WOW…EVEN THE CATS KNOW ABOUT TODAY….
1. here are your monday funnies to tickle your funny bone…or wherever else you want to be tickled….
are you wondering what i’m drinking this morning? oh, i think you know……
my new favorite vending machine….although i think it defeats the purpose being they cost a dollar….
the next one is funny, but in some relationships it has switched…ha ha…
LOVE THE NEXT ONE…and it’s true….
2. hard to believe, but MICHAEL JACKSON and FARRAH FAWCETT have been gone for THREE YEARS TODAY…already three years….i have always felt sorry for FARRAH since that day…her death was certainly overshadowed by MICHAEL’S….
3. “JEOPARDY” host ALEX TREBEK suffered a mild heart attack over the weekend….he’s expected to make a full recovery….by the way, he is 71 years old….
4. one of my families favorite movies is 25 years old….which movie is it? “SPACEBALLS.” it’s a parody of “STAR WARS” and a few other movies…..hilarious movie…all four of us watch the movie and talk along with the movie……
the fantastic folks at toofab.com put together a compilation of what the stars look like today…..check out toofab.com…cool entertainment site…..
BILL PULLMAN played “LONESTAR”….he is now 58….
the beautiful DAPHNE ZUNIGA played “PRINCESS VESPA”…she is 49…..
JOHN CANDY played the man/dog character BARF…JOHN CANDY died back in 1994…he was only 43…….
JOAN RIVERS gave her voice to the robot DOT MATRIX…JOAN is now 79 years old…her face is 22…..
RICK MORANIS played the “DARTH VADER” type character “DARK HELMET.” he actually makes the movie…very very funny….he is now 59…..
MEL BROOKS is the creator/producer/director of “SPACEBALLS.” he played a “YODA” type character by the name of “YOGURT.” MEL is now 85 years old….
DICK VAN PATTEN played KING ROWLAND…he is now 83….
character actor GEORGE WYNER played COLONEL SANDURZ…get it? say the name out loud…….my favorite line for him was delivered by DARK HELMET….”what’s the matter colonel sandurz? chicken?”
and finally, JM J. BULLOCK played the sleepy prince “PRINCE VALIUM.” JM is now 57…and no, i didn’t spell it wrong..he spells his first name JM…..as in “JIM.”
5. okay, i went into the new movie “ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER” knowing it wouldn’t be an academy award winner…what i didn’t expect is how boring it was…it had it’s moments of excitement, but overall was pretty disappointing….
***how ironic…a VAMPIRE movie that SUCKED….(okay, that was bad.)
i heard and read a couple of reviews of people saying they were “disappointed” because of the “historical inaccuracies.” NO KIDDING…GEEZ…how stupid can you be? it’s about ABRAHAM LINCOLN being a VAMPIRE HUNTER….of course, there will be historical inaccuracies……c’mon people….
6. huge night saturday night at the SHRINE MOSQUE in ABERDEEN…as you may recall, it was the reunion show for the band “PRECIOUS CARGO.” big big crowd at the party…in fact, it was standing room only for quite some time…the band did great!!! for not playing together for years, they blended well…JEANNIE AND I especially loved the songs where the brass section was featured…
7. researchers say the worst pests to have in your house are carpenter ants, bed bugs, and formosan termites….that is, if you don’t count in-laws…..
8. a man from ARIZONA faces DUI chargers for having a blood alcohol level of .328…you heard right, .328….police said they smelled alcohol on the guy….from seven miles away….
9. a clerk at the DEL TACO in HEMET, CALIFORNIA, was arrested for allegedly stabbing a customer in the stomach with a knife in a dispute over the guy’s food order….it wasn’t even a fair fight…all the customer had on his was a SPORK….
10. an 8 year old rescue dog from the UK won the “WORLD’S UGLIEST DOG CONTEST.” he received $1,000 dollars in dog treats and a job in radio….
11. PRINCE WILLIAM received a very large inheritance from PRINCESS DIANA for his 30th birthday…finally the kid can quit working and take it easy….
12. the rumor is that ANN CURRY is about to be shown the door on the “TODAY” show…dang that JAY LENO…he can’t leave anything alone….
13. JOKE OF THE DAY:
Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like. The first vampire responds, “I vould like some blood.”
The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, “I vould like some blood.”
The waitress turns to the third vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, “I vould like some plasma.”
The waitress looks up and says, “Let me see if I have this order correct. You want two bloods and a blood light?”
HAVE A TERRIFIC MONDAY…..