THE WEEKEND IS IN SIGHT!!!  THE NEXT PICTURE WILL BE ME…

1.  here come your friday funnies!!!

this will ALSO be me this weekend…..

yep, it’s going to be a SCORCHER this weekend…so, here are some “hot” funnies…

love this next one….

this one is HILARIOUS…

HOWEVER, this is my favorite one today!!! i laughed out loud when i saw it!!!

2.  i’m really glad i’m married…..and after seeing the next one, I’M SUPER HAPPY THAT I’M MARRIED…..

3.  happy birthday wishes are going out on saturday to “MARRIED WITH CHILDREN” star DAVID GARRISON…he played the wimpy neighbor STEVE…..along with his pushy wife MARCIE….

DAVID GARRISON hits a milestone on saturday…he will turn 60…here he is today….

4.  do you remember actress KAREN BLACK?

she appeared in movies such as “EASY RIDER”, “NASHVILLE”, “AIRPORT 1975”, “THE GREAT GATSBY” and many more….

she will turn 73 on sunday…here’s what she looks like today….

5.  we have another milestone birthday on sunday…the great DAN AYKROYD will turn 60…wow….

of course, we all remember DAN hitting the scene as one of the original cast of “SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE.”

and we loved him in “GHOSTBUSTERS.”

here’s DAN AYKROYD today on the weekend of birthday number 60!!!!

6.  three new movies come out this weekend and i only plan on seeing one of them….

first of all, “MAGIC MIKE” comes out today….hell no!!  don’t care for CHANNING TATUM or seeing this movie…..

i’m not a fan of the “MADEA” movies, but the new one actually looks okay…doubt i will go though…..

HOWEVER, i am super excited to go to the movies tonight and see the debut of “TED.”

SETH MACFARLANE is the creator of “FAMILY GUY”,  and this is his first movie…the previews look hilarious….

http://youtu.be/ojdpYuEJOJ4

7.  diet experts say that having dessert at breakfast curbs your craving for sweets during the rest of the day….coming to a eatery near you…SNICKERS AND HERSHEY BAR OMELETS…..

8.  comedian ANDY DICK has checked into a drug and alcohol rehab for the tenth time!!!  and according to his punch card, this one is free…..

9.  earlier this month, a tiger that belonged to MICHAEL JACKSON died….what the heck? is CONRAD MURRAY out already?

10.  RADAR ONLIN reports that PARIS HILTON was the one who started a scuffle with a paparazzi outside a nightclub….PARIS attacked the guy and chased him…luckily for him, PARIS tripped over LINDSAY LOHAN who was passed out on the sidewalk….

11.  a new report says that each year 3.5 millon AMERICANS are sickened by pollution at the nation’s beaches….and from seeing grandpa’s in speedos…

12.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

a pastor announced that next sunday the “prison quartet” will be singing in church…..everybody looked around at each other confused…nobody had heard of that group….so, one lady stood up and said, “pastor, why do you call them the “prison quartet?”  and the pastor said, “because they’re always behind a few bars and looking for the right key.”

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND…

JAY DEAN

DON GRADY, who played one of the sons on “MY THREE SONS” has died from cancer at the age of 68……

he was also one of the original “MOUSEKETEERS”…..

here’s DON GRADY back on the show with his brothers, and a current picture of him….

and here he is with his other “MY THREE SONS” tv brothers….

by the way, the other two brothers on the show are REAL LIFE BROTHERS…

BARRY AND STANLEY LIVINGSTON….

 

HAPPY THURSDAY….

we begin with sad news…our prayers and thoughts go out to everyone in our country who are suffering from the wildfires….i am thinking mostly about my friends in the COLORADO SPRINGS, COLORADO area…..as you know, two weeks ago, we were out there on vacation, and now the area that we were in is on fire, and many people have lost their homes……

and yesterday we found out that some good friends were evacuated from their home, and the fire is less than five miles from their home….we were actually in their beautiful home for supper while were out there……i can’t even imagine what those folks are going thru…keep them in your prayers….

here are a  picture from that area in COLORADO….

i’m sure many of you have friends and neighbors who are suffering out there as well….we pray for them as well….

1.  okay, let’s lighten the mood with our thursday funnies…..

i love this one…..

OH, YOU CRAZY BLONDES…HA HA…

and finally, here’s what you get for sharing all of your secrets!!!

2.  happy birthday wishes are going out today to comedian JOHN BYNER…remember him?

he turns 75 today…here’s JOHN BYNER today…

3.  remember the young lady who played “STEPHANIE” on “ALL IN THE FAMILY?” 

her name is DANIELLE BRISEBOIS,  and she has birthday number 43 today….

here she is back on the show with “ARCHIE”, of course, played by CARROLL O’CONNOR….

and here she is today on birthday number 43……

4.  sometimes the easiest solution is right in front of you, yet you don’t see it….

case in point….

a young friend of mine told me recently, “i can’t get a good night’s sleep because my phone keeps going off from people texting me.”

GOOD GRAVY…ARE YOU KIDDING?  TURN THE STUPID THING OFF!!!

my phone gets shut off around 8:00 every night…..that way i can sleep, and if it’s majorly important they can call my home number….

5.  CHARLIE SHEEN’S new show “ANGER MANAGEMENT” has the season premiere tonight at 8:00 our time on FX….how ironic is it that it has that title and CHARLIE stars in it…some roles are just meant to be……

6.  a new survey says that 36 percent of AMERICANS believe in U.F.O’S….i do…i was at a nude beach one day and saw uranus…and a full moon…..

7.  i saw a recent poll of sports stars wives and who they would love to “cheat” with…is that what this world has come to?  we now have SURVEYS talking about people CHEATING?  i’m not too sure this world will ever turn around and head back in the right direction ever again….

8.  according to a NBC/WALL STREET JOURNAL poll, PRESIDENT OBAMA and MITT ROMNEY are in a dead heat for presidency….they are running neck and neck in the “ARE THESE SERIOUSLY THE ONLY CHOICES” category…..

9.  researchers are getting closer to understanding how apes think, and what they are thinking about…..and amazingly apes are smarter than humans…mainly because they don’t watch ‘THE KARDASHIANS.”

10.  the hacker who stole and distributed nude photos from SCARLETT JOHANSSON’S cell phone is facing over 60,000 dollars in restitution payments and five years in jail….plus the undying gratitude of millions of other men….

11.  research shows that muscular men are more likely to be sexist….the study was founded by MARIA SHRIVER’S new charity, “I MARRIED A MUSCLEBOUND BLOCKHEAD FOUNDATION.”

12.  the U.S. blood supply is dangerously low…so, for your own good don’t ride anywhere with LINDSAY LOHAN…

13.  singer RIHANNA was uninjured in a fire at her LONDON hotel….nevertheless, fireman after fireman stood in line to pat her down and offer mouth to mouth….

14.  JOKE OF THE DAY: HAVE A GREAT DAY EVERYBODY!!!

  
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When
asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade
listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
 
On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling
unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
 
 
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist
got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, embraced
and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow.
The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist
turned to the husband and said, ‘this is what your wife needs at least 3
times a week. Can you do this?’
 
‘Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.’
 
 
 
 
 

HAPPY HUMP DAY…OR HAPPY WEDNESDAY…it’s one week from the fourth of july…man, how time flies…..

1.  here are your wednesday funnies…..

love this one….

the next one has some truth to it…ha ha

and last but not least, a little truth….

2.  birthday wishes are going out today to former presidential candidate ROSS PEROT…he turns 82 today…he ran for president back in 1992…..

here’s ROSS PEROT today at 82…….

3.  actress JULIA DUFFY has a birthday today…she played the crazy STEPHANIE on “NEWHART.”

JULIA DUFFY turns 61 years old today….here she is recently…

and what about BOB NEWHART?  BOB is now 82 years old..here he is recently….

4.  and finally, the cute daughter ALLY on “EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND” turns 21 today…she’s actress MADYLIN SWEETIN…

here she is in the last couple of years…she’s pictured here with actor PETER BOYLE who played her grandpa on the show…..

5.  did you see PRESIDENT OBAMA get booed the other night?  it happened in BOSTON, when he made light of a BOSTON RED SOX star getting traded to his team, the CHICAGO WHITE SOX….the players name is KEVIN YOUKILIS, and he is beloved in BOSTON….check out the video…..

http://youtu.be/IBth4onC5ys

my favorite line is “change the color of your sox.”  meaning from RED SOX to WHITE SOX…that ain’t happenin’…..

6.  man, it’s great to see some of the roads getting patched up….the old WARNER road is tarred from ditch to ditch in some places, and there are places where the tar is even better than the actual road….i feel sorry for those that work on our highways…it’s a thankless job and you’re always having angry people to deal with…..i will just say to you guys and girls….GREAT JOB..KEEP IT UP….

7.  CHER is working with broadway producers on an autobiographical show…it will include different eras of CHER’S life…..like the 18th, 19th, and 20th centuries……

8.  RIELLE HUNTER announced that she’s split with JOHN EDWARDS…the news came as great relief to JOHN EDWARD’S other 12 girlfriends….

9.  CONDOLEEZZA RICE said she’s not interested in being MITT ROMNEY’S vice president because she hates politics so much….heck, she didn’t even run for student council president when she was in school….and come to think of it, student council presidents actually have more duties than the vice president….

10.  a new report find that vision problems are increasing among AMERICANS…most of them caused by the big video screen at MADONNA concerts showing her flashing her sagging body parts.

11.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

A man told the ringmaster that he was interested in joining the circus as a lion tamer. The ringmaster asked if he had any experience and the man said, “Why, yes. My father was one of the most famous lion tamers in the world, and he taught me everything he knew.”
     “Really?” said the ringmaster. “Did he teach you how to make a lion jump through a flaming hoop?”
     “Yes he did,” the man replied.
     “And did he teach you how to have six lions form a pyramid?”
     “Yes he did,” the man replied.
     “And have you ever stuck your head in a lion’s mouth?”
     “Just once,” the man replied.
     The ringmaster asked, “Why only once?”
     And the man said, “I was looking for my father.”

HAVE A GREAT WEDNESDAY…

JAY DEAN


 

HAPPY TUESDAY EVERYBODY….

1. here come your tuesday funnies…….

love this one…..

bacon, bacon, and MORE BACON…

i LOVE this next one….

2.  today we’re going to find out whatever happened to a few of your favorite olympic gymnasts…..

let’s start out with the great NADIA COMANECI….she is the first female gymnast to ever be awarded a perfect 10 on the uneven bars….she did it when she was FOURTEEN YEARS OLD in the 1976 summer olympics in MONTREAL…

remember her?

NADIA is now 50 years old…how about that?  here she is today….

3.  did you know that the theme from the soap opera “THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS” is called “NADIA’S THEME?”  it’s music that was used by her years ago…a couple of composers put together the music and it became the theme for the long running CBS soap opera….

here it is…..”NADIA’S THEME.”

http://youtu.be/Vlv32UEazGc

4.  the second gymnast i want to feature is “LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE”…i gave her that nickname…ha ha….it’s the always smiley MARY LOU RETTON….she is a gold medalist who was the first female gymnast from outside eastern EUROPE to win the all around title at the olympics……

MARY LOU RETTON is now 44 years old, and still a smiling beauty…

5.  and finally, let’s see whatever happened to KERRI STRUG…you probably remember that KERRI did the vault at the 1996 olympics in ATLANTA…and she did it with an injured ankle…she was a member of a group called “THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN.” 

you probably remember KERRI for being carried off the mat by her trainer……

KERRI STRUG is now 34 years old…here she is today….

6.  well, our church softball team is 0-4….lost again last night, but still having a fun time…that’s what church softball is about…fun and fellowship….

ever since ST. JOHN’S IN HECLA got into church softball in ABERDEEN, we have one stinkin’ inning per game where we fall to pieces…unfortunately, last night it was the 6th inning…we were only down 4-2 in the top of the 6th, and by the time the inning was over we were behind by ten runs….oh well, as all MINNESOTA VIKING’S fans say, “better luck next time.”  (oooh..that was low…even for me..ha ha)

7.  we are getting t-shirts made for our church kids for their trip to NASHVILLE a week from tomorrow….they’re going to be cool…here’s what they say….

“you may dislike me, but JESUS thinks I’M TOO DIE FOR!!”

i love that saying….shirts should be pretty cool!!!

8.  the last of it’s kind, 100 year old galapagos tortoise named “LONESOME GEORGE” died on sunday….to give you an idea how lonely this tortoise was, he was the only guy in the world to order the OCTOMOM’S sex tape….

9.  speaking of living to be older, YAHOO recently published an article giving tips on how to live to be 100….for instance, if you see LINDSAY LOHAN”S porsche coming up fast in your rear view mirror, you’re not going to see 100…..

10.  a heatwave is gripping much of the country…people are trying anything to stay cool….like this….believe it or not, people are actually going into the theater to see the ADAM SANDLER movie “THAT’S MY BOY.”  not to see the movie, just to enjoy the air conditioning….

11.  NBC is reportedly paying “TODAY” show host ANN CURRY $10 million dollars to leave….heck, i’d be willing not to appear on the “TODAY” show for half that amount….

12.  ELVIS PRESLEY’S crypt has been removed from auction…great, now what am i supposed to get the boss for his birthday?

13.  the boy band “WESTLIFE” says they have performed for the very last time….DO YOU PROMISE?

14.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
 
HAVE A GREAT TUESDAY…
 
JAY DEAN

WOW…EVEN THE CATS KNOW ABOUT TODAY….

1.  here are your monday funnies to tickle your funny bone…or wherever else you want to be tickled….

are you wondering what i’m drinking this morning?  oh, i think you know……

my new favorite vending machine….although i think it defeats the purpose being they cost a dollar….

the next one is funny, but in some relationships it has switched…ha ha…

LOVE THE NEXT ONE…and it’s true….

2.  hard to believe, but MICHAEL JACKSON and FARRAH FAWCETT have been gone for THREE YEARS TODAY…already three years….i have always felt sorry for FARRAH since that day…her death was certainly overshadowed by MICHAEL’S….

3.  “JEOPARDY” host ALEX TREBEK suffered a mild heart attack over the weekend….he’s expected to make a full recovery….by the way, he is 71 years old….

4.  one of my families favorite movies is 25 years old….which movie is it?  “SPACEBALLS.”  it’s a parody of “STAR WARS” and a few other movies…..hilarious movie…all four of us watch the movie and talk along with the movie……

the fantastic folks at toofab.com put together a compilation of what the stars look like today…..check out toofab.com…cool entertainment site…..

BILL PULLMAN played “LONESTAR”….he is now 58….

the beautiful DAPHNE ZUNIGA played “PRINCESS VESPA”…she is 49…..

JOHN CANDY played the man/dog character BARF…JOHN CANDY died back in 1994…he was only 43…….

JOAN RIVERS gave her voice to the robot DOT MATRIX…JOAN is now 79 years old…her face is 22…..

RICK MORANIS played the “DARTH VADER” type character “DARK HELMET.”  he actually makes the movie…very very funny….he is now 59…..

MEL BROOKS is the creator/producer/director of “SPACEBALLS.”   he played a “YODA” type character by the name of “YOGURT.”  MEL is now 85 years old….

DICK VAN PATTEN played KING ROWLAND…he is now 83….

character actor GEORGE WYNER played COLONEL SANDURZ…get it?  say the name out loud…….my favorite line for him was delivered by DARK HELMET….”what’s the matter colonel sandurz? chicken?”

and finally, JM J. BULLOCK played the sleepy prince “PRINCE VALIUM.”  JM is now 57…and no, i didn’t spell it wrong..he spells his first name JM…..as in “JIM.”

5.  okay, i went into the new movie “ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER” knowing it wouldn’t be an academy award winner…what i didn’t expect is how boring it was…it had it’s moments of excitement, but overall was pretty disappointing….

***how ironic…a VAMPIRE movie that SUCKED….(okay, that was bad.)

i heard and read a couple of reviews of people saying they were “disappointed” because of the “historical inaccuracies.”  NO KIDDING…GEEZ…how stupid can you be?  it’s about ABRAHAM LINCOLN being a VAMPIRE HUNTER….of course, there will be historical inaccuracies……c’mon people….

6.  huge night saturday night at the SHRINE MOSQUE in ABERDEEN…as you may recall, it was the reunion show for the band “PRECIOUS CARGO.”  big big crowd at the party…in fact, it was standing room only for quite some time…the band did great!!! for not playing together for years, they blended well…JEANNIE AND I especially loved the songs where the brass section was featured…

7.  researchers say the worst pests to have in your house are carpenter ants, bed bugs, and formosan termites….that is, if you don’t count in-laws…..

8.  a man from ARIZONA faces DUI chargers for having a blood alcohol level of .328…you heard right, .328….police said they smelled alcohol on the guy….from seven miles away….

9.  a clerk at the DEL TACO in HEMET, CALIFORNIA, was arrested for allegedly stabbing a customer in the stomach with a knife in a dispute over the guy’s food order….it wasn’t even a fair fight…all the customer had on his was a SPORK….

10.  an 8 year old rescue dog from the UK won the “WORLD’S UGLIEST DOG CONTEST.” he received $1,000 dollars in dog treats and a job in radio….

11.  PRINCE WILLIAM received a very large inheritance from PRINCESS DIANA for his 30th birthday…finally the kid can quit working and take it easy….

12.  the rumor is that ANN CURRY is about to be shown the door on the “TODAY” show…dang that JAY LENO…he can’t leave anything alone….

13.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like. The first vampire responds, “I vould like some blood.”

The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, “I vould like some blood.”

The waitress turns to the third vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, “I vould like some plasma.”

The waitress looks up and says, “Let me see if I have this order correct. You want two bloods and a blood light?”

HAVE A TERRIFIC MONDAY…..

JAY DEAN

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME IT’S HERE…..

1.  here come your weekend funnies!!!

THIS ONE IS HILARIOUS….

every married man can appreciate the next one…ha ha…

hmmm…the next one makes sense…never thought of it that way…

i know a couple of people who are flipping the next switch ALL DAY LONG….

2.  happy birthday wishes today are going out to singer/actor KRIS KRISTOFFERSON…he turns 76 today….

KRIS is truly one of the best songwriters in the history of music…he has written such legendary classics as “ME AND BOBBY MCGEE”, “HELP ME MAKE IT THRU THE NIGHT”, “WHY ME LORD?”, “FOR THE GOOD TIMES”, “SUNDAY MORNING COMING DOWN”, and many many more…..

here’s KRIS back in his younger years, including an album cover a lot of us had……

KRIS, as we have mentioned before,  was once married to singer RITA COOLIDGE….

here’s KRIS KRISTOFFERSON today at 76…….

3.  we HAVE to do some KRIS music today in honor of his birthday….here’s my favorite song by him…i have sung this in church before, and may have to do so again this sunday because of his birthday….

here’s “WHY ME LORD?”

http://youtu.be/g2u_rEcWW8M

KRIS KRISTOFFERSON became a wealthy man because of one of his songs that was made a classic by RAY PRICE…here is “FOR THE GOOD TIMES.”

http://youtu.be/NEMT93yX2ZU

4.  the “BIONIC WOMAN” has a birthday today….i should say, the actress who PLAYED her has a birthday…..LINDSAY WAGNER turns 63 today….

remember her?

here is LINDSAY WAGNER today at 63…..

5.  comedian JACK CARTER, who was famous mostly back in the 60’s and 70’s has a birthday on sunday….he will turn 89 years old…see if you remember him….

here’s JACK CARTER today on the weekend of his 89th birthday….

6.  call me weird, but i want to see the new movie “ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER.”

i love the slogan….”PRESIDENT BY DAY…HUNTER BY NIGHT.”  ha ha….this movie looked so stupid when i heard about it, but it’s so silly that i HAVE to see it…in fact, both JEANNIE AND I agree on seeing this one…..

hopefully i will have a critique of it on monday…..

7.  WELL, THERE’S 90 MINUTE OF MY LIFE I WILL NEVER GET BACK…UGH….

i’m talking about the time i spent yesterday at the ADAM SANDLER/ANDY SAMBERG movie “THAT’S MY BOY.”

ten of us in the theater yesterday…i think i heard maybe THREE laughs….

this movie has all the HILARIOUS comedy themes like incest, masturbating over grandma’s picture, and more F-BOMBS than an EDDIE MURPHY concert…..

AWFUL MOVIE…..

8.  remember this area’s popular band “PRECIOUS CARGO?”  they are reuniting…and it feels so good!!!

i will be there…my wife will be there…some of our friends will be there…WILL YOU?

it’s saturday night from 7pm-11pm at the SHRINE MOSQUE on south main in ABERDEEN…this awesome band plays songs by “CHICAGO”, “EARTH WIND AND FIRE”, “DOOBIE BROTHERS” and many many more…

no cover charge…..beverages will be available…look me up if you get there!!!

9.  during a hypnosis demonstration, young girls at a private school in CANADA accidentally got stuck in the trance….the girls were all glassy-eyed and open to suggestion….kind of like being at a JUSTIN BIEBER concert…

10.  ASHTON KUTCHER is suing the CALIFORNIA state DMV after the DEPARTMENT OF MOTOR VEHICLES backed out of a reality show deal…c’mon ASHTON..give them a break…they have enough problems, like trying to find out who the hell gave LINDSAY LOHAN a driver’s license….

11.  BRISTOL PALIN new show on LIFETIME is bombing…it pulled in only a 0.2 rating for adults….BRISTOL’S new show took a backseat to the other new shows this week…of course, the backseat is where BRISTOL’S problems started anyway….

12.  today is “take your dog to work day.”  or as i call it “JAY takes another huge round of allergy medication day.”

13.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

 A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
    “What do you think you’re doing?” asks the wife.
    “They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans” he replies.
    “Put them back, we can’t afford them” demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
    A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
    “What do you think you’re doing?” asks the husband.
    “It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,” replies the wife.
    Her husband retorts: “So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it’s half the price.”
    He never knew what hit him.

HAVE A TREMENDOUS WEEKEND…

JAY DEAN