random thoughts for monday march 12th, 2012

HAPPY MONDAY EVERYBODY…

you had better be careful…i’ve been working out….

YEAH, RIGHT….

1.  here come your monday funnies…

okay, this makes sense….

my sick sense of humor has always allowed me to laugh at the next one…however, my wife sees no humor in it….

hhhmmm…i’ve always wondered about the following one…

2.  happy birthday wishes are going out today to the great LIZA MINNELLI..she turns 66 today….LIZA, of course, is the daughter of the legendary JUDY GARLAND who played “DOROTHY” on my favorite movie of all time, “THE WIZARD OF OZ.”

here’s LIZA MINNELLI in her starring role in “CABARET.”

here’s LIZA MINNELLI today at 66….

3.  remember “TIMMY” from the show “LASSIE”?  his name is JON PROVOST…he turns 62 today……

everybody remembers this little cutie…

here’s JON PROVOST today on his 62nd birthday…

4.  yesterday while trying to take a nap on the couch, i ran across the tv show “HOARDERS”…..that show is completely GROSS…i cannot even being to imagine how people can live in the man made hell that they are living in…..YUCK….

5.  well, i think the PEYTON MANNING saga is getting tiresome….the NFL NETWORK, and ESPN follows his every footstep…don’t get me wrong, PEYTON MANNING is one of the classiest, if not the most classiest guy in the NFL…my guess? he goes to the ARIZONA CARDINALS….

6.  short and sweet…BILL MAHER is a complete idiot..i cannot stand to listen to the sludge that he spews all the time….

7.  sounds like i missed one heck of a fight at the ABERDEEN WING’S game on saturday night….a bunch of guys were ejected, and from what i heard, fights broke out all over the ice…DANG IT…i don’t miss many games and then this happens….

8.  as you probably know, i gave up pop for lent, especially DIET PEPSI…things are going okay, but there are two things i cannot stand without DIET PEPSI…popcorn and pizza…..

9.  FORBES has released it’s annual list of billionaires….a lot of people don’t like how these people flaunt their wealth with big houses, fancy cars, full gas tanks…….

10.  passengers on a DELTA flight going from ATLANTA to NEW YORK CITY, were suprised when they saw a pair of penguins waddling down the aisle…i’ll be darned…penguins CAN fly….

11.  300 nude bicylists rode their bikes thru PERU to demand laws that protect bicylists….hmm..i would think that PANTS would be the first thing you would need to protect yourself….

12.  comedian DICK VAN DYKE has married make up artists ARLENE SILVER…he’s 86, she’s 40….there’s a 46 year age difference between them..or as HUGH HEFNER calls it “practically born on the same day…..”

13.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

     An older couple had a son, who was still living with his parents. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his career path, so they decided to do a small test.
     They took a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, hoping he would think they weren’t at home.
     The father told the mother, “If he takes the money he will be a businessman, if he takes the Bible he will be a priest, but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I’m afraid our son will be a drunkard.”
     So the parents took their place in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive home.
     He saw the note they had left, saying they’d be home later. Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket.
     After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it also.
     Finally, he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all the three items.
     The father slapped his forehead, and said: “Darn, it’s even worse than I ever imagined …”
     “What do you mean?” his wife inquired.
     “Our son is going to be a politician!”

HAVE A GREAT MONDAY, MY FRIENDS…

JAY DEAN


 

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