random thoughts for monday june 18th, 2012

HEY HEY HEY…IT’S JAY DEAN BACK FROM VACATION…had a great time…will talk about it later on in the blog….

first of all, happy birthday wishes today to my papa, DEAN HAALAND of PIERPONT…LOVE YOU DAD!!!

1.  here are your monday funnies….

i would agree…this next one WAS a great  musical instrument….

i always wondered about flies….

older people…ha ha…gotta love them….

2.  sad news…..remember RODNEY KING?  he was the guy in the middle of the L.A. riots back in 1992,  after he said that LOS ANGELES police beat him silly…..since then, RODNEY KING has had a troubled life….

well, RODNEY KING died yesterday at the age of 47….he was found by his girlfriend in the bottom of his pool….how sad….

3.  this is going to make lots of people FEEL OLD today…SIR PAUL MCCARTNEY turns 70 today….SEVENTY…

almost all of the world knows PAUL MCCARTNEY as part of, quite possibly, the best band ever in the history of music…THE BEATLES….

he also was the lead singer of the 70’s group PAUL MCCARTNEY AND WINGS…

PAUL MCCARTNEY lost the love of his life in 1998, when his wife LINDA EASTMAN MCCARTNEY died at the age of 56…..

and here’s PAUL MCCARTNEY today on birthday number SEVENTY….

4.  we also have 70th birthday wishes for movie critic ROGER EBERT….remember him from SISKEL AND EBERT?

by the way, his tv partner GENE SISKEL died back in 1993 at the age of only 53….

ROGER EBERT had a much publicized battle with cancer in recent years…but he’s still going strong at 70…here he is recently…

5.  i was deeply saddened during my vacation to find out that my LANGFORD superintendent died…LARRY WATTIER was the superintendent for 40 years….yep…FOURTY YEARS…i had him in school, and so did my uncle back in the 60’s……

MR. WATTIER was an incredible man…very very nice….he used to walk into the school gym and challenge us in a basketball shot with the loser having to buy cans of pop…

but my greatest memory of him was during my senior year….he came into one of my classes about 2:30 in the afternoon and told me that he had tried everything to find someone to drive the school bus to PIERPONT to drop the kids off after school…and then he said, “can you drive the bus home?”  so, as a senior in high school, i drove my PIERPONT friends home from school…man, that wouldn’t happen nowdays..ha ha.

thank you MR. WATTIER for your incredible service to the LANGFORD school and LANGFORD community….you will be missed greatly….

6.  now on to our vacation…as you know, my wife and boys and i went to COLORADO last week…..

our vacation started out in COLORADO SPRINGS, where we saw a couple of great things like the “GARDEN OF THE GODS.”  very cool place…beautiful scenery, including the “balancing boulder.”

that same afternoon, we took a cog railroad ride to the TOP of PIKE’S PEAK…yes, the TOP…i was terrified during the ride, and really terrified at the top…it’s over 14,000 feet up, and i had a lot of trouble breathing at the top…..and guess what?  there’s a convenience store at the top…..ha ha…..

by the way, it was sunny and 74 when we hopped on the train at the bottom, and ELEVEN ABOVE WIND CHILL AT THE TOP…yikes…

after that it was a couple of very very relaxing days in BUENA VISTA, COLORADO…we stayed at a pastor’s retreat called “THE SANCTUARY.”  our hosts, KEVIN AND JULIE are incredible christians….we had such a blast with them…here’s the place we stayed at….

after that it was a day in DENVER, COLORADO, where we spent the day at ELITCH GARDENS THEME PARK…. had a very nice time there….not VALLEYFAIR, but a nice place….not many rides, but some pretty good ones…

this ride was, by far, our favorite ride…it was EXTREMELY FAST AND FURIOUS…..

we all put it in our top five rides of all time…

and on the way home, we came back a different way…thru RAPID CITY…why?  my son TYLER wanted a sandwich…that’s right, a sandwich…ha ha….he had eaten a couple of times at PHILLY TED’S in RAPID CITY, and said they were one of the best sandwiches he had ever had….

it was a very good sandwich….probably worth the few extra miles we put on…..

and then it was home friday night….we drove basically straight thru all day friday from DENVER….good to get home, but i miss COLORADO….

7.  we saw a few good movies this weekend…..when we came home from COLORADO, we went out with friends to see “ROCK OF AGES.”

GREAT GREAT MOVIE…really enjoyed it…if you want to see it, you’ll want to know it’s a musical….it’s not “GREASE”, but it’s very enjoyable…TOM CRUISE plays a great rocker legend….and as always, ALEC BALDWIN is hilarious….

while  we were in BUENA VISTA, my son TYLER  bought five movies….and we couldn’t decide which one to watch…so, all four of us went downstairs at the SANCTUARY, and played a game of darts…the winner got to choose the movie…I WON…i was WAY behind, and came back to win….

so, i chose a movie called “LARS AND THE REAL GIRL”, starring RYAN GOSLING…love love loved it…was a suprisingly funny movie….RYAN’S character gets a girlfriend…a blowup doll….but it has a great message to it, in addition to being very funny….

highly highly recommended…

and then on the way home, my wife and i watched a movie that my kids absolutely love…it’s called “GOON” starring SEAN WILLIAM SCOTT…it’s about a guy who becomes the “hitman” for a hockey team….really funny movie….

8.  NASA says the world will not come to an end for another four billion years…or 1000 more “TWILIGHT” sequels….(of course, they can make that prediction…they won’t be around to be proven wrong.”

9.  on her current tour, MADONNA is reportedly traveling with an entourage of 200 people…..30 of them are body guards, the other 170 are there to try and help her keep her clothes on….

10.  LINDSAY LOHAN is reportedly suffering from exhaustion due to her so called “workload.”  it’s like a KARDASHIAN suffering from exhaustion due to a long marriage…..(aaahhh…feels good to get in another KARDASHIAN slam….)

11.  bad weekend for movies… the TOM CRUISE movie “ROCK OF AGES” bombed…and so did the ADAM SANDLER/ANDY SAMBERG movie “THAT’S MY BOY.”  “THAT’S MY BOY” is expected to go straight to dvd, while ANDY SAMBERG is expected to go straight to SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE to ask for his job back…..

12.  this past friday, tightrope walker NIK WALLENDA crossed NIAGRA FALLS….hey, i just had a great idea on how to change the election process for congress and president….

13.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, the man called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, “I’m so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died.”
    The man was very upset and yelled, “You know, you could have broken the news to me better than that. When I called today, you could have said he was on the roof and wouldn’t come down. Then when I called the next day, you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet was working on patching him up. Then when I called the third day, you could have said he had passed away.”
    The brother thought about it and apologized.
    “So how’s Mom?” asked the man.
    “She’s on the roof and won’t come down.”

GOOD ONE..HA HA…

HAVE A  GREAT MONDAY EVERYBODY…GOOD TO BE BACK…

JAY DEAN

 

 

random thoughts for FRIDAY june 8th, 2012

IT’S FINALLY HERE…..AND NOT A MOMENT TOO SOON….

that would be me except, i’m not a dog, and that would be diet pepsi in the cup instead of what he probably has in there…ha ha.oh yeah, and i don’t have a silly red hat like that….

here’s a sign in CANNOT WAIT to see….

1.  here are your weekend funnies….

being it’s going to be hot this weekend, i thought i’d pass along a couple of “hotties.”

hey, we have towels like this in our house…

i laughed out loud at the next one!!

2.  happy birthday wishes are going out today to funnyman JERRY STILLER….he is 85 today…

you probably best remember him as PAPA COSTANZA on “SEINFELD.”

here’s JERRY STILLER recently…

here’s JERRY STILLER with the love of his life, actress ANNE MEARA…

and here is the proud papa with his son, actor BEN STILLER…..

3.  wow….NANCY SINATRA turns 72 today….she was quite the sex symbol back in the 60’s….

here are my two favorite albums by NANCY SINATRA…

the above album is with her singing partner LEE HAZELWOOD…LEE died in 2007 at the age of 78….here he is…

and here’s NANCY SINATRA at 72….

4.  we have to do some NANCY SINATRA music, and it wouldn’t be right if we didn’t do “THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKIN’.”

http://youtu.be/SbyAZQ45uww

here’s my favorite song of hers because she’s with my man, DEAN MARTIN… it’s called “THINGS.”

http://youtu.be/tBU1okBsAuA

and here’s LEE HAZELWOOD and NANCY SINATRA with the old JOHNNY CASH AND JUNE CARTER CASH song “JACKSON.”

http://youtu.be/rnkuRQ8tjIE

5.  here’s a name you probably haven’t heard in awhile….JAMES DARREN….he is a singer/songwriter who appeared in movies like “GIDGET”, and tv shows like “T.J.HOOKER.”  remember him?

JAMES DARREN turns 76 today….here he is today…

6.  sad sad news in the music world…..

singer BOB WELCH died yesterday at the age of 66 due to a self inflicted shotgun wound….BOB was an early member of FLEETWOOD MAC, but was mostly known for solo hits like “SENTIMENTAL LADY,” “EBONY EYES”, and “PRECIOUS LOVE.”

here are a couple of BOB WELCH albums you may have in your collection….

let’s remember him fondly with his great music…

here’s “SENTIMENTAL LADY.”

http://youtu.be/jE9CW-QHoUo

here’s “EBONY EYES.”

http://youtu.be/FnJOsfalSYs

and here’s “PRECIOUS LOVE.”

http://youtu.be/LNiJx_WMB_s

7.  sunday can’t get here quick enough…we leave sunday afternoon for COLORADO, and i cannot wait to be on 281 headed south…..we’re going to DENVER, COLORADO SPRINGS, and BUENA VISTA….lots of things planned, including staying in a multi million dollar pastor’s retreat up in the mountains…..

***by the way, i may try to put a couple of things on the blog next week…don’t hold me to it, but check back to see if i give you an update or two….

8.  a man from MIAMI who was standing outside of a BOSTON MARKET screamed at a cop that he would “eat him.”  he’s lucky he didn’t try that in NEW YORK CITY….he’d be arrested for threatening an officer and exceeding his daily calorie intake….

9.  the world’s largest landfill is closing in BRAZIL…more than 1700 employees will lose their jobs…..being they worked in a landfill, they have all been offered jobs on the set of “JERSEY SHORE.”

10.  “HAPPY DAYS” star ERIN MORAN is reportedly broke and living in an INDIANA trailer park…sad…but she’s still doing better than “POTSIE” and “RALPH MALPH.”

11.  the NFL is training replacement referees because of a labor dispute with the regular refs….it’s convenient because on sundays, the replacement refs won’t have to change clothes before they go back to work at FOOT LOCKER….

12.  actress AMANDA BYNES has tweeted a request to PRESIDENT OBAMA to fire the police officer who arrested her for a DUI…OBAMA probably won’t do that, but the SECRET SERVICE told her to show up in a short skirt and tight shirt and maybe they can work out something for her….

13.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

Two five year old boys are sitting in a hospital waiting room. One leans over to the other and says, “What are you in here for?”

The other says, “Circumcision.”

The first boy says “Oh, man! I had that done right after I was born. I couldn’t walk for a year!”

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND…TALK TO YOU IN A WEEK…

JAY DEAN

CAN YOU HEAR THE THUNDER?

i love it when new teams win…i love it when NICE teams win…that’s what happened last night when the OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER beat the SAN ANTONIO SPURS…they used to be the SEATTLE SUPERSONICS, and have only been in existance in OKLAHOMA CITY for four years….

congrats to them….they are now in the NBA FINALS….

and how can you not love the very humble star KEVIN DURANT?

ever since my MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES were eliminated, i have been on the THUNDER bandwagon…and i will continue for the rest of the season…..

speaking of MINNESOTA sports, how about the world champion MINNESOTA LYNX  WNBA team?  they win it all last year and are now 8-0  on the season so far…..they’re fun to watch, too….

it’s been a long time since people have had the opportunity to be this excited about a MINNESOTA team…

 

random thoughts for thursday june 7th, 2012

C’MON FRIDAY…IT’S THURSDAY…ONE DAY CLOSER….

1.  here come your thursday funnies…..

i couldn’t agree more with the next one…..

i LOVE this next one….

man, it’s amazing what ONE LETTER can do to a sentence….

i know some people that fit in the next category….

2.  today we’re going to feature a couple of shows that i loved watching back in the 70’s and 80’s….

first of all, “BARNABY JONES.”

remember the theme song?

http://youtu.be/jonoCXm9sQM

“BARNABY JONES” starred BUDDY EBSEN as the title character….and LEE MERIWETHER as his trusty secretary.

BUDDY EBSEN got his start in HOLLYWOOD at a very young age.

did you know that he was the first choice for the TIN MAN in “THE WIZARD OF OZ?”  true…he had a horrible reaction to the silver paint and almost died….he was then replaced by JACK HALEY, JR.

here’s BUDDY EBSEN as “THE TIN MAN.”

BUDDY EBSEN is best known for playing millionaire JED CLAMPETT on “THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES.”

BUDDY EBSEN died back in 2003 at the age of 95……

LEE MERIWETHER had an early role as “CATWOMAN” in “BATMAN.”

she was and is such a beauty…..

LEE MERIWETHER is now 77 years old…here she is today….

3.  the other show i want to feature today is the ANGIE DICKSON and EARL HOLLIMAN show “POLICE WOMAN.”

remember the theme from the show? plus a little clip from the show….

http://youtu.be/qLax5kn8tF4

the show starred ANGIE DICKINSON…did you know that she was born in KULM, NORTH DAKOTA?

ANGIE DICKINSON is now 80 years old….

EARL HOLLIMAN starred in the show as well…..

EARL HOLLIMAN is now 83 years old…here he is in the last few years….

and here’s a picture of ANGIE AND EARL together….

4.  i don’t know why, but the other day i started singing “FROM THE LAND OF SKY BLUE WATER.”  that, of course, if the HAMM’S BEER commercial theme from the 50’s thru 70’s….

so, i found one of their old commercials featuring the HAMM’S BEAR…..

http://youtu.be/JP8JgQxXO8U

5.  last night we had a youth group meeting in HECLA for our upcoming trip to NASHVILLE in july….one of my church kids is in ABERDEEN for the summer, so he rode with me…i found out a few things from that ride….mainly, my I-POD is ENTIRELY DIFFERENT than his….ha ha….while i have JOHN DENVER, GEORGE STRAIT, BEE GEE’S, ANDY GIBB, OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN and many more, he had…..ummm….let’s see…..let’s just say VERY DIFFERENT music…i don’t even know what some of that music is….

OH  CRAP…….I JUST TURNED INTO MY PARENTS….

6.  one of the main things i’m looking forward with our vacation next week is just getting out of the area for a week…the other thing is SLEEPING IN…

isn’t it amazing that waking up at 6am is sleeping in by two and a half hours for me?  crazy….

7.  our church softball team is cruising this year…not on the field, mind you, because we were crushed the other night…we’re cruising because we are getting new t-shirts and VISORS which we have never had before…..isn’t it funny how the small things in life sometimes mean more than big things?

8.  i wore a shirt the other day that i had cut the sleeves off…of course, my tattoos showed….a kid that i know who is probably 8-10 years old looks at me and says, “man, JAY, you are such a BAD ASS.”  don’t remember using that kind of language when i was that age…ha ha….

9.  FRIDAY is “DANIEL BOONE DAY”, which will be no big deal to DONALD TRUMP…he wears a coonskin cap all year long….

10.  DISNEY announced that they’re eliminating junk food ads in it’s kid’s programming….makes sense…now all they will promote are their nitrate soaked hotdogs and sugary, diabetes causing sodas that are sold exclusively at their theme parks….

11.  the OCTOMOM called off her debut at a strip club after she heard “people talking smack about her.”  she’s completely wrong…what they were saying is “you’d have to BE ON SMACK to want to see her naked.”

12.  the WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION says a dangerous untreatable form of gonorrhea is spreading quickly around the globe…THANKS A LOT SNOOKI AND CAST OF “JERSEY SHORE.”

13.  cute actress AMANDA BYNES has vowed to fight her DUI charges…c’mon give her a break…somebody in HOLLYWOOD has to be a “trainwreck” being LINDSAY LOHAN is filming in TORONTO….

14.  JOKE OF THE DAY: (a groaner)

a guy walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck…the bartender told him, “okay…sit down and i’ll give you a couple of beers..but don’t you be starting anything.”

HA HA….HAVE A GREAT THURSDAY…

JAY DEAN

 

 

 

random thoughts for wednesday june 6th, 2012

HELLO, MY NAME IS JAY DEAN…WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND?

1.  YOUR WEDNESDAY FUNNIES!!!

how about a little from the cranky old lady that we love!!

as much as i hate to admit it, the next one is probably right!!!

this one cracked me up….

2.  happy birthday wishes are going out to legendary tennis player BJORN BORG…i just love saying his name….he turns 56 today…between 1974 and 1981 BJORN won 11 grand slam titles, and he won WIMBLEDON five consecutive times…

here is BJORN BORG back in his glory days….

and here is BJORN BORG today at 56…..

3.  the cute little girl from “MY TWO DADS” and “STEP BY STEP” is turning 37 today…here name is STACI KEANAN…i’m sure you remember this cutie…

here she is with her fellow cast members…”MY TWO DADS” is obviously first, followed by “STEP BY STEP.”

and here is STACI KEANAN today at 37…..

4.  what about her “MY TWO DADS” co-stars?

PAUL REISER has done some wonderful projects since “MY TWO DADS.”  he, of course, starred in “MAD ABOUT YOU” with HELEN HUNT….

here is PAUL REISER today…he is now 55 years old….

GREG EVIGAN starred in a tv show called “B.J. AND THE BEAR”, opposite a chimpanzee.

here’s GREG EVIGAN today…he is now 58 years old….

5.  JAY’S SOAPBOX…

**first of all, to the car with SPINK county plates that was headed south last night on 281 about 9:30, i have two recommendations for you….first of all, GET THE HELL OUT OF THE LEFT LANE….when you are in the left and someone else is in the right, it’s a bit tough for people to pass when you guys are driving under the speed limit….secondly, watch your high beams….it’s bad enough that you’re cruising in the left lane, but then to have bright lights blinding me was just the frosting on the cake….this is one driving situation that continues to drive me crazy!!

***to the older lady from HAND county who was turning left onto 281 yesterday….when a car is coming across 281 and you are turning left, they get to go first, especially when they had been sitting there way before you……and, there’s really no reason to glare at the kid for him pulling out into the road before you started turning……

6.  guess what i started doing last weekend?  i’m four episodes in to the original “DARK SHADOWS” series from the mid 60’s….it, of course, was about a vampire named BARNABUS COLLINS….i forgot how much i loved that show…..the original “DARK SHADOWS” was an after soap opera, and i couldn’t believe how “low budget” it was…there’s even one scene where you see the shadow of the camera moving on the back of a guy…ha ha….

now i have a dilema…the new “DARK SHADOWS” movie starring JOHNNY DEPP ends on thursday night at CARMIKE…i can’t decide if i want to see it or not….

i don’t want him to ruin the glory of the original series, however, it might be fun to see how he reflects the vampire character…(no pun intended.)

well, i’ll do some soul searching before thursday night….(also no pun intended.)

7.  a telephone survey found that nearly two-thirds of AMERICANS oppose NEW YORK CITY major BLOOMBERG’S banning of large soft drinks…..to address the issue, the mayor has now banned phone surveys….

8.  an artist in the NETHERLANDS had his deceased cat stuffed and turned into a radio-controlled helicopter…naturally, it keeps getting stuck in a tree…..

9.  a DUTCH company wants to do a reality show that would send people to a colony on MARS for the rest of their lives….PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET THE KARDASHIANS AUDITION FOR THE SHOW….

10.  TMZ has discovered some old black and white modeling photos of “TANNING MOM” PATRICIA KRENTCIL back before she started tanning…this was when a mosquito could actually land on her without sizzling to death.

11.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

Once a devil walked in a bar,
Every one ran away only one man had the guts to stay.
The devil asked to the man aren’t you scared.
The man replied, “Why should I be, I married your sister 30 years ago”.

HAVE A TERRIFIC WEDNESDAY….

JAY DEAN

 

random thoughts for tuesday june 5th, 2012

IT’S TUESDAY…C’MON WEEKEND…I’M ON VACATION STARTING FRIDAY AFTERNOON AND IT CAN’T GET HERE QUICK ENOUGH!!

1.  here come your tuesday funnies…..

here’s a guy that might want to rethink his actions next time….

and now, a conversation i hope you never have to have!!!

the next one is for you, because you’ve probably always wondered!

umm..i don’t think this is what they had in mind……

2.  we are going to take a look at some legendary beauties today….

let’s start out with the incredible looking RAQUEL WELCH…believe it or not, RAQUEL is now 71 years old….and you will not believe how she looks today!!!

first of all, here’s RAQUEL WELCH back in her glory days!!

this is kind of funny….RAQUEL WELCH has a book out called “RAQUEL…BEYOND THE CLEAVAGE.”  ha ha….

here she is at a book signing….THE MOST INCREDIBLE 70 YEAR OLD I HAVE EVER SEEN….

3.  how about MORGAN FAIRCHILD?  MORGAN has always been such a beauty….

MORGAN FAIRCHILD is now 62 and still looking GREAT!!!

4.  another legendary beauty is SOPHIA LOREN…i’ve never been a huge fan of hers, but millions of men consider her one of the all time beautiful women…..

here she is years ago….

SOPHIA LOREN is now 77 years old…and she, too, looks awfully good for her age….

5.  last night was our first church league softball game for the gang from ST. JOHN’S LUTHERAN in HECLA….we were shelled in the game….but, i will say this….it was one of the most fun nights we have had together….being in church league doesn’t mean you have to win every week…it’s about fellowship and good sportsmanship….we’ll win some games this year, but last night wasn’t even close to being one of them…oh well, better luck next monday night….by the way, your favorite radio guy and blogger went two for two and scored a run…not bad for an overweight old duffer…..

6.  my family decided that we are going to drive all night to get to COLORADO this coming monday early afternoon…it’s like a 12 hour drive, and we plan on leaving around 11pm sunday night…..we figured with four of us who can drive, it’s only 3 hours each behind the wheel, and then we get out there in time to start being tourists…..our first plans?  riding a train to the top of PIKE’S PEAK…i’ll probably wet myself when we get to the top….

7.  the WHITE HOUSE is defending  a NEW YORK TIMES report about the use of PRESIDENT OBAMA’S use of drone attacks and his so-called “KILL LIST.”  it’s mainly a list of terrorists, plus the people who encourage the octomom to become a stripper….

8.  a government report finds that 20 percent of AMERICANS have an untreated cavity…..but don’t worry, TSA officials will take care of that in the airport….

9.  so-called comedian BILL MAHER bought part of the NEW YORK METS baseball team…MAHER says he’s an atheist, which is going to be bad for him, because when you own the METS there’s a lot of praying going on…..

10.  DREW BARRYMORE got married for the third time this past saturday…..her previous marriage lasted five months…or an eternity compared to KIM KARDASHIAN’S marriage….

11.  the NEW YORK TIMES reports that both BARACK OBAMA and MITT ROMNEY are huge “STAR TREK” fans…not suprising….PRESIDENT OBAMA usually distances himself in warp speed from anything VICE PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN says…

12.  a 19 year old woman who was high on marijuana, was arrested in PHOENIX after she drove away with her five week old baby sitting in a car seat on the hood of the car…the baby is okay…the girl told police, “hey, at least i wasn’t texting while driving.” 

13.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

John, Brian, and Bill were all locked away in a mental institution for many, many years. One day, the head doctor told them that if they passed a test he wanted to administer to them, they’d be deemed mentally competent and free to leave the institution. Should they fail, however, they’d be locked away for another five years of observation.
    All three took the doc up on his offer. The four of them went to the hospital’s indoor pool. The pool was drained of water. The doctor lead the patients up to the diving platform, some 60 feet in the air.
    The doctor motioned to John. “Jump.”
    Without hesitation, John leapt off the platform, right into the pool, breaking both arms in the process.
    The doctor noted this on his clipboard and told Brian, “Jump.”
    Also without hesitation, Brian flew off the platform into the empty pool, breaking both of his legs.
    After noting the results on his clipboard, the doctor told Bill, “Jump.”
    Bill shook his head. “Naw. I don’t think so.”
    The doctor noted this on his clipboard rather enthusiastically and said, “Congratulations, Bill. You’re a free man. You can now leave the institution. But before you go, just tell me one thing. Why didn’t you jump?”
    “Easy,” Bill said, “I can’t swim.”

HAVE AN OUTSTANDING TUESDAY!!

JAY DEAN

 

DICK BEALS DIES….

voice actor DICK BEALS died this weekend at the age of 85….

okay…be honest…you don’t know the name, do you?  i didn’t either…but i sure knew the voices he did…

DICK BEALS was the voice of “GUMBY.”

he also was the voice of “SPEEDY” the boy from the ALKA-SELTZER commercials….

but probably my favorite, DICK BEALS was the voice of “DAVEY” on the cartoon show “DAVEY AND GOLIATH.”  we never missed that show in our home…..

what a talented man….he also acted on radio dramas like “THE LONE RANGER”  “THE GREEN HORNET”, “DRAGNET”, and “GUNSMOKE.”  radio shows only….not the tv ones….(radio shows were better anyway….”theater of the mind.”)

it kind of makes me sad to see such talented guys never get their just rewards…..oh well, i’m sure he’s getting them now!!

 

random thoughts for monday june 4th, 2012

COULDN’T AGREE MORE…..

1.  here come your monday funnies…..

A FEW “SIGNS” OF THE TIMES….

wow…somebody’s trying to be funny…..

do you know what the next one means?  at some point in time, some idiot said, “damn, i’m sure thirsty…i’ll drink the first water my eyes can see.”

OH CRAP…LOOKS LIKE I’M GOING TO JAIL!!

somebody’s being creative…check this out….

umm…..doesn’t “bottomless” mean “bottomless?”

2.  today we say goodbye to actor RICHARD DAWSON….RICHARD played “NEWKIRK” on “HOGAN’S HEROES.”

however, RICHARD DAWSON is best known for hosting “FAMILY FEUD” for a little over a decade….his trademark was giving kisses to the ladies…..a source with the show estimates that RICHARD handed out over 20,000 kisses during the tv show’s run.

RICHARD DAWSON died saturday night at the age of 79….here he is in recent months…..

3.  happy birthday wishes are going out to sex therapist DR. RUTH WESTHEIMER….she turns 84 today…..

i will never forget the first time i heard her sex talk show…my beautiful wife JEANNIE and I were heading back home to THIEF RIVER FALLS, MINNESOTA, where i went to radio school.  as we were passing thru FARGO, we were scanning radio stations when we came across the sexy show…..we laughed the entire time we listened….and then when i saw a picture of this tiny older lady, it really made me crack up…..

anyway, DR. RUTH is 84 years old today…here she is recently….

4.  actor BRUCE DERN turns 76 years old today….you probably remember him from movies like “LAST MAN STANDING,” “THE BURBS”, “THE GREAT GATSBY” and more….seems to me that BRUCE DERN played a lot of psychotic in his career…..see if you remember him….

here’s BRUCE DERN today on his 76th birthday…..

did you know that BRUCE DERN is the father of actress LAURA DERN?  it’s true…here’s a picture of LAURA DERN and her mom and dad….BRUCE DERN and DIANE LADD….

5.  even though we had a busy weekend, we had the opportunity to go to a movie…so, the wife and i went to see “SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN”…it stars KRISTEN STEWART and CHARLIZE THERON….

our opinion?  we really liked it…it was very entertaining, had a great story, nice effects and pretty good acting….our only complaint is, we feel it could have been about 30 minutes shorter….had a couple of places in the film that kind of dragged, but overall, highly recommend this one…..

6.  at this time next week we will be in COLORADO on vacation….i just know this week is going to DRAG….when we get out there we’re planning on taking a train to the top of PIKE’S PEAK, plus we plan on going white water rafting…..we’re also going to an amusement park in DENVER, and we’re staying at a multi million dollar pastor’s retreat in BUENA VISTA, COLORADO…should be fun….and as i mentioned last week, i haven’t been this tired and burned out in a long time…definetly need a huge break…..

7.  june is “world naked bike ride month.”  damn..i have to buy a bike asap…..(trust me, nobody wants to see that!!)

8.  scientists have successfully cultivated a marijuana plant that doesn’t get people high…..”AND THE NOMINEES FOR USELESS WASTE OF GRANT MONEY ARE…….”

9.  HUGH HEFNER’S ex-fiance CRYSTAL HARRIS tweeted last week that she and HEF are back together…he will be so excited…once she tells him…..

10.  four time olympic medalist SHAWN JOHNSON announced her retirement from gymnastics….she said she’s tired of bending over backwards for people….

11.  MADONNA kicked off her world tour in TEL AVIV…she told the crowd she was performing in the MIDEAST to promote peace in the world…..everyone in the MIDDLE EAST is concerned about IRAN’S nuclear arms….now they saw something worse…MADONNA’S VEINY, OLD LADY ARMS….

12.  there’s a new report that ARSENIO HALL is in negotiations for a new syndicated talk show…no date has been set for exactly when JAY LENO will have him fired…..

13. JOKE OF THE DAY:

A man had a party where all the rich people attend.
And the he had a pool with alligators. So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes.
But no one wanted to go for the challenge. All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive.
So the host asked, “What are your three wishes?”
The man replied, “Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in ….”

HAVE A GREAT MONDAY MY FRIENDS…

JAY DEAN

 

random thoughts for FRIDAY june 1st, 2012

YIPPIE KY-YI-YAY…IT’S FRIDAY….

1.  your friday funnies….

hey, how about this?  a fast food place with a sense of humor!!

i know a few guys that need this next t-shirt!!

if you’re going to get a tattoo, find a tattoo artist who can SPELL!!

2.  happy birthday wishes on saturday go out to actor CHARLES HAID, who played OFFICER ANDY RENKO on “HILL STREET BLUES”…he turns 69 on saturday….remember him?

here’s CHARLES HAID today on the eve of his 69th birthday.

3.  on sunday, “THE GONG SHOW” host CHUCK BARRIS will be 83 years old….wow…eighty three……i used to love “THE GONG SHOW.”  i still think that CHUCK was on something when he hosted the show…ha ha….

here’s CHUCK BARRIS today at 83…..

4.  well, i do believe that my beautiful wife and i are going to a movie this weekend…we really want to see the new one called “SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN.”  it stars KRISTEN STEWART and the always hot CHARLIZE THERON….

5.  well, i couldn’t stand being on the sidelines last night at softball practice, so i jumped in head first…i batted a bunch of balls, and fielded a bunch, too….my hernia operation didn’t seem to bother me too bad….i’m still going to get my doctor’s clearance before i play full time, but it seems to be okay….

6.  OKAY EVERYBODY…THERE IS NO “ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE” COMING….you probably heard that horrible story from FLORIDA of a guy found eating another guy’s face……awful….trust me, this is just one sick guy…it’s not zombie’s taking over the country….you cannot believe the people on tv this past week who are SERIOUS about the zombie’s coming…..some people watch way too much tv and movies….

7.  just in case you’re wondering, the “INTERNATIONAL HORSERADISH FESTIVAL” runs today thru sunday in COLLINSVILLE, ILLINOIS…i find horseradish absolutely GROSS…back when we lived in VEBLEN, our babysitter used to eat horseradish out of the jar…..YUCK!!!

8.  i’m not saying whether i think JOHN EDWARDS is guilty or innocent in his trial, but he sure is SMUG when he talks to the cameras…..

9.  yesterday PRESIDENT OBAMA welcomed former PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH to the WHITE HOUSE for the official portrait unveiling of the former president…..they also had a nice lunch, and out of habit, sent the bill to our children….

10.  the associated press wants to clean up the area around it’s WASHINGTON, D.C. bureau office, because it’s become a hotspot for prostitutes……and off-duty secret servicemen….

11.  KATHIE LEE GIFFORD caused a very awkward moment this week when she asked actor MARTIN SHORT about his happy relationship with his wife, not remembering or knowing that she died two years ago…..KATHIE LEE was so upset she went home and tried to call her friend WHITNEY HOUSTON for support…

12.  this weekend, QUEEN ELIZABETH celebrates her diamond jubilee of SIXTY YEARS on the throne…she’s  even having a concert featuring ELTON JOHN, PAUL MCCARTNEY, AND STEVIE WONDER….very exciting…a queen that everyone looks up to…plus ELTON will perform for QUEEN ELIZABETH, TOO…

13.  according to a new study, that “old people smell” is a real thing….and no matter how many times DEMI MOORE bathes, she just can’t get rid of it…

14.. JOKE OF THE DAY…( and a good one, too…)

A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn’t like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking.
    The wife asks, “What are you waiting for?”
    The husband replies, “Autumn.”

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND…

JAY DEAN