1.  here come your tuesday funnies….


i want one of the following..only a redskins one….

i don’t think i like this initiation into their government…ha ha…

i wish i would have thought of the next one when i was in college…

BACON ANYONE?  WOW!!!  i think  my arteries are plugging just looking at this….

and what would a tribute to men be without some bathroom humor….

i need one of the next things during the NFL season…

2.  so, whatever happened to MRS. GARRETT?  actress CHARLOTTE RAE played her on two tv shows……

first of all, “DIFFERENT STROKES.”

and, of course, “THE FACTS OF LIFE.”

CHARLOTTE RAE is now 86 years old…here she is today….

3.  i think that one of the best singer/balladeers back in the 70’s was ROLAND KENT LAVOIE…don’t know the name?  you will…he went by “LOBO.”  he had great hits like “ME AND YOU AND A DOG NAMED BOO”, “HOW CAN I TELL HER”, “DON’T EXPECT ME TO BE YOUR FRIEND, ” “I’D LOVE YOU TO WANT ME”, and many more…he has a birthday today…he turns 69……

see if you remember him…this is an album that many of us had back in the 70’s….

here is LOBO today at 69…this picture was taken in the last couple of years…

4.  what would a LOBO tribute be without some awesome music….take the time to listen to these…you’ll LOVE THEM…

here’s my favorite song by LOBO…”HOW CAN I TELL HER.”


how about “I’D LOVE YOU TO WANT ME.”




5.  HOW ABOUT THOSE MINNESOTA TWINS?  actually, they are so horrible this year it’s hard to get excited, but they did sweep CLEVELAND over the weekend, and beat their arch rival CHICAGO WHITE SOX last night in the bottom of the 9th inning…it’s so disappointing to watch this team..in my opinion, they are a good three years away from being competitive…and that’s very sad considering where they were a couple of years ago….

6.  i’m so excited…FANTASY FOOTBALL IS JUST ABOUT HERE…the NFL preseason kicks off shortly….AND I COULDN’T BE HAPPIER….

every year we try to come up with “creative” team names for FANTASY FOOTBALL…well, here’s mine for our family league…one of my favorite new players on the WASHINGTON REDSKINS, is former NEBRASKA star running back ROY HELU…

so, my team name?  “YOU HAD ME AT HELU…”  creative, huh?

there are some other really funny team names…most of them you can’t repeat on this blog…ha ha…..

7.  there’s a new coffee on the market that is advertised as the most highly caffeinated coffee in the world…if you don’t like it, you can return it within 60 days…which is the same amount of days you’ll be wide awake without sleeping….

8.  a grocery store in NEW YORK CITY has created a “man aisle”, which stocks items a typical guy would want….the aisle consists of beer, pizza, beer, playboy magazines, beer, and more beer….

9.  PARIS HILTON’S brother CONRAD tested positive for marijuana and is spending time in the LOS ANGELES jail…he’s on the LINDSAY LOHAN wing, in the “four star” PARIS HILTON cell….

10.  MIKE TYSON’S broadway show  titled “MIKE TYSON: UNDISPUTED TRUTH”, kicks off today for a 12 performance run…director SPIKE LEE said that TYSON is a great storyteller…apparently he can really TALK YOUR EAR OFF…

11.  CHARLIE SHEEN’S tv show “ANGER MANAGEMENT” is about to get a 90 episode pick up from the FX network…very exciting news…by the time the show wraps up, every call girl in HOLLYWOOD will have their mortgages paid off….


A student was heading home for the holidays. When she got to the airline counter, she presented her ticket to New York. As she gave the agent her luggage, she made the remark, “I’d like you to send my green suitcase to Hawaii, and my red suitcase to London.”

The confused agent said, “I’m sorry, we can’t do that.”

“Really??? I am so relieved to hear you say that because that’s exactly what you did to my luggage last year!”



1. here come your monday funnies…

this one cracks me up!!

i think there’s a lot of truth to the next one….

wow…it must be REALLY DRY in this area….

2.  remember the tv show “THIRTY SOMETHING?”

one of the main stars in the show has a birthday today…KEN OLIN turns 58 today…..

here’s KEN OLIN today at 58…..

let’s see what his co-host and tv show wife looks like today…her name is PATRICIA WETTIG and she is now 60 years old….

here she is today…

4.  tv star DELTA BURKE turns 56 today…you probably mostly remember her from “DESIGNING WOMEN.”

here’s DELTA BURKE today at 56…..

5.  wow…the movie “THE DARK KNIGHT RISES” absolutely ROCKS…it’s by far, the best movie i have seen in a long long time….everybody had been raving about it, and i wanted to see it, but JEANNIE really didn’t care to see it….but, she went anyway with me…..SHE LOVED IT TOO….this is one of the best casts of a movie i have seen in a long long time…

tons of plot twists, plenty of action, and a fantastic storyline…HIGHLY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED….

6.  as i mentioned friday, my nephew and his fiance were married this past weekend at FORT SISSETON…

there were many friends and relatives who had never been to FORT SISSETON, and they were amazed at how beautiful the setting is for a wedding…not to mention the incredible history of the place!!!

7.  SAMSUNG claims that APPLE stole thier I-PHONE technology from them…also they had an idea for different size I-PADS…but they had to rethink their idea after they named them the mini pad and maxi pad….

8.  pro marijuana groups are still fighting the LOS ANGELES city council for clothing all medical marijuana stores…the final straw came when city officials voted to remove the statue of WILLIE NELSON….

9.  after performing for only 45 minutes at a PARIS concert, MADONNA was booed by concertgoers who called her a “slut” and demanded thier money back….the stuff they yelled was so upsetting that, at one point, MADONNA turned off her miracle ear.

10.  a woman from CALIFORNIA set a new world record by staying on a ferris wheel for 26 hours…i can relate…every day of my life feels like i’m stuck on a merry-go-round.

11.  i heard this weekend that producers have hired “THE FONZ” HENRY WINKLER for a role on BROADWAY this fall…he’ll play a porn star…hhmmm…should have signed FRED WILLARD….

12.  JOKE OF THE DAY:  (a hilarious one)

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He’d been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, “Grandma, what’s that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?”
    She was a little taken aback, but she decided to just tell him the truth. “It’s called sexual intercourse, darling.”
    Little Tony just said,”Oh, OK,” and went back outside to play with the other kids.
    A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, “Grandma, it isn’t called sexual intercourse. It’s called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy’s Mom wants to talk to you.”




1.  first of all, i would like to be the first to congratulate my nephew DARWIN and his future wife ANDE….they will be married saturday at FORT SISSETON, and i have the honor of marrying them…


2.  here come your weekend funnies!!!

this is a good one….

i guess it doesn’t only happen in the HOTEL CALIFORNIA…

i laughed out loud at this one….

i think the following would cure me from being on the internet….

3.  legendary tv producer and creator NORMAN LEAR hits the big 90 today….how about that?

you have NORMAN LEAR to thank for creating such legendary shows as “ALL IN THE FAMILY”, “THE JEFFERSONS”, “SANFORD AND SON”, “ONE DAY AT A TIME”, “MAUDE”, “GOOD TIMES” and more….WOW…

here’s NORMAN LEAR back in the 70’s…

and here is NORMAN LEAR today on his 90th birthday….

4.  remember BETTY THOMAS?  she played on “HILL STREET BLUES.”

she is turning 64 today…here is what she looks like today…

5.  not much coming out for movies this weekend…i’m kind of 50-50 on wanting to see the new comedy “THE WATCH.”

looks kind of funny, but you just never know…

i do know one thing…JEANNIE AND I are going to see “THE DARK KNIGHT RISES” on sunday….we figured that by now the crowds have diminished a bit…..i had somebody tell me that everytime somebody got up for popcorn or to use the restroom, people would nervously watch them……of course, that situation is from the horrible events in COLORADO last week…..

6.  the olympics are on…frankly, i couldn’t care less…JEANNIE is super pumped and can’t wait to watch them…thank goodness i have my own tv downstairs….

7.  twitter experienced a worldwide outage for over an hour yesterday…..users were going crazy not being able to tell people what they were eating for lunch…..

8.  LOS ANGELES will close hundreds of medical marijuana dispensaries….pot smokers were so outraged that they went from super mellow to regular mellow…..and nobody was more upset about this than the DORITOS company…

9.  a customs agent at an airport in MIAMI has pleaded guilty to groping three women…what do you expect when you fly out of ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER AIRPORT?

10.  a new study found that CANADIANS are reporting a record three U.F.O’S sightings every day….or as we call those U.F.O’S in our country…GEESE…

11.  according to the latest report, the BRITISH are in an even deeper recession than previously thought….we should have noticed that when we saw that the olympic gold medals are just gold paper wrapped around chocolate….

12.  PRESIDENT OBAMA and MITT ROMNEY continue exchanging words…who do they think they are? THE JACKSONS?


A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are in a breast stroke race. The starter’s gun goes off and the three girls dive into the pool. The brunette and the redhead shoot across the pool and get out; 20 minutes later the blonde reaches the end and gets out.
     The judge says, “The gold medal goes to the brunette, the silver medal goes to the redhead, and the bronze goes to the blonde.”
     The blonde says, “I don’t want to be a sore loser, but I think the other girls were using their arms.”


     Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract’s sick-leave provisions.
     One morning at the bargaining table, the company’s chief negotiator held up the morning edition of the newspaper, “This man,” he announced, “called in sick yesterday!”
     There on the sports page was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.
     The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator.
     “Wow,” he said. “Just think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn’t been sick!”




1.  here are your thursday funnies….

nothing torks me off like calling my banks, insurance places, wherever, and having to talk to someone a million miles away…okay, maybe not a million…but, customer service in most places has gone to complete CRAP…so, let’s salute them…i firmly believe in both of these….

here’s a good one….AIN’T IT THE TRUTH!!!

and finally, i have to get my daily dig in on KIMMY….

2.  happy birthday wishes are going out to actor JAMES BEST, who is known as “SHERIFF ROSCOE P. COLTRANE” on “THE DUKES OF HAZZARD.”  get this…he is 86 today….EIGHTY SIX….wow….here he is back then….

here is JAMES BEST today at 86…..

3.  the beautiful actress SUSAN GEORGE has a birthday today…she turns 62….she is known for such movies as the 1971 version of “STRAW DOGS, ”  “DIRTY MARY, CRAZY LARRY” and many others…here she is back in her younger years….

here is SUSAN GEORGE at 62…this was taken at ROBIN GIBB’S funeral recently…..

4.  we had a nice two minute blast of rain yesterday….ha ha…that’s about all it was, but it sure came down…..

if it is raining, you’d better pay attention to this sign….IDIOTS…they should find the guy that made this sign and slap him…..

5.  just when you think that celebrities don’t have a heart and are only out for themselves, you see a story like this…actor CHRISTIAN BALE, who plays “BATMAN” in the new movie “THE DARK KNIGHT RISES”, went to AURORA, COLORADO a couple of days ago to visit the injured from the horrible shootings last week.  he also went to the tribute site for those that died…..some people think it’s a publicity stunt, but i do not….CHRISTIAN seemed sincere when visiting with people….GOOD FOR HIM…..THANK YOU CHRISTIAN FOR SHOWING SOME LOVE!!!

6.  okay, now i’m mad….i have been wanting to see the band “TRAIN” for the last couple of years, and they haven’t been that close to our area…well, next tuesday they are in FARGO…i was excited until i found out it’s a private party for SANFORD employees and people associated with them……DANG IT…looks like i need to find someone from SANFORD who will stuff me in their trunk and take me with….

7.  after 79 years as a print publication, NEWSWEEK will soon become online-only….i hear the website will have archives of old NEWSWEEKS dating back to 1933…..just like my dentist and doctor’s offices….

8.  the man who brought popularity to the in-home treadmills has died at the age of 96….to honor him, my shirts hanging on my treadmill are half mast….

9.  a woman in MASSACHUSETTS is hitchhiking across the country using social media…it was off to a horrible start, though…she opened up FACEBOOK and didn’t get out of her driveway for two days….

10.  NORTH KOREAN state tv confirmed that their leader KIM JONG UN got married recently…he and his bride are registered at BED, BATH, AND OPPRESSED…..

11.  a paparazzo could face up to a year in jail after he was charged with “dangerous, chaotic driving” while chasing JUSTIN BIEBER’S car at high speeds….he’s a 30 year old man chasing JUSTIN BIEBER…cripes…he should just plead insanity……


Jenine, a curvy blonde enters into John’s cabin and says to her boss, “John, I’m afraid I’ve bad news for you.”

John staring at his secretary’s curves, replies, “Sweetheart, why do you always have to give me bad news? Give me some good news for a change.”

Jenine replies, “Well, if you insist, the good news is that you are not sterile…..”


first of all, i would like to wish a happy 22nd birthday to my sunshine, TYLER…he is the oldest of our two boys….that’s right, JEANNIE’S birthday was yesterday, TYLER’S is today, and MITCHELL’S was this past july 9th….expensive month….ha ha

here’s the birthday boy with his best friend in the world, TAYLOR…JEANNIE AND I always comment on how we wish we would have had an awesome friend like TYLER and TAYLOR are…and we consider TAYLOR our “third son.” TYLER is on the left….


here are your wednesday funnies….

first of all, a couple about that dreaded word..WORK…

the next one made me laugh out loud!!!


and finally, a music one that we can appreciate…

2.  the tv icons keep falling…we lost ANDY GRIFFITH and ERNEST BORGNINE recently, and then yesterday, we lost two more…

first of all, we lost SHERMAN HEMSLEY, who played GEORGE JEFFERSON on “THE JEFFERSONS”…he also starred in the tv show “AMEN.”

SHERMAN HEMSLEY was 74 years old….here he is recently…i guess he literally is “movin’ on up to that deluxe apartment in the sky.”

3.  and then we lost the very handsome CHAD EVERETT…he was 75 years old…we mostly remember CHAD for playing DR. JOE GANNON on the hit tv show “MEDICAL CENTER.”

CHAD EVERETT drove the women crazy with his good looks and charm…here he is recently….

4.  and on the religious front, the world lost an area evangelist, LOWELL LUNDSTROM…his ministry is based in SISSETON…LOWELL died last friday at the age of 72….

his funeral is friday afternoon in LAKEVILLE, MINNESOTA, but there will be a local service for him next tuesday at 2pm at the SISSETON fine arts center…..

i went to a couple of his events, and i’ll say this…he was one motivational christian….if he didn’t get you fired up, nobody could….

5.  okay, enough talk about death….oh wait, one more…


we went out for JEANNIE and TYLER’S birthdays last night…first of all, supper at MAX AND ERMA’S, where i had a tremendous steak called “THE LAREDO.”  really good……then it was off to WYLIE for the miniture golf course….the birthday girl won, and i played absolutely the WORST game of miniture golf i have ever played…and then i got frustrated and it only got worse…MITCHELL got a hole in one!!! that was pretty exciting…meanwhile, i was getting holes in SIX….

6.  i was shocked to find out that my boys have never seen the movie classic “ANIMAL HOUSE.”  they have literally watched hundreds of movies, and i can’t believe they missed this one…so, i bought the blue-ray of the movie, and we’ll be watching it soon…”ANIMAL HOUSE” is a classic that is a must for people to watch..little dirty and raunchy, but hilarious….

7.  according to a new survey, 52 percent of respondents say they’ll spend less time on FACEBOOK in the next year….sociologists have coined a phrase for people like that….LIARS….

8.  more than 1,000 turtles escaped from a farm in GEORGIA…it happened last thursday, so they’re probably next door by now….

9.  RADAR ONLINE says that KANYE WEST plans to propose to KIM KARDASHIAN the minute her divorce is finalized….KANYE plans on using his mother’s ring…..KANYE will get down on one knee and ask her to make him the happiest man in the world…for at least ten weeks….

10.  more trouble for the JACKSON family, as JERMAINE, RANDY, AND JANET JACKSON were barred from their mother KATHERINE’S home for trying to remove MICHAEL JACKSON’S kids…..i’ll be darned…MICHAEL apparently WASN’T the crazy one…..

11.  according to a government report, condom use has increased among U.S. high schools…you know what that means…DEMI MOORE IS DATING AGAIN….


Two tigers are walking along a jungle trail in single file. The rearmost tiger wanders off the trail for a few minutes, then reappears shortly thereafter. A few moments later, the front tiger feels what seems to be the other tiger’s tongue, applied just below his tail. The tiger disapproves of this action, but doesn’t want to start anything by bringing it up. Then, the tiger again feels the tongue, again in the same place.
    He decides to confront the after tiger, and asks him, “Did you just lick me twice in the butt?”
    The other tiger replied, “Yeah, sorry about that. I just ate a radio announcer  and I was trying to get the taste out of my mouth.”




i want to take this time to wish a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the love of my life, my beautiful wife JEANNIE….

GOD sure blessed me with this wonderful woman…I LOVE YOU JEANNIE…and happy birthday….

1.  here come your tuesday funnies….

this one is funny…..

sadly, i have done the following….

this next one should be posted at our workplace….

2.  i cannot believe that actor CHRIS SARANDON turns SEVENTY today…i would have guessed maybe low 60’s…wow…CHRIS was married at one time to actress SUSAN SARANDON…he’s best known for the movies “FRIGHT NIGHT”, “THE PRINCESS BRIDE” and many others….

here’s CHRIS SARANDON today on birthday number 70….

3.  actor ROBERT HAYES turns 65 today….remember that name?  i guarantee you’ll remember his role in the “AIRPLANE” movies….

here’s ROBERT HAYES today on birthday number 65…..

4.  and finally, “WONDER WOMAN” turns 61…well, not exactly WONDER WOMAN, but the lady who played her, LYNDA CARTER…she was quite the hottie in her day….

here’s LYNDA CARTER today at 61…..

5.  only a few words are needed for the introduction of this next tribute…MAY GOD BLESS THEM….

6.  absolutely PERFECT night for softball last night…other than we lost again, and haven’t won a game yet…..the weather was nice and cool with a little breeze…sure beats the upper 90’s and high humidities that we had the last couple of weeks….

7.  i had dinner yesterday with one of my classmates from LANGFORD HIGH SCHOOL’S CLASS OF 1982….hard to believe, but we had our 30TH anniversary of graduation this summer…..it was nice seeing NATALIE, and reminiscing…..she doesn’t look like she’s in her upper 40’s, and i look like i could be her dad…ha ha….

8.  HILLARY CLINTON broke the record for the most number of countries visited by a secretary of state…she’s also the first secretary of state to have her husband in charge of her travel schedule…..

9.  FIAT is releasing a new line of cars that have a built-in espresso machine…it’s so the driver will have a nice drink to offer the mechanic….

10.  MARIAH CAREY is the new judge on “AMERICAN IDOL” to replace JENNIFER LOPEZ…..MARIAH will reportedly be paid $17 million dollars, which ironically is the number of notes she hits when singing “THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER.”

11.  octomom NADYA SULEMAN has earned enough money from her porn films and stripping gigs to get off welfare…however, she still can’t afford all the bills from babysitting….

12.  actor PATRICK STEWART helped carry the olympic torch yesterday…..his STAR TREK fans turned out to see their hero, which made for a rare combination…..GEEKS PLUS SUNLIGHT….


A man speaks frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”

“Is this her first child?” the doctor queries.

“No, you idiot!” the man shouts. “This is her *husband*!”




1.  here are your monday funnies….

i know i’ve used this before, but it’s just too good to pass up…..

this next one is funny…funny, but true….

and finally, this is ONE TOUGH MAMA….

2.  happy birthday wishes are going out to actor RONNY COX…he’s 74 today….

i remember RONNY COX in his early years starring in the tv show “APPLE’S WAY.”  remember that show? it was on from 1974-1975 and was by the WALTON’S creators….

maybe you’ll remember the opening credits to “APPLE’S WAY.”


RONNY COX also starred in “BEVERLY HILLS COP”, and “ROBOCOP” among many other roles…


here is RONNY COX recently…..happy 74th RONNY…

3.  actress EDIE MCCLURG turns 61…she was in “FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF”, “PLANES, TRAINS, AND AUTOMOBILES”, and has done numerous voices on cartoons….

here’s EDIE MCCLURG today…and yesterday….

4.  what person do you think of when you hear the following words….BILL CLINTON…WHITE HOUSE…BLUE DRESS…SCANDAL….

of course, you think of MONICA LEWINSKY….she turns 39 today….here’s the famous photo of her and the president….

and here’s MONICA LEWINSKY recently….


5.  i’m apparently a very SLOW LEARNER…burnt to a crisp again for the second monday in a row….and both of them happened at the AQUATIC CENTER….i’ll tell you this…nothing feels better than being in a pool on a super hot day….and cruising down the lazy river with your beautiful wife……however, next time…sun screen….unless, of course, i forget again…

6.  on saturday night, JEANNIE AND I sat down to watch the latest installment of the “AMERICAN PIE” movies called “AMERICAN REUNION.”  the gang comes back for a school reunion in this movie…..here’s the deal…IT’S RAUNCHY…IT’S DIRTY…IT’S GROSS…BUT IT’S HILARIOUS….

those characters are good, but our favorite is STIFLER….played by SEANN  WILLIAM SCOTT….

7.  21 people suffered severe burns walking across coals at a TONY ROBBINS motivational seminar….the power of positive thinking worked…they are all POSITIVE that they are going to sue him….

8.  LADY GAGA is denying rumors that she’s undergone extensive plastic surgery….she even had her doctor carve a disapproving frown on her face.

9.  tennis star RAFAEL NADAL has pulled out of the olympics because he says he’s “not in condition” to compete….how about that?  I DO HAVE A LOT IN COMMON WITH AN OLYMPIC TRAINED ATHLETE….

10.  PBS has fired actor FRED WILLARD as the narrator of it’s new show “MARKET WARRIORS” after the actor’s arrest for engaging in a lewd act at a porn theater…WILLARD was shocked at the firing…you could say he was “caught with his pants down.”

11.  LINDSAY LOHAN is working on her next project…a movie called “THE CANYONS” co-starring a PORN ACTOR named JAMES DEEN…your reputation can be ruined by working with someone who has a sleazy past…but the porn star says he’s cool working with her…..


A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital.
Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.
“I have some good news and some bad news,” says the surgeon.
“The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!”
“Oh God no!” cries the man “My golfing is over! Please Doc, what’s the good news?”
“The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it’s a woman’s arm.
I’ll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant.”
“Go for it doc” says the man. “As long as I can play golf again.”
The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course
when he bumped into the surgeon. “Hi, how’s the new arm?” asks the surgeon.
“Just great,” says the businessman. “I’m playing the best golf of my life.
My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved.”
“That’s great,” said the surgeon.

“Not only that,” continued the golfer, “my handwriting has improved,
I’ve learned how to sew my own clothes and I’ve even taken up
painting landscapes in watercolours.”

“Unbelievable!” said the surgeon, “I’m so glad to hear the transplant
was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?”

“Well, just one problem,” said the golfer.
“Every time I get in the mood, I also get a headache.”