HELLO..MY NAME IS JAY DEAN…AND, I DON’T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS OR NOT, BUT I’VE BEEN WORKING OUT LATELY……
anyway, it’s that time of the year for this next statement to be true…..
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1. HERE COME YOUR FUNNIES FOR TODAY….
this one cracked me up…….
hmm…always wondered about the next one….
(end line for the next one)….AND THEN THE FIGHT STARTED…….
this one is rude…FUNNY…BUT RUDE….ha ha
and finally, one more good laugh for today…..
2. this, is “THE SIMPSON’S” creator MATT GROENING…..
his mother, MARGARET died this week at the age of 94……MARGARET GROENING…….she is survived by her son MATT, husband HOMER, and daughter’s LISA AND MAGGIE……sound familiar?
here’s their real family……
yep…MATT GROENING’S inspiration for the show was HIS OWN FAMILY….although, apparently, his mom was never called “MARGE.” one more funny story? his mother’s maiden name? WIGGUM….as in CHIEF WIGGUM and his son RALPH WIGGUM….
little RALPH WIGGUM is my favorite character on “THE SIMPSON’S.” watch this short video of some of his funniest stuff……
3. we lost a soap opera legend this week….actress JEANNE COOPER died at the age of 84……for decades she played KATHERINE CHANCELLOR on “THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS.” since 1973 to be exact…….but she was acting many many years before this role…….
here she is from the early years of “THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS.”
she is also known for having a REAL LIFE FACELIFT on the show….remember that?
JEANNE COOPER will always be known as the real life mom of actor CORBIN BERNSEN….
here’s the great JEANNE COOPER in the last couple of years, including a couple of pictures with her “YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS” family…..
4. the media can be so stupid…….they pick on people constantly, and probably need to look in the mirror…..case in point, KIM KARDASHIAN…..i can’t beleive i’m going to do this, but I’M GOING TO DEFEND KIM KARDASHIAN FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME…..
KIM is on the cover of “US WEEKLY” and she is very pregnant and in a swimsuit……no big deal, right? wrong…..she is getting mauled and ripped apart by people because “SHE’S FAT”…..are you kidding me? SHE’S PREGNANT…..and frankly, i think that pregnancy is a very very sexy thing………here’s the cover that’s the topic of every conversation…….
i personally think she looks nice….and if you have the kind of bod that you can flaunt even while you’re pregnant, GO FOR IT…..
5. since we last talked, the shocking story in CLEVELAND broke….you know the one……three women who were presumed dead were found alive in a home where they were shackled, tied up, and abused in ways that i don’t even want to think about…….one of the girls AMANDA BERRY tried breaking out of the house while the guys were gone…..a next door neighbor saw her and helped her……the next door neighbor couldn’t believe what he saw….he made a comment that he “barbequed with that guy…we ate ribs together…we listened to salsa music.” SALSA MUSIC? oh well, to each his own….anyway, these three sweet young ladies were saved and three guys were arrested…apparently only one of them is going to be charged severely…which disappoints me……I CANNOT THINK OF A PUNISHMENT SEVERE ENOUGH FOR THESE MEN…what they did was unthinkable……
***and as a parent? i would want to beat these guys to death….i cannot imagine having a child stolen in the first place. but then having to grieve for ten years, and finally tell yourself that your child is dead so you can move on….AND THEN TO FIND OUT YOUR CHILD IS SAFE? AND NOT TOO FAR FROM HOME? AFTER A DECADE? that has to be thrilling, but i cannot imagine the pain these parents went thru…and the unthinkable pain these girls went thru……i just pray to GOD for immediate healing for the girls and the family………..the courts will take care of the creeps…..they had just better be damn lucky that this world didn’t go by “AN EYE FOR AN EYE” punishment…….too bad we don’t……
6. A GUY WAS SWALLOWED BY A HIPPO? seriously? sounds like a biblical story doesn’t it? well, here’s the story…apparently this event happened 17 years ago….and the guy is coming forward right now for the story in the magazine “THE GUARDIAN.” when the hippo attack happened, his friend was killed…..
here’s how the guy explained what happened….
“I was aware that my legs were surrounded by water, but my top half was almost dry. I seemed to be trapped in something slimy. There was a terrible, sulphurous smell, like rotten eggs, and a tremendous pressure against my chest. My arms were trapped but I managed to free one hand and felt around – my palm passed through the wiry bristles of the hippo’s snout. It was only then that I realized I was underwater, trapped up to my waist in his mouth.”
YUCK….what a horrific event….luckily he lived to tell about it…….the “rotten eggs” comment just about made me puke……
how would YOU liked to be trapped in something like this?
7. it’s “DO OR DIE” tonight for my MINNESOTA WILD…they looked horrible the other night in a home loss to the CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS….they are down 3-1……the last two times the WILD were in the playoffs, they were down 3-1 and came back to win 4-3….its’ going to be a monumental challenge to do it this year…hopefully they can…but my faith is wavering……
8. in early june our youth groups from HECLA, FREDERICK AND WESTPORT are going together to MINNEAPOLIS to work at a homeless shelter known as “MARY’S PLACE.” its’ a very moving time….it’s heart wrenching to realize that people in our neck of the woods are this down and out…..i guaranteed my church kids last night that there live will change over what they see…..at least, that’s what we pray for….
we always allow the kids some “down time” to do a couple of fun things…one of the possibilities this year is a tour of the METRODOME….you get to see the field, the TWIN’S locker rooms and the VIKING’S locker rooms…….i hope we do it….especially since they will be tearing the METRODOME down at the end of the VIKING’S season this year…..could be something cool to tell the kids and grandkids about some day…..
9. JOKE OF THE DAY: (thanks to KIM in our office for this great joke….)
I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted “CRAZY” then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down from the ceiling and made funny noises. My coworker (who’s blonde) asked me what I was doing? I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was “CRAZY” and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked “What are you doing?” I told him I was a light bulb. He said…..You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.
I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my coworker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss said to her, “And where do you think you are going?”.
She said, “I’m going home too, I can’t work in the dark!”
LOVE IT…..HAVE A GREAT DAY MY FRIENDS……