I DON’T DRINK COFFEE…CAN WE MAKE IT A DIET PEPSI?
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1. HERE ARE YOUR MONDAY FUNNIES…..
i dedicate this one to a few of my family members…ha ha….
those crazy rednecks!!!!
i think i kind of LOVE this next idea….wish i could get away with it….
the next one is HILARIOUS…..
2. our two sons turned us on to a fantastic television show called “AMERICAN HORROR STORY.” it’s on the FX channel…….season one was last year, so all twelve episodes are on NETFLIX….well, we watched season one and it is INCREDIBLE….scary, creepy, eerie, and a great storyline………..our butts are dragging today, because we stayed up and watched the last four episodes last night…couldn’t shut them off…ended up going to bed around midnight or so…..(old people aren’t supposed to do that.)
the show “AMERICAN HORROR STORY” season one, centers around a haunted house that keeps you there for an eternity if you die in the house…..and many people did…..and not of natural causes, either….there are ghosts galore, and even some super sexy scenes which really suprised us…..but then again, it’s basic cable………
and here is some of the cast of the show…..
highly highly highly recommend this show…….like i said, season one is available on NETFLIX and, i beleive, on dvd box set….season two is on now and is set in an INSANE ASYLUM…that should be incredible.
3. one of the stars of “AMERICAN HORROR STORY” season one and season two is the great actress JESSICA LANGE….i thought it would be fun to feature her today…..she, by the way, is 63 years old already…but then again, she’s been in movies for quite some time…..
i didn’t know this, but JESSICA LANGE is a MINNESOTA GIRL……she was born and graduated in CLOQUET, MINNESOTA and is a graduate of the U OF M in MINNEAPOLIS…..here she is in an early shot….
one of her early roles was the 1976 remake of “KING KONG.”
you probably also remember JESSICA LANGE from the 1982 hit “TOOTSIE” also starring DUSTIN HOFFMAN…..
probably my favorite role of JESSICA’S is when she played the country music super icon PATSY CLINE in the movie “SWEET DREAMS” from 1985….
and who can forget her great role with NICK NOLTE and ROBERT DENIRO in the remake of “CAPE FEAR” which was a big hit in 1991 for her…..
here’s what JESSICA LANGE looks like today at 63……
4. the “KOOCHIE KOOCHIE” girl turns 62 tomorrow…yes, i’m talking about CHARO….in addition to her sexy dressing, she is an incredible guitar player…..here’s CHARO a few years ago….
and here’s CHARO just a couple of weeks ago….
5. WOW!! WHAT A WEEKEND FOR NFL FOOTBALL…..
***the BALTIMORE RAVENS shocked the nation with an upset win over PEYTON MANNING and the DENVER BRONCOS…the BRONCOS were even playing at home……
***COLIN KAPERNICK went crazy for the SAN FRANCISCO 49’ERS, as they crushed the GREEN BAY PACKERS….KAPERNICK shattered an NFL record for rushing yards by a quarterback….
***the ATLANTA FALCONS withstood a stubborn SEATTLE SEAHAWKS team yesterday to win by a couple of points….after the FALCONS pulled ahead in the final minute, they tried to do a sqib kick, but it turned out to be more of an onside kick, and almost put the SEAHAWKS into field goal range to win the game……but ATLANTA held on….
***and the NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS once again took care of the HOUSTON TEXANS…
which sets up this weekends matches with the winners going to the SUPER BOWL….it’s the ATLANTA FALCONS vs. the SAN FRANCISCO 49’ERS, and the NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS vs. the BALTIMORE RAVENS….
who do i want to win? don’t really care, but would kind of like to see a “HARBAUGH BOWL” as both brothers are coaching the 49’ERS and the RAVENS…..
6. my beautiful bride and i went to see a movie saturday night…we have been waiting for weeks to see “GANGSTER SQUAD” so, we went this weekend……right before the movie, our son TYLER told us that critics were ripping the movie to shreds…so, we became a bit concerned…HOWEVER, we really enjoyed the movie…great action, great story, and SEAN PENN proves why he is one of the greatest actors of our time…..we recommend this movie…..
7. i was a bit suprised and happy with some of the winners of the GOLDEN GLOBES last night……the movie “ARGO” won best picture, which suprised me…….BEN AFFLECK won for best director…..but i was happy when DANIEL DAY LEWIS won for best actor for his portrayal of ABRAHAM LINCOLN in the really good movie “LINCOLN.” and, as i had predicted earlier, CHRISTOPHER WALTZ won best supporting actor for his role in “DJANGO UNCHAINED.” i hear that TINA FEY and AMY POEHLER were pretty good as hosts……i’m not super hyped on them, but i probably would have enjoyed them….
8. apparently LADY GAGA split a pair of latex pants the other day and exposed her butt…..seriously? DON’T CARE…this woman does absolutely nothing for me…..
9. JOKE OF THE DAY:
A redneck family from outside Little Rock was visiting a city in the North and they were in a mall for the first time in their lives. The father and son decided to stroll around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy said, “Pa, What’s’at?” Pa (never having seen an elevator) said, “Dunno, son. Ain’t never seen nothing like ‘at in my whole dang life. Ain’t got no idea’r what ’tis.”
Then, all of a sudden, while the two watched in amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and she rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until the number at the top lit up. And then the small lights commenced to work their way down again.
When the walls opened the next time, out stepped a gorgeous, voluptuous, turbo 24-year-old blonde woman.
Reverently, and without taking his eyes off the babe, Pa said, quietly, “Boy . . . go . . . git . . . yo . . . Momma.”
HAVE A GREAT MONDAY….