JAN SMITHERS anymore, but i did find a recent picture…she is now 62…..

actor GORDON JUMP played the boss ARTHUR CARLSON…you might remember him, also, as the MAYTAG REPAIRMAN on the tv commercials….

GORDON JUMP died back in 2003 at the age of 71….

GARY SANDY played the program director ANDY TRAVIS on the show…he is now 66 years old…

FRANK BONNER played the nerdy salesman HERB TARLEK…he will turn 70 TOMORROW…SEVENTY…wow….

TIM REID played the wacky VENUS FLYTRAP on the show…he is now 67….

and finally, actor RICHARD SANDERS played the neurotic news guy, and SILVER SOW AWARD WINNER,  LES NESSMAN….he is now 71 years old…

5.  and our MORON OF THE DAY award goes to so-called actor SACHA BARON COHEN best known for playing “BORAT.”  well, his newest movie is called “THE DICTATOR”, which he stars as the dictator “ADMIRAL ALADEEN”….last night on the OSCARS, in which he had his tickets taken away, SACHA BAREN COHEN used the show to promote his new movie…BIG SUPRISE…and, he ended up torking off RYAN SEACREST…and i don’t blame RYAN at all…check this out….



6.  the weather will be changing…we have a BLIZZARD WATCH in effect tuesday thru wednesday night…this will most likely change to a BLIZZARD WARNING by tomorrow morning…stay tuned to find out if it, indeed does…the NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE says that we could receive maybe a foot of snow, up to 18 inches of show, strong winds, and very hazardous travel…BE CAREFUL OUT THERE FOLKS…

7.  on saturday night, JEANNIE AND I went to see the new PAUL RUDD AND JENNIFER ANISTON movie “WANDERLUST”…we didn’t especially want to see this one, but it was, by far, the best looking movie at the theaters this weekend…what did we think?  eh, it was “OKAY.”   it deals with the two stars joining a “commune type place” where their living styles change dramatically…..it has lots of sexual inuendo, and horrible language in parts of the movie…plus a nude man, and you see his junk…..if this stuff offends you and you still go, YOU WERE WARNED….

8.  JOHN EDWARD’S mistress RIELLE HUNTER reached a legal settlement for the return of their sex tape, so it can be destroyed and never seen….it was a pretty big settlement…everybody on earth contributed to the fund…

9.  a new study shows that it’s a horrible idea for people who have broken up to get back together…why on earth didn’t this study get released BEFORE the NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK reunion?

10.  the british magazine “THE BOOKSELLER” named “cooking with poo” as a finalist for the most bizarre book title of the year…by the way “poo” is the thai word for “crab.”  or at least they hope it is….

11.  JEREMY EVANS of the UTAH JAZZ won the NBA slam dunk contest on saturday….he did an alley-oop, two ball dunk while jumping over a teammate….he was in the air so long that he had time to marry KIM KARDASHIAN….

12.  police in MADISON, WISCONSIN, arrested a middle aged man after he pretended to be a general manager of  a DENNY’S restaurant and proceeded to cook his own burgers and fries…let me get this straight….he could have chosen any fantasy he wanted, and he chose to cook at a DENNY’S?


An investment counselor went out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, so she began interviewing young lawyers.
     “As I’m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of the first applicants, “in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question.” She leaned forward. “Mr. Peterson, are you an honest lawyer?”
     “Honest?” replied the job prospect. “Let me tell you something about honesty. Why, I’m so honest that my father lent me fifteen thousand dollars for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case.”
     “Impressive. And what sort of case was that?”
     The lawyer shifted in is seat and replied, “He sued me for the money.”





on friday morning’s “morning party”, i had a harris poll on tattoos…as you probably know, i have two of them, AND I’M ONE OF THE LAST PEOPLE EVER THAT WOULD GET A TATTOO….

anyway, here are some of the stats….

50 percent of those polled said that people with tattoos are more rebelious…

45 percent of those polled say that people with tattoos are less attractive….

39 percent of those polled say that people with tattoos are less sexy….

on the other hand…

86 percent of those who have a tattoo have NO REGRETS about getting them…


i have no regrets…i am not sexy…am not attractive, and am not rebelious…..so, is the poll right?  i don’t know…ha ha…i’m confused right now…

anyway, if you have never seen my tattoos, here they are…

my favorite one:


they say that once you get a tattoo, you always want more…and it’s true….i kind of would like another one…but it’s more important to keep peace at home…ha ha

random thoughts for FRIDAY february 24th, 2012




1.  here come your friday funnies!!!


2.  happy birthday wishes are going out today to actor ABE VIGODA who turns 91 today…and still acting…how about that?  there’s no way in heck you will find me working at 91…you probably won’t even find me ALIVE at 91…ha ha….ABE VIGODA starred in “BARNEY MILLER” and on his own tv show “FISH.” 

do you remember the “snickers” commercial that ABE did recently?  here it is….BETTY WHITE is also in it…


here’s ABE VIGODA today at 91….lookin’ good!!

3.  legendary 50’s and 60’s star FATS DOMINO will turn 84 years old on sunday…i’m sure you remember this guy….he had the smash hit “BLUEBERRY HILL.”

here’s FATS DOMINO recently……

4.  c’mon…we can’t celebrate FATS DOMINO’S birthday without some of his music…

here’s the all time classic “BLUEBERRY HILL.”


and how about this classic…”AIN’T THAT A SHAME.”


5.  i continue to hear from you wonderful people that ready my blog all the time….yesterday i received e-mails from a former VEBLEN classmate in OLIVEHURST, CALIFORNIA, plus a pastor in UPSTATE NEW YORK, who uses my jokes for his sermons…how about that?  i also heard from a wonderful listener/blog reader in FAULKTON, S.D., plus a nice lady from OTTAWA, ONTARIO, CANADA….awesome…

i would like to know where you read the blog from…e-mail me at this address…



6.  what a horrible day for BLOOMINGTON, MINNESOTA eighth graders….it was the movie “STAND BY ME” in real life…these students were on a field trip to a conservation area, when they stumbled across a dead body of a man who had killed himself…after they found the body, the teacher took the kids back to school, where counselors met with students who were scarred by that incident…i can’t even IMAGINE coming across something like that…

7.  the OSCARS are sunday night…i’m hoping for a big night for one of my favorite movies of the year….”THE HELP.”

if you have never seen this movie, buy it or rent it before sunday night…it is INCREDIBLE…and it’s a very sad part of our nation’s history…

8.  competing with the ACADEMY AWARDS on sunday night is the NBA ALL STAR GAME…so, you have to choose between ‘dunks’, and ‘drunks.’

9.  a new report estimates that 75 percent of AMERICANS will be overweight or obese by 2020…on the bright side, there may not be as many people needing birth control…

10.  PARIS HILTON released a single from an upcoming album, and the lyrics are all about sexting when you’re drunk…oh well, write what you know!!

11.  JAMIE LEE CURTIS appeared on CBS’S “NCIS’ as MARK HARMON’S love interest, and it drew huge ratings…and there’s lots of sexual tension….and who’s sexier than a woman who sells yogurt that helps you go to the bathroom?



One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. “So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?” they ask.

“It’s pretty nice,” she replies. “Except they won’t let you fart!



random thoughts for thursday february 23rd, 2012


here come your thursday funnies….

i always loved this one….

have you ever felt like this?

2.  “wildman” PETER FONDA is turning 72 years old today….you probably remember him from the movie “EASY RIDER.”

PETER, of course, if the son of the famous HENRY FONDA…i’m sure you remember HENRY…

he is also the brother of JANE FONDA…

and he is the father of actress BRIDGET FONDA…

here’s actor/director PETER FONDA today at 72…

3.  my son MITCHELL and I were watching the game show “MATCH GAME” the other night….I LOVE THAT SHOW…anyway, it got me wondering whatever happened to CHARLES NELSON REILLY….

before “MATCH GAME”, CHARLES starred as “HOODOO” on the saturday morning tv show “LIDSVILLE.”  here he is in character, and with “WITCHYPOO” from the show…

CHARLES NELSON REILLY was a drama teacher, broadway star, actor, producer, and funnyguy….very very talented man…

unfortunately, he died in may of 2007 at the age of 76…here he  is in his later years…

4.  well, i did something yesterday that i have never done before…i was driving around ABERDEEN yesterday, when a young lady drove by me AND GAVE ME THE FINGER….no, not the thumb, the middle finger..ha ha…..this is the part i have never done before…i chased her down…followed her until she stopped and asked what the heck she gave me the bird for…..she said that i was going too slow and she was in a hurry…i asked her “umm…did you realize that a car was turning the corner in front of me?”  she apologized and we both went on our way…..stuff like that ticks me off when i didn’t do anything wrong…if i did something wrong in my driving, fine…but this wasn’t the case….

5.  i continue to hear from people who read the blog from a long ways away…I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU…if you read the blog, let me know where you are reading it from…just e-mail me at:


yesterday, i heard from people in INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA, COLUMBUS, OHIO, RIPON, WISCONSIN, and next door to our radio station…(thanks, you wild man..ha ha)


6.  in all the hustle and bustle of ASH WEDNESDAY, i forgot to have someone put ashes on my head.  i was so busy taking care of the congregation, that i forgot to take care of me….oh well, live and learn…

7.  the WHITE HOUSE is predicting that there will be two million more jobs created in 2012….among the new creations….

***people to make those specimen cups due to MANNY RAMIREZ’S return to baseball.

***marriage counselors for KIM KARDASHIAN.

***people to drive beside me, behind me, and in front of me to help chase people who flip me off….

8.  there is an increase in exercise facilities being built within airports across the country….and right after a hard workout, you can get a deep tissue massage by a TSA agent…

9.  on tuesday an ARIZONA man let his gun discharge while he was in a bathroom stall at WAL-MART…it was a mistake..he thought he was at TARGET…

10.  the bulldog that was featured on the MTV reality show “THE OSBOURNES” has died…you remember the bulldog, right? he was the one that was easier to understand than OZZY….

11.  a new sports league is forming in which players try to stop the man carrying the ball by zapping him with A TASER…this wouldn’t work in the NFL…most of those players have been zapped with so many tasers that they are immune to them…

12.  doctors say that people who squeeze themselves into too-tight jeans are creating a health hazard…yep….THEY’RE MAKING THE REST OF US SICK…


Every night after dinner, Harry took off for the local watering hole. He would spend the whole evening there and always arrive home, well inebriated, around midnight. He usually had trouble getting his key to fit the keyhole and couldn’t get the door open. And, every time this happened, his wife would go to the door and let him in. Then, she would proceed to yell and scream at him for his constant nights out and coming home in a drunken state. But Harry continued his nightly routine.
     One day, the distraught wife was talking to a friend about her husband’s behavior. The friend listened and suggested, “Why don’t you treat him a little differently when he comes home? Instead of berating him, why don’t you give him some loving words and welcome him home with a kiss? Then, he might change his ways.”
     The wife thought that this might be a good idea.
     That night, Harry took off again after dinner. And, at about midnight, he arrived home in his usual condition.
     His wife heard him at the door. She quickly opened it and let Harry in. Instead of berating him as she had always done, this time she took his arm and led him into the living room. She sat Harry down in an easy chair, put his feet up on the foot stool, and took his shoes off. Then, she went behind him and started to cuddle him a little.
     After a short while, she whispered to Harry, “It’s pretty late, dear. I think we should go upstairs to bed now, don’t you think?”
     Harry replied in his inebriated state, “Heck, I guess we might as well. I’ll get in trouble when I get home anyway!”




random thoughts for wednesday february 22nd, 2012


1.  here come your wednesday funnies….

heck, the next guy might as well keep playing if he keeps winning…ha ha

2.  we have a few celebrity birthdays today…ladies first…

the lovely DREW BARRYMORE turns 37 today…man, that makes us feel old…

here’s an early picture of DREW…

of course, we mostly know DREW BARRYMORE for her very cute performance in “E.T. THE EXTRA TERRESTRIAL.”

DREW BARRYMORE is stunning at 37….

3.  the legendary voice of “SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE” has a birthday today…DON PARDO has done the opening of SNL for EVERY EPISODE since they began back in the mid 70’s….how’s that for spectacular…and guess what?  HE’S 94 YEARS OLD TODAY…..yep…ninety four….and still moving…and still doing the announcing for the show…

DON PARDO has been announcing all of his life…his earlier credits include the original “JEOPARDY” with ART FLEMMING…

here’s DON PARDO today at 94…LOOKING GREAT…the first one is with SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE star FRED ARMISEN…

4.  and finally, actor PAUL DOOLEY is 84 today…he’s known for playing MOLLY RINGWALD’S dad in “SIXTEEN CANDLES”, plus he had other roles in great movies like one of my personal favorites “STRANGE BREW..THE ADVENTURES OF BOB AND DOUG MCKENZIE.”

here’s PAUL DOOLEY a few years back…this is from the movie “BREAKING AWAY.”

and here’s PAUL DOOLEY today at 84….

5.  i continue to be amazed from all the locations where people are reading my blog…in fact, i’m stunned….just in the last few days, i have received e-mail from JACKSONVILLE, FLORIDA, WASHINGTON, D.C., and AUSTRALIA…how about that? plus, i know some of my family members in LANCASTER, SOUTH CAROLINA read it too…and my cousin in NEW YORK CITY…i am humbled…

by the way, if you want to tell me where you’re reading the blog, just e-mail me:


6.  the gentleman from WASHINGTON, D.C. was kind enough to ask how my dad is doing….well, here’s the latest report…he is home…still struggling a lot, but at least he’s home…….trouble walking because of his knee,  heart troubles, and a few other deals….and he’s only 67…..he’s had a tough road the past 10 years, but the man upstairs wants him here, so we’re glad for that….

7.  today is GEORGE WASHINGTON’S birthday…and there has never ever been another politician like him….someone who couldn’t tell a lie…

8.  a service dog group in AUSTIN, TEXAS, is attempting to make the world’s biggest ball of dog hair….they’re going to have some tough competition from my friend’s couch…

9.  KERMIT THE FROG and MISS PIGGY will be presenters at the OSCARS this year….and when you think of all the plastic surgery HOLLYWOOD stars have had, these two puppets may be the most real looking presenters on stage that night!!

10.  basketball phenom JEREMY LIN is denying rumors that he is dating KIM KARDASHIAN…why?  we assume that he prefers a woman who hasn’t been slam dunked more than his basketball…

11.  RACHAEL RAY has celebrated the 100th episode of her talk show….RACHAEL was toasted by guests like REGIS PHILBIN and ROSIE O’DONNELL…and then they got REALLY toasted when KATHIE LEE and HODA showed up…..


A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt came to his table and asked if he was ready to order, “What would you like, sir?”

He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, “A quickie.”

The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains her composure she returns and asks again, “What would you like, sir?”

Again the man thoroughly looks her over and, again, answers, “A quickie, please.”

This time her anger takes over. She reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding “SMACK!” and storms away.

A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers, “Um, Pal, I think it’s pronounced ‘quiche’.”



random thoughts for tuesday february 21st, 2012


1.  i wouldn’t change anything with my kids for ANYTHING IN THE WORLD…but, yet, this is hilarious…

i know who else needs glasses…a boy named TYLER…check this out….

we had a divorce funny for guys yesterday, so today’s the girl’s turn…enjoy girls!!!

and finally….


2.  “CAGNEY AND LACEY” star TYNE DALY turns 66 years old today…she starred with SHARON GLESS in the hit tv show back in the 80’s…..

here’s TYNE DALY today at 66…plus a picture of her co-star SHARON GLESS, who, by the way, is 68…..

3.  the young boy from “THE BLUE LAGOON” is 51 today….CHRISTOPHER ATKINS starred along with BROOKE SHIELDS in the hit movie….

here’s a flashback for all of you ladies…

here’s CHRISTOPHER ATKINS at 51…..

also….LOVE ME SOME BROOKE….i’ve always been in love with her…here she is today…she is 46 years old….


i have been singing this classic since sunday for some reason…..get ready to stroll down memory lane…here’s PAUL EVANS and “SEVEN LITTLE GIRLS”…..I KNOW YOU’LL REMEMBER THIS!!


5.  well, my blood pressure was up last night…BY ACCIDENT, i watched “ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT” last night…i avoid that show, because they have become so “tabloid.”  well, anyway, last night the lady that hosts it was talking about the WHITNEY HOUSTON funeral, and asked the reporter, “HOW IS WHITNEY’S DAUGHTER COPING…HOW DID SHE HANDLE THE FUNERAL?”  how the hell did you think she handled it? HER MOM DIED….geez…sometimes i’m embarrassed to be in the media world….

6.  well, today’s my last day of DIET PEPSI for a few weeks…i’m giving it up for LENT….i have never given anything up for LENT, but i talked my confirmation class into giving up something, too…and i’m so proud of my kids…they all gave up incredible things including cell phones, tv and video games….wow…anyway, for the next few weeks, all i will be able to do is stare at the following photo…

the last time i got off DIET PEPSI, i lost 15 pounds….hopefully i can stay off it permanently this time…although, i’m not holding my breath….

7.  this week marks the 50 year anniversary of JOHN GLENN orbiting the earth…to celebrate the event, the KARDASHIANS are letting the earth orbit around them….

8.  believe it or not, there’s a new subscription based channel to entertain dogs while their owners are gone…..all it is, is a constant picture of their master’s leg….

9.  LINDSAY LOHAN is reportedly very excited to be hosting SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE on march 3rd…..the SNL folks had better bring their “A-GAME”….i mean the cast too, not just security….

10.  british actress DAME JUDI DENCH, who plays “M” in the JAMES BOND movies, issued a statement clarifying her health condition.  she says, that contrary to the report, she is NOT going blind….she just has a eyesight problem that prevents her from reading scripts…hey, maybe that’s what NICOLAS CAGE has, too….

11.  a pediatric journal reports the rise of sex changes among young children….those darn kids will do ANYTHING to get both happy meal toys at MCDONALDS…..


A busload of politicians were driving down a country road when the bus suddenly ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer’s field.
     The old farmer heard the tragic crash so he rushed over to investigate. He then began digging a large grave to bury the politicians.
     A few hours later, the local sheriff was driving past the farmer’s field and noticed the bus wreck. He approached the old farmer and asked where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer explained that he’d gone ahead and buried all of them.
     “Were they ALL dead?” asked the puzzled sheriff.
     “Well, some of them said they weren’t,” said the old farmer, “but you know how them politicians lie.”



**remember, if you ever want to get a hold of me, just e-mail me at: