random thoughts for monday may 21st, 2012

BLAH!!!!!

1.  most importantly this morning, i want to tell you that ROBIN GIBB of the BEE GEE’S died yesterday at the age of 62….ROBIN had been sick with cancer for quite some time….

we’re going to feature ROBIN and his brothers this morning…..here is an early picture of ROBIN, MAURICE, AND BARRY GIBB…

here’s a great picture of the BEE GEES with their little brother, the late ANDY GIBB….

and here are a couple of pictures of ROBIN by himself…the first one is OBVIOUSLY during the disco era….

and as you can tell, cancer took it’s toll on ROBIN GIBB…

four GIBB brothers..only one left, and that’s brother BARRY….

rest in peace ROBIN GIBB…..

2.  here are a couple of songs by ROBIN GIBB and the BEE GEE’S..

here they are from a dvd made in LAS VEGAS, one of my favorite dvd’s in my collection…

this is ROBIN GIBB singing the big hit “I STARTED A JOKE.”

http://youtu.be/GeHZ5rJfnh4

ROBIN GIBB has a couple of solo hits back in the 80’s….the best one, and my favorite was “BOYS DO FALL IN LOVE.”

http://youtu.be/sqsM-rhF8Ns

3.  here come your monday funnies….

i agree with this one….

being a diehard “WIZARD OF OZ” fan, i loved this one…

sorry VIKING’S fans…i couldn’t resist…

4.  happy birthday wishes are going out today to singer LEO SAYER…he turns 64 today…..he is known for great hits like “WHEN I NEED YOU”, “YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE DANCING”, and many others….remember him?

here is LEO SAYER today at 64….

5.  here come a couple of LEO SAYER tunes…

this is “LONG TALL GLASSES”…title doesn’t sound familiar?  you WILL know the song…

http://youtu.be/QcJp1Z03DR0

and here is “YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE DANCING.”

http://youtu.be/iE-Okqna4sQ

6.  also, actor JUDGE REINHOLD has a birthday today…he turns 55 today…you probably remember him in the memorable role on “FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH.”

and here is JUDGE with EDDIE MURPHY and JOHN ASHTON in “BEVERLY HILLS COP.”

here is JUDGE REINHOLD today at 55…..

7.  JEANNIE AND I were super busy with graduations this weekend….we made it to WARNER and BRITTON HECLA, but we celebrated with some other friends as well….

we did, however, find time last night to finally see the movie “THE AVENGERS.” 

FANTASTIC MOVIE!!!  we laughed all the way thru it….humor, thrilling scenes, and all everything we had hoped for from our favorite super heroes….

ROBERT DOWNEY, JR., once again stole the show as “IRONMAN”, but also MARK RUFFALO added plenty of humor as “THE HULK.”  if you love comic book characters and super heroes, you don’t want to miss this one….

8.  three weeks from today we will be leaving for COLORADO for a week…it cannot get here fast enough….as i have mentioned before, burnout has set in…my vacation days so far this year have been used on church, my surgery, and my dad’s health…..this will be the only week of the year dedicated to my wife and kids…sad, huh?

9.  YANKEE CANDLE has launched a limited edition candle that smells like a MAN CAVE…yuck…..fart smells  and empty beer can smells sold separately….

10.  FLOYD CREEKMORE of GREAT FALLS, MONTANA is a retired circus clown who still performs for sick children thru the SHRINER’S….he is 95 years old, and has won a guiness record as the world’s oldest clown….oh, c’mon…check again…there HAS  to a clown that old in CONGRESS…

11.  DISNEYLAND TOKYO announced that they are going to allow same sex couples to get married in their theme park…so far, 4 of the 7 dwarfs have come out….

12.  MICK JAGGER was host and musical guest of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE over the weekend….usually when MICK is up for an hour and a half until 1:00am, it’s because of his prostate….

13.  “KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS” kicked off it’s seventh season last night on E! network, followed by the premiere of “MRS. EASTWOOD AND COMPANY”, which follows CLINT EASTWOOD’S wife and family….CLINT appeared briefly on the show, marking the very first time that someone showed up on a reality show that had AN ACTUAL JOB….

14.  a woman working at an ARBY’S in MICHIGAN, severed her finger which was then inadvertently served in a roast beef sandwich, and NOW the REAL fingerpointing begins….

15.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

A man, his wife, and mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there the mother-in-law passed away.
    The undertaker told them, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.00.”
    The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
    The undertaker asked, “Why? Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and spend only $150.00?”
    The man said, “A man died here over 2000 years ago, he was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance.” 

HA HA…GOOD ONE…

ENJOY YOUR MONDAY…

JAY DEAN

 

random thoughts for FRIDAY may 18th, 2012

YAY!!!!!

this weekend will be full of happiness and sadness as three people very close to me will graduate from high school…

my beautiful niece ERIN will graduate from WARNER HIGH SCHOOL on saturday…..she’s always been my sweety….(thanks to abby nelson photography for letting me use this)

BRITTON HECLA will have thier graduation on sunday….my cousin’s beautiful daughter SHANLEY will graduate…always loved that girl….

and my buddy KRIS from my church in HECLA will graduate sunday too…i struggled this past sunday having him up front with me for a blessing…..i’m in my 8th year at HECLA and watching these kids graduate after i’ve been with them so long is tough….

1.  how about your friday funnies?

this one cracked me up this morning….

boy, somebody has way too much time on their hands…check this out…it is funny, though….

2.  sad news yesterday…the “queen of disco” DONNA SUMMER died at the age of 63…..she had been battling cancer….i didn’t ever hear about her having cancer, so i was suprised to see that she passed away….

DONNA SUMMER dominated the disco and pop charts back in the 70’s and early 80’s, with hits like “DIM ALL THE LIGHTS, ” “HOT STUFF’, “MACARTHUR PARK”, “SHE WORKS HARD FOR THE MONEY”, “ON THE RADIO”, and many many more…

here are some early pictures of DONNA SUMMER including a couple of hit album covers of albums you may have in your collection….

here’s DONNA SUMMER in the last couple of years…R.I.P. DONNA…

3.  here are some more songs by DONNA SUMMER…you can go back to the previous post to hear a couple more songs…

here’s “ON THE RADIO.”

http://youtu.be/mXvIkBe2Ll8

and here’s “DIM ALL THE LIGHTS.”

http://youtu.be/TJrz1CTCWto

4.  speaking of music, this is hard to believe…country music super legend GEORGE STRAIT turns 60 today…yes, SIXTY…wow….this guy has been the most consistent hitmaker in country music history…almost everything he touches goes number one…

he’s huge on the concert scene, and WOMEN LOVE HIM…for obvious reasons…

i have met GEORGE STRAIT twice before, and i will tell you this…he is by far the nicest country star i have ever met…very genuine…

here’s GEORGE STRAIT in his early years…..in the early 80’s….

GEORGE STRAIT starred in the hit movie “PURE COUNTRY.”  critics dissed the movie saying that GEORGE was a horrible actor….i completely disagree…i thought he was superb and i thought the movie was INCREDIBLY GOOD…

here’s GEORGE STRAIT today at 60…including a picture without his hat on…you don’t see that often….

5.  how about a couple of GEORGE STRAIT songs?

here’s the theme song from “PURE COUNTRY.”  “I CROSS MY HEART.”

http://youtu.be/UnFs7SCI3ZM

i have so many songs that i like by GEORGE STRAIT, but this one is one of my favorites…..”LOVE WITHOUT END, AMEN.”  “live in concert” video…you’re welcome JANET and MOM…ha ha…

http://youtu.be/YrTidoW2Erc

6.  okay…here’s the deal….if you ever see me sitting in the theater watching the movie “THE DICTATOR” starring SACHA BARON COHEN, you have my permission to walk up and punch me in the face….YUCK…

i think this movie looks HORRIBLE…i did like SACHA BARON COHEN in “BORAT,” but his last movie “BRUNO”  was very offensive, and this one looks awful too….no thank you…

7.  a new study says that coffee drinkers live longer than non coffee drinkers…the bad news is, the extra years are spent in line at STARBUCKS…

8.  researchers say that a “laxative-free colonoscopy” is just as effective as current methods….they got the data by studying x-rays at airport security….

9.  another new study found that the economy is having negative effects on NASCAR…probably the biggest disappointment is when the drivers carpool…..

10.  NFL quarterback MICHAEL VICK has confirmed that he will be marrying his girlfriend june 30th in MIAMI…people get an unsettling feeling everytime he calls her “my pet.”

11.  the best selling children’s music band “THE WIGGLES” is undergoing a radical change…three of the four members are leaving the group…THANKS A LOT YOKO!!!

12.  ABC is considering a new “INCREDIBLE HULK” tv show….it will feature the green hero partying with SPIDERMAN and marrying KIM KARDASHIAN for 76 days….

13.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

this blonde went to the doctor with both of her ears burned…the doctor asked her what happened and she said, “well, i heard the phone ring, but i accidentally picked up the iron and answered it.”  the doctor couldn’t beleive what he heard…he then said, “so what about your other ear?”  and the blonde said, “well, shortly after that they called back.”

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND EVERYBODY…

JAY DEAN

 

random thoughts for thursday may 17th, 2012

WE’RE ONE DAY CLOSER…

1.  here come your thursday funnies….

hmmm…never thought of this…but it’s probably true…

a new twist to the serenity prayer….

hey, i know some people who fit under the next criteria….

2.  some sad news in our state yesterday…..a great servant of SOUTH DAKOTA has died…..former senator JIM ABDNOR died yesterday at the age of 89….he served SOUTH DAKOTA in congress, was also a lieutenant governor from 1969-1971.  he’s mostly known for unseating GEORGE MCGOVERN in the seat for congress….ABDNOR also served as head of the u.s. small business administration for two years under former president RONALD REAGAN…

here’s JIM ABDNOR in his congress years…

JIM ABDNOR was moved into hospice just a few days before his death at 89…..may GOD bless you JIM…and a greatful state thanks you for your service…

here he is later in life….

3.  soccer legend MIA HAMM turns 40 years old today….MIA scored more goals than anyone in the history of soccer, either male or female….she scored 158….

before i get to MIA HAMM, i have to share one of my favorite sports pictures of all time……remember BRANDI CHASTAIN?

here’s a younger picture of MIA HAMM…

here’s MIA HAMM today at 40…..

4.  i had only seen the show “SWAMP PEOPLE” only once, but everybody is talking about the sudden death of one of the stars MITCHELL GUIST….he died suddenly this week at the age of 47….what shocks me is that he was only 47…i figured for sure that he was in his upper 50’s to low 60’s….

check this out…

seriously, do i look that bad at 48?  i don’t think i do….just compare his picture to my most recent picture on my 48th birthday…

here it is….

that’s my story…and i’m sticking to it…..

5.  i’m having a ton of fun with our brand new sign at ST. JOHN’S in HECLA….i have a bunch of sayings i want to put on it in the next couple of years…i changed it last night to the following…

“UNDER SAME MANAGEMENT FOR OVER 2,000 YEARS.”

love it……

6.  i graduated from high school in LANGFORD thirty years ago this weekend….THIRTY YEARS…how the heck can that be?  i remember when my parents had their 30th school reunion, i thought they had one foot in the grave by that time…ha ha…i don’t think that way anymore…

7.  the defense has rested in the JOHN EDWARDS trial…they wanted to wrap things up before JOHN’S hairspray wore off….

8.  a watchdog group discovered that $1.5 million dollars in federal stimulus money went to study erectile dysfunction…..crap….SO SO SO MANY JOKES…SO LITTLE TIME….

9.  a man from WASHINGTON state was bitten by a snake in a WAL-MART parking lot…..man, that was one cranky greeter…..

10.  an electrical fire revealed over 400 pot plants in a SEATTLE restaurant….there was smoke EVERYWHERE…and then the fire started…

11.  officials in a JAPANESE city claim they’ve created the biggest public toilet in the world….or, as it’s known in NEW YORK CITY….a subway car….

12.  LINDA HOGAN has broken up with her much much younger boyfriend…..she could only take so many hours of watching “SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS.”

13.  in WISCONSIN a 350 pound man is picketing outside an all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant, protesting the fact that they cut him off his trips to the buffet table and wouldn’t let him eat all that he could….it’s actually a blessing in disguise….his picketing is the most exercise he’s gotten in decades….

14.  JOKES OF THE DAY…(at the expense of our older people..ha ha)

A handsome young man walks into a small pharmacy which is owned and run by two old spinster sisters
    The man says to the two old women, “Every time I see a woman, I get the urge to hug and kiss her, and to make mad, passionate love. Is there anything you can give me for this?”
    The two old women whisper to each other for a moment and then one of them replies, “How about $40 a week and the two-room flat above the shop.”

OKAY, HOW ‘BOUT THIS ONE …..

    An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, “Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a beautiful Rolex watch.”
    “But you are not wearing any of those things,” the artist said.
    “I know,” she said. “It’s in case I should die before my husband. I’m sure he would remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for all that jewelry.”

HAVE A TREMENDOUS THURSDAY…

JAY DEAN


 

random thoughts for wednesday may 16th, 2012

MIDWEEK….HUMP DAY….WEDNESDAY….WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT….THE ONLY THING I’LL SAY IS…WE’RE ONE DAY CLOSER TO THE WEEKEND…..

1.  here come your wednesday funnies….

this theater might want to watch which movies they book…they are going to SCAR kids for life!!!  ha ha….

i’m so glad i’m happily married…i don’t have to worry about the following….

this next sign gets a little personal…..AND DOWN TO THE DETAIL…

you have to admire the next sign for being honest….

2.  happy birthday wishes are going out to the beautiful young lady who played the daughter CAROL on “GROWING PAINS.”  the lovely TRACEY GOLD turns 43 today…..

TRACEY GOLD is still a beautiful woman…check her out….

3.  also, JANET JACKSON is having a birthday today…she turns 46…

did you know that JANET JACKSON played PENNY on “GOOD TIMES?”

JANET JACKSON is one of those naturally beautiful women….here she is today at 46…apparently trying to blend in with nature….

4.  yesterday while i was at PIERSON FORD broadcasting live, one of the employees was eating dinner and was eating bbq turkey meatballs….so, i bought some and tried them at home…DELICIOUS….we’ve become big fans of turkey products…mostly turkey burgers on the grill…good stuff….

5.  do you know what my new “kick” is?  watching women’s college softball on tv….yep….i would much rather watch the women play softball than the college men play baseball…it probably goes back to the fact that i could actually play softball….

6.  last night my beautiful wife and i watched the “live” episode of “30 ROCK” from a few weeks back…we hadn’t watched it yet, but it was HILARIOUS….ALEC BALDWIN and TINA FEY are fantastic at it because of all of their time on “SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE.”  plus other former and current cast members of “SNL” were in this live broadcast…

7.  well, a young lady from my church in HECLA made my day today on facebook…..she said that her young son apparently was listening intently to my sermon last sunday, because he implemented part of it…i did a mother’s day sermon, and i read a story about how GOD created women….and one of the items was that she had to have three sets of eyes to survive….last night, this young boy was going thru her mom’s hair and said, “i’m looking for that other pair of eyes.”  how awesome…and it wasn’t even my children’s sermon…it was my main one…..I LOVE MY CHURCH KIDS….

8.  a new survey finds that many pregnant women fear exercising…that explains it…i must be pregnant….

9.  NBC unveiled it’s new fall lineup….and there will be a show featuring cannibal HANNIBAL LECTER…c’mon people…don’t we already have enough cooking shows?

10.  NEW JERSEY tanning mom PATRICIA KRENTCIL said she would pose for PLAYBOY if they asked her….if not, she plans on modeling as a catcher’s mitt for RAWLINGS…

11.  on monday the OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER beat the LOS ANGELES LAKERS by 29 points…and i couldn’t be happier…the game was so bad that METTA WORLD PEACE elbowed HIMSELF in the head so he didn’t have to watch…..

12.  AAA predicts that more people will travel over the memorial day weekend this year because of a drop in gas prices…..there’s good news and bad news…the good news is that you won’t pay more for gas, the bad news is now the in-laws can afford to visit….

13.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

A hooded robber burst into a bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
    On his way out the door, a brave customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robbers face. The robber shot the customer without hesitation.
    He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him, also. Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, looked intently down
at the floor in silence.
    The robber yelled, “So, did anyone else see my face?”
    There were a few moments of utter silence in which everyone dared not speak.
    Then, one old farmer tentatively raised his hand and said, “My wife got a pretty good look at you.”

HAVE A GREAT HUMP DAY EVERYBODY…

JAY DEAN


 

random thoughts for tuesday may 15th, 2012

HEY, IT’S TUESDAY…AND APPARENTLY EVERYBODY IS EXCITED ABOUT IT….HA HA

wouldn’t that be TERRIFYING?

1.  here come your tuesday funnies…

this one is rude, but hilarious…

HMMM…never  thought about the following one..but it makes sense….

those stupid bugs wouldn’t  bother me so bad if the next one were true….

2.  today we’re going to find out whatever happened to actor TOM HULCE….he played memorable characters in some very good movies….

he played the toga wearing innocent young man in “ANIMAL HOUSE.”

he also starred in “AMADEUS.”

and he starred as the spoiled rotten son of JASON ROBARDS in the hit movie “PARENTHOOD.”

i wouldn’t recognize TOM HULCE if i saw him on tv today…he is now 58 years old and looks like this….

3.  we’ll also check in on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE original GARRETT MORRIS….

he played the baseball star CHICO ESUELA, who had the line “base-a-ball been berry berry good to me.”

he also had a hilarious part of the news, when CHEVY CHASE would have the news for the “hard of hearing.”  GARRETT MORRIS would come on and SCREAM the top headline…good stuff…

GARRETT MORRIS is now 75 years old, and is still making appearances on tv shows…here he is today…

4.  everybody knows that i’m a fan of the MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES when it comes to the NBA…well, now that the T-WOLVES are once again out of the playoff picture, i need to find another team to pull for if i’m going to watch some games…i decided before the playoffs began that it would be the OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER…i love KEVIN DURANT….anyway, i’m an even bigger fan of them since they crushed the LOS ANGELES LAKERS last night by 29 points…..i’m not a LAKER’S fan at all…never have been…and i love when they get beat….i would LOVE if the THUNDER would win this series 4 games to none….we’ll see….

5.  i decided to go to a movie yesterday…..i’m a little different than some people..i don’t mind going to movies by myself…and i was REALLY by myself…i was the only one in the theater…

yesterday i decided to see the movie “AMERICAN REUNION.”  it’s the gang from the “AMERICAN PIE” series coming back for thier class reunion…i about split a gut laughing….

very very funny, but very very crude in some parts…some nudity, lots of swearing….and if you want to see it, you’d better hurry…IT ENDS THIS WEEK…..

6.  i went out and took a long walk last night for the first time since my hernia surgery….it went pretty well, but i did have some uncomfortable feelings in that section when i got home…i have a feeling that softball is out for the summer…which doesn’t bother me…i’m getting too old and too fat to play anyway….ha ha….

7.  WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY in ST. LOUIS is seeking volunteers for an obesity study…you must be willing to gain weight by eating nothing but food from MCDONALD’S, BURGER KING, TACO BELL, KFC, and PIZZA HUT…or as i call them…college students….

8.  a man in a small town in ITALY accidentally got elected mayor….accidentally?  yep….he didn’t campaign and never gave one speech…NO WONDER HE GOT ELECTED….

9.  KIM KARDASHIAN tweeted a photo of herself with a spray tan, adding that tanning mom PATRICIA KRENTCIL “has some serious issues.”  just to be clear, KIM would never drag some poor naive kid into a tanning booth….a marriage maybe, but not a tanning booth….

10.  representative PETER KING, the chairman of the house homeland security commission, says he refuses to personally meet with one of the COLUMBIAN hookers at the center of the secret service scandal…he says he doesn’t want to provide her with any more cheap publicity……plus she may recognize him….

11.  police in FORT LEE, NEW JERSEY, will soon be handing out $85 dollar tickets for texting while walking…..OMG….

12.  JAPANESE researchers now say that JAPAN’S low birthrate means that the JAPANESE could be extinct in 1,000 years…that’s roughly the same lifespan as my student loan….

13.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

The teacher gave an assignment to her fifth grade class :
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.

But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left.
“Janie, do you have a story to share?’

”Yes ma’am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.

She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.

”Good Heavens,’ said the horrified teacher. ‘What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?

“Stay away from Mommy when she’s drunk.”

HAVE A TERRIFIC TUESDAY MY FRIENDS…

JAY DEAN

random thoughts for monday may 14th, 2012

YEP…I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH GARFIELD….

1.  here come your monday funnies….

how about some mother’s day humor…..

this next one is HILARIOUS…

i really don’t doubt the next one…

2.  i was singing along with a couple of LINDA RONSTADT songs over the weekend, and figured we should feature her on the blog today….

LINDA RONSTADT has been around since the 60’s cranking out tons of hits……here she is in her younger years….

my favorite pictures of LINDA are from one of her album covers where she’s getting ready to rollerskate….

LINDA RONSTADT is now 65 years old…here she is today…

3.  how about a couple of LINDA RONSTADT songs?

this one is an old BILLY JOE ROYAL song called “I KNEW YOU WHEN.”

http://youtu.be/ECNh5-19CXg

here’s an early classic “DIFFERENT DRUM.”

http://youtu.be/s3Nq48sHF8M

the biggest song of LINDA RONSTADT’S career was “YOU’RE NO GOOD.”

http://youtu.be/haZPPBJC8Ic

4.  we’re also going to feature singer/actor PAT BOONE today…PAT BOONE has been around the music charts since the 50’s,  and still has an incredible voice….here’s an early picture of PAT BOONE…

PAT BOONE is now 77 years old…here he is today…

5.  here’s an oldie but a goodie from PAT BOONE… do you remember “LOVE LETTERS IN THE SAND?”

http://youtu.be/UHQ4MEpGiRo

6.  one month from today my family will be in COLORADO vacationing…trust me, it cannot get here fast enough…..i’m just dreaming of getting on the road at 4am on monday june 11th…..c’mon june, get here….

7.  we had a great mother’s day yesterday…my mom was in church in HECLA, so i had a chance to see her…and then yesterday, the boys and i took JEANNIE out for dinner and then we went mini golfing….JEANNIE AND I tied for first….we usually don’t like tying because we’re very competitive…ha ha..to be honest, i wish i would have been one stroke behind her so she could have won on mother’s day….i should have grabbed TYLER while he was figuring out the scores….

8.  TIME MAGAZINE is still getting some crap about their cover photo of a mom breastfeeding her child…..wow…TIME is pushing the limits….next month TIME will have a special edition of the U.S. economy where they’ll show a picture of CHINA nursing UNCLE SAM…..

9.  90 year old beautiful person BETTY WHITE has endorses PRESIDENT OBAMA for president….she’s hasn’t officially endorsed a president since she campaigned for GROVER CLEVELAND….

10.  yesterday was mother’s day…the one day of the year where the kids cook breakfast….it’s also the busiest day of the year for the fire department….

11.  ABC announced that next month it will devote all three hours of primetime to live coverage of an attempt by tightrope walker NIK WALLENDA to walk over NIAGARA FALLS….hey, make it interesting…have him texting while he’s doing it….

12.  NBC is bringing back “30 ROCK”, for a final 13 episode season next year…at the end of the series, LIZ LEMON will accept a job as the first female news producer at a small tv station in MINNEAPOLIS…oh wait…that’s the MARY TYLER MOORE show…

13.  JOKE OF THE DAY: (an all time favorite)

So this pirate walks into a bar, his old favorite – although he hasn’t been there in a while. Immediately the bartender notices him and says “Haven’t seen ya in a while, where ya been? You look terrible!”

“Huh?” said the pirate, “What do you mean?”

“Oy, you’ve got a wooden leg! What happened?” said the bartender.

“Well,” said the pirate, “Our ship was in a fierce sea battle, and me leg got hit by a cannon ball, but I’m fine now.”

“What about that hook? What happened to your hand?” again asked the bartender.

So the pirate explained, “We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. Me hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook… but I’m fine, really.”

“What about that eye patch?”

“Oh,” said the pirate, “One fine day at sea a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them crapped  in me damn eye.”

“You’re kidding,” said the bartender. “You couldn’t lose an eye just from bird crap.”

“It was me first day with the hook.”

HAVE A GREAT MONDAY…

JAY DEAN