HEY, IT’S TUESDAY…..the day before “INDEPENDENCE DAY.”
1. here are your tuesday funnies…..
this one is HILARIOUS….
lots of truth to the next one!!!
i laughed out loud this morning at the next one…..
LOVE this next one!!!
2. yesterday i went to see the movie “TED.” it stars MARK WAHLBERG and the voice of SETH MACFARLANE as a teddy bear that comes to life….i have been patiently waiting to see the movie for months……my opinion?
HORRIBLE….very disappointing…..there were only about a dozen of us in the theater, and when we were supposed to be laughing, it was deathly quiet…sure, there were some highlights, but overall, very disappointing…..
one bright spot in the movie was the appearance of actor SAM J. JONES….do you know him? he was most famous for playing “FLASH GORDON” in the 80’s movie….remember his blonde hair?
SAM J. JONES also starred with BO DEREK in the hit movie “10.”
SAM J. JONES is now 57 years old……here he is today, including his flowing blonde hair in the movie “TED.”
3. birthday wishes are also in store today for actress YEARDLEY SMITH….she does the voice of LISA SIMPSON on the hit tv show “THE SIMPSON’S.” she is 48 today……
4. thru all the heartache he is going thru right now, he has a little something to celebrate….
TOM CRUISE TURNS 50 TODAY!!!!!!
TOM, of course, burst onto the scene in the movie “RISKY BUSINESS.” sliding around in your undewear has never been more fun!!!
TOM CRUISE is now going thru a highly publicized divorce to KATIE HOLMES…TOM is supposedly devastated about KATIE filing for divorce…….
TOM CRUISE has had three famous marriage…first to MIMI ROGERS, second to NICOLE KIDMAN, and, of course, to KATIE HOLMES….
the latest movie role that TOM CRUISE was in, was playing an aging rock legend in the musical “ROCK OF AGES.” i actually loved the movie, but don’t ask the opinion of our sales manager, DALINE…ha ha….she hated the movie…..
here’s TOM as the aging rock legend…..
***i truly think that TOM CRUISE is one of the best actors of our time…very versatile……he can play about any role that comes up….HAPPY 50th TOM!!!
5. playing softball SUCKED last night….it was so miserable with the heat and humidity…..our shirts were just dripping wet……and my asthma didn’t cooperate with the weather, either…i was so mad at one of our players last night…our heavy hitter BROCK OLSON came up after me in the batting rotation……i got to first base, and he got a double, which meant me running from first to third…i thought i was going to die when i got to third…ha ha…..HOW DARE HE GET A GOOD HIT, RIGHT?
6. well, tomorrow morning we leave for NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE for our LCMC church youth gathering…….we have a group going from HECLA and from FREDERICK….in addition to the youth rally, we are also going to the GRAND OLE OPRY, COUNTRY MUSIC HALL OF FAME, and we’re touring legendary downtown NASHVILLE and the OPRYLAND HOTEL…..should be a great time……
7. DAMN, IT’S HOT….it’s so hot that baseball fans in MINNESOTA are staying for the entire MINNESOTA TWINS games, just for the breeze of the swinging bats………
8. a FILIPINO man who came to CALIFORNIA in 1928 has become a U.S. citizen at the age of 102….holey moley….immigration services must be REALLY backed up on paperwork….
9. LINDSAY LOHAN celebrated her 26th birthday at a HOLLYWOOD nightclub….sources say she apparently wasn’t drinking…..
i take this story with a grain of salt……and LINDSAY would follow up the salt with a quart of tequila…..
10. record numbers of people turned into the first two episodes of CHARLIE SHEEN’S new sitcom “ANGER MANAGEMENT.”
i have an excellent idea for the next episode….kill of CHARLIE’S character and have ASHTON KUTCHER take over his role…….that would be original, wouldn’t it?
JOKE OF THE DAY:
A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife cried, “What are we going to do?”
“Nothing,” said the hunter husband. “The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.”
HAVE A TERRIFIC DAY AND AN AWESOME FOURTH OF JULY!!!