today is a very special day….it’s my beautiful MAMA’S 70TH BIRTHDAY TODAY….my MOM is so beautiful on the inside and out…and i’m not ashamed to tell you that I am a HUGE HUGE HUGE MAMA’S BOY….and yes, my gorgeous wife knows that……anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM…I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART!!!!
HEY, BIG NEWS FROM PIERSON FORD…..from now until the end of the month we’re having a special promotion……..price tags have been SLASHED…our inventory needs to be moved…and guess what? ask how you can get a no charge NAVIGATION…..and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, (the bad news bearers…loved that movie…hee hee) but, the white stuff may be coming soon…PIERSON FORD has an incredible lineup of NEW FORD pickups, and about every make and model of pre-owned ones……call us at 1-800-627-1237, stop by and see us in the auto plaza in ABERDEEN, SOUTH DAKOTA…or check out our inventory at: http://piersonford.com/
ALSO, a huge thank you to everybody that came out for our free hunter’s breakfast this past Saturday morning….we served over 380 PEOPLE…how about that?
1. HOW ABOUT SOME FUNNIES?
NOTE TO SELF: be careful what I wear at Halloween, and particularly, WHERE I GO….
this young lady might want to rethink her plans…..
I have two words for the next one….I AGREE….
PHEW!!! GLAD I DON’T HAVE CATS….
and finally, some great words to live by!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. AND NOW…AN OPEN LETTER……
i’m sorry i’m being so rude, but I think you are a moron…..plain and simple…I mean, who else would be pumping gas AND SMOKING A CIGARETTE AT THE SAME TIME? yeah, that’s right….I was the guy filling up next to you at the pumps the other day……if you looked my way you probably saw a bitter, torked off look on my face…..and I REALLY wanted to say something to you, but I figured the way you looked you would have flipped me off, yelled an obscenity and walked away…..here’s the thing….I WANT TO LIVE…I WANT TO SEE MY GRANDKIDS…I WANT TO GO HOME TO MY WIFE EACH NIGHT…….just because you have a “deathwish” doesn’t mean the rest of us do…okay, I don’t think you have a “deathwish.” but you certainly are lacking some materials in the cranium……seriously, DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT GAS IS FLAMMABLE? CAN YOU READ? it says so right on the pumps…plus, I learned about this in grade school, for heaven’s sake…..
maam, even though this picture isn’t you, I want you to see how STUPID you looked standing by the gas tank filling up…..
and I want to show you what very well could have happened because of your idiotic activity…..
listen, I don’t smoke…never have…but I do know about addictions…..and, i’m pretty sure that 90 seconds away from a cigarette would be okay…….
my advice to you and the other morons that do this is this…….THINK ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE FOR A CHANGE….light your smoke when you’re leaving the gas station…that way, if gas is spilled on your pants or hand, you’ll explode down the road……and not take me with you….
ONE ANGRY PUMPER
3. I cannot believe what happened at bowling the other night…..for the first time in a decade, I was cruising toward a 200…..I hit 199 and had ONE PIN to hit in the final frame of the tenth…..ONE STINKING PIN…..and guess what? I SAILED THE BALL RIGHT BY IT…..DAGNABBIT……so, i’ll head out this Thursday night again and try again……I haven’t come that close to a 200 in a long time….I hope that i’m not psyched out to miss my goal again…..
4. okay…I admit it….I like the smell of candles….except the one that KYLE has burning in his office here at work today…it smells like rotten sweaty feet……..HOWEVER, when purchasing a candle, I will NEVER EVER EVER EVER purchase the one I saw in WALMART the other day…..
SERIOUSLY? “HAYRIDE FLAVORED CANDLES?” have these people ever gone on hayrides? what the heck? do these candles smell like HORSE FARTS? or TRACTOR FUMES? or will they make me sneeze because i’m allergic to hay? weird product, man……
5. HAPPY BIRTHDAY wishes are going out today to actress CARRIE FISHER..you probably best remember her as “PRINCESS LEIA” from “STAR WARS.”
CARRIE FISHER turns 57 years old today…and she is FUNNY…she has a stage show that makes fun of her own addictions and her own mental illnesses…it’s crazy funny…umm..no pun intended……anyway, here’s CARRIE FISHER today at 57, including one with her beautiful mama, DEBBIE REYNOLDS, who is now 81…..
6. tomorrow, the great character actor CHRISTOPHER LLOYD will turn 75…that seems kind of hard to believe…but, he has been around for quite awhile……you probably remember CHRISTOPHER LLOYD from great roles like “REV. JIM IGNATOWSKI” on “TAXI.”
or, how about DR. EMMETT BROWN from the great movie “BACK TO THE FUTURE.”
he also had a pivotal role in the movie “WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT?” he played JUDGE DOOM….
and, CHRISTOPHER LLOYD played a really good UNCLE FESTER in the movie “THE ADDAMS FAMILY.” not the TV show…the MOVIE….
here’s CHRISTOPHER LLOYD today at 75……
7. I have been to a couple of crappy wax museums in my life, and I’ve been to a couple of good ones….the following wax museum props would not be included in good…..
CHECK OUT THESE HORRIBLE WAX MUSEUM FIGURES….
believe it or not, this is supposed to be TOM HANKS from the “CASTAWAY” movie…..
this is “apparently” TOM CRUISE from the “MISSION IMPOSSIBLE” movie…..SHEESH….
ADAM SANDLER quite possibly had a stroke…..
is the next one JIM CARREY, or my real life “CABLE GUY?”
okay…seriously…JENNIFER GARNER doesn’t look this horrible even if she had just woken up with the flu…..
AND FINALLY…MY PICK FOR THE “ALL TIME WORST WAX MUSEUM CHARACTER?” geez..i hate to even show you because it’s so horrible…oh well, here we go….
8. NFL NOTES:
****my REDSKINS beat the CHICAGO BEARS on sunday in a high flying event……and, of course, it’s the one game of the year I couldn’t watch……..i’m a bit worried…my SKINS go to DENVER and play PEYTON MANNING and the BRONCOS next week…….
****speaking of PEYTON and his team, they cruised into INDIANAPOLIS and were defeated by the COLTS….the fans had a fantastic tear jerking tribute to PEYTON MANNING before the game, but after the game started, ANDREW LUCK and the COLTS took it to them……..I agree with one sign last night……”THIS IS THE HOUSE THAT PEYTON BUILT.” it’s true….COLT’S owner JIM IRSAY should shut his big pie hole and realize this…..
****and now, there is only one undefeated NFL team….who? I would have never have guessed this in the off season….THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS….that’s right, last year’s punching bag is still undefeated….coach ANDY REID has this team believing in itself…..
****some quarterbacks went down yesterday…..JAY CUTLER from the BEARS…..SAM BRADFORD from the ST. LOUIS RAMS…..and sadly, REGGIE WAYNE from the COLTS has his season ended because of injury…the only bright spot? sources say that the RAMS want to sign TIM TEBOW….and you know about the “man crush” I have on him…….
****and tonight? ESPN says is the “worst NFL matchup ever on MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL.” the MINNESOTA VIKINGS and the NEW YORK GIANTS….one win between them……i’m going to grab my pillow and blankey…..i’m pretty sure i’ll be taking a nice siesta during this so called “event.”
9. JOKE OF THE DAY:
Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. At least he’ll shut up after you let him in.
(I WILL PAY FOR THAT ONE..)
OR HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?
Two old people flirt at a seniors’ singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, “If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?”
The old woman replies shyly, “Depends… .”
“Depends on what?” he asks.
“On my bottom — where else?!”
HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYBODY…