I WAS AT CLEAR BLUE RETREAT YESTERDAY, AND YOU SHOULD SEE THE BEAUTIFUL HOT TUBS THAT THEY HAVE….HONEY, IF YOU’RE LISTENING, THAT’S WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS…YOU, TOO CAN SEE THEM AT CLEAR BLUE RETREAT, SOUTH MAIN IN ABERDEEN, IN THE OLD DEPOT BUILDING.
1. our tiny, slight, 20 percent chance of snow yesterday sure made the roads slippery during the afternoon….have you ever noticed that when we have a 80-90 percent chance of precipitation we sometimes don’t get any, but if we have a 10-20 percent chance we usually get some….weird….
2. new york giants football star plaxico burress is suspended for the rest of the season, and has probably played his last game as a new york giant….plaxico was stupid enough to carry a loaded gun into a nightclub in new york city the other day…then the gun went off and he shot himself in the leg…..another stupid move? he had the loaded gun in A PAIR OF SWEATPANTS…i won’t even put my keys or wallet in sweatpants…..you’re almost guaranteed of losing stuff when you do that….
3. many people i know are taking on a part time job due to the economy….i am also looking for something part time, so if you want to pay me a bundle of money for not doing much work, call me… ha ha
4. speaking of work, did you know that people in the upper midwest were chosen as the hardest working people in the country? yep, it’s true….my friends in nashville always told me that when they were hiring, they always looked in the upper midwest first….a nashville record company executive told me once that southern people put in 5 actual hours of work in an eight hour day, while northerners work about 10 hours in an eight hour period…ha ha
5. i like having a four day weekend, like last weekend…it gives me a chance to stay up past ten o’clock…and i LOVE watching conan o’brien’s late night show…i think he’s the funniest of anybody in the late show circuit…….i know many people who disagree, but this is just one man’s opinion…..my favorite part of his show is ‘TRIUMPH THE INSULT COMIC DOG.” we have a dvd of the dog and it is side splitting funny….
6. one thing i love about winter time is playing more board games with friends and with the boys…there’s nothing like a lazy afternoon with popcorn and pop and a board game like yahtzee, monopoly, or apples to apples….
7. john kerry is reportedly upset that barrack o’bama didn’t name him to a cabinet position….do we have a “secretary of boredom?”
8. stupid.com has listed it’s annual 10 stupidest christmas presents…want to hear my favorite? it’s a pole dancer alarm clock that wakes you up by having a plastic blonde stripper gyrate on a pole…no kidding…..NOW I KNOW WHAT I’M GETTING SCOTT SOLBERG FOR CHRISTMAS….
9. a new survey reveals that the british are the most promiscuous in the western world….the united states ranks 6th…however, we’re moving up quickly since we got madonna back…
10. controversial political pundit ann colter fell down some stairs the other day. it was so bad that doctors had to wire her jaw shut…which was odd, because she injured her leg….
11. JOKE OF THE DAY….
The ceremony was over. The deceased husband was buried, and the widow stood
beside the grave with her best friend. As of that moment, she confided, she had
no money left.
“How can that be?” said her friend. “You told me you got $40,000 from an
insurance policy. How can you be broke already?”
The widow answered, “Well, the funeral home cost me $5,000. The rest went
for memorial stone.”
“You spent $35,000 for a memorial stone?. Good grief, how big is it?”
The widow extended her hand. “Three and a half carats.”
OR ONE OF MY FAVORITE JOKES….
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a
“What are you doing?” She asked.
“Hunting flies” he responded.
“Oh, killing any?” she asked.
“Yep, 3 males 2 females,” he replied.
Intrigued, she asked: “How can you tell?”
He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.”
that’s all for now…enjoy your wednesday…