random thoughts for tuesday july 24th, 2012

i want to take this time to wish a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the love of my life, my beautiful wife JEANNIE….

GOD sure blessed me with this wonderful woman…I LOVE YOU JEANNIE…and happy birthday….

1.  here come your tuesday funnies….

this one is funny…..

sadly, i have done the following….

this next one should be posted at our workplace….

2.  i cannot believe that actor CHRIS SARANDON turns SEVENTY today…i would have guessed maybe low 60’s…wow…CHRIS was married at one time to actress SUSAN SARANDON…he’s best known for the movies “FRIGHT NIGHT”, “THE PRINCESS BRIDE” and many others….

here’s CHRIS SARANDON today on birthday number 70….

3.  actor ROBERT HAYES turns 65 today….remember that name?  i guarantee you’ll remember his role in the “AIRPLANE” movies….

here’s ROBERT HAYES today on birthday number 65…..

4.  and finally, “WONDER WOMAN” turns 61…well, not exactly WONDER WOMAN, but the lady who played her, LYNDA CARTER…she was quite the hottie in her day….

here’s LYNDA CARTER today at 61…..

5.  only a few words are needed for the introduction of this next tribute…MAY GOD BLESS THEM….

6.  absolutely PERFECT night for softball last night…other than we lost again, and haven’t won a game yet…..the weather was nice and cool with a little breeze…sure beats the upper 90’s and high humidities that we had the last couple of weeks….

7.  i had dinner yesterday with one of my classmates from LANGFORD HIGH SCHOOL’S CLASS OF 1982….hard to believe, but we had our 30TH anniversary of graduation this summer…..it was nice seeing NATALIE, and reminiscing…..she doesn’t look like she’s in her upper 40’s, and i look like i could be her dad…ha ha….

8.  HILLARY CLINTON broke the record for the most number of countries visited by a secretary of state…she’s also the first secretary of state to have her husband in charge of her travel schedule…..

9.  FIAT is releasing a new line of cars that have a built-in espresso machine…it’s so the driver will have a nice drink to offer the mechanic….

10.  MARIAH CAREY is the new judge on “AMERICAN IDOL” to replace JENNIFER LOPEZ…..MARIAH will reportedly be paid $17 million dollars, which ironically is the number of notes she hits when singing “THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER.”

11.  octomom NADYA SULEMAN has earned enough money from her porn films and stripping gigs to get off welfare…however, she still can’t afford all the bills from babysitting….

12.  actor PATRICK STEWART helped carry the olympic torch yesterday…..his STAR TREK fans turned out to see their hero, which made for a rare combination…..GEEKS PLUS SUNLIGHT….

13.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

A man speaks frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”

“Is this her first child?” the doctor queries.

“No, you idiot!” the man shouts. “This is her *husband*!”

HAVE A GREAT TUESDAY…

JAY DEAN

random thoughts for monday july 23rd, 2012

BLECK…I COULDN’T HAVE SAID IT BETTER….

1.  here are your monday funnies….

i know i’ve used this before, but it’s just too good to pass up…..

this next one is funny…funny, but true….

and finally, this is ONE TOUGH MAMA….

2.  happy birthday wishes are going out to actor RONNY COX…he’s 74 today….

i remember RONNY COX in his early years starring in the tv show “APPLE’S WAY.”  remember that show? it was on from 1974-1975 and was by the WALTON’S creators….

maybe you’ll remember the opening credits to “APPLE’S WAY.”

http://youtu.be/iYVn2KU5b1E

RONNY COX also starred in “BEVERLY HILLS COP”, and “ROBOCOP” among many other roles…

 

here is RONNY COX recently…..happy 74th RONNY…

3.  actress EDIE MCCLURG turns 61…she was in “FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF”, “PLANES, TRAINS, AND AUTOMOBILES”, and has done numerous voices on cartoons….

here’s EDIE MCCLURG today…and yesterday….

4.  what person do you think of when you hear the following words….BILL CLINTON…WHITE HOUSE…BLUE DRESS…SCANDAL….

of course, you think of MONICA LEWINSKY….she turns 39 today….here’s the famous photo of her and the president….

and here’s MONICA LEWINSKY recently….

 

5.  i’m apparently a very SLOW LEARNER…burnt to a crisp again for the second monday in a row….and both of them happened at the AQUATIC CENTER….i’ll tell you this…nothing feels better than being in a pool on a super hot day….and cruising down the lazy river with your beautiful wife……however, next time…sun screen….unless, of course, i forget again…

6.  on saturday night, JEANNIE AND I sat down to watch the latest installment of the “AMERICAN PIE” movies called “AMERICAN REUNION.”  the gang comes back for a school reunion in this movie…..here’s the deal…IT’S RAUNCHY…IT’S DIRTY…IT’S GROSS…BUT IT’S HILARIOUS….

those characters are good, but our favorite is STIFLER….played by SEANN  WILLIAM SCOTT….

7.  21 people suffered severe burns walking across coals at a TONY ROBBINS motivational seminar….the power of positive thinking worked…they are all POSITIVE that they are going to sue him….

8.  LADY GAGA is denying rumors that she’s undergone extensive plastic surgery….she even had her doctor carve a disapproving frown on her face.

9.  tennis star RAFAEL NADAL has pulled out of the olympics because he says he’s “not in condition” to compete….how about that?  I DO HAVE A LOT IN COMMON WITH AN OLYMPIC TRAINED ATHLETE….

10.  PBS has fired actor FRED WILLARD as the narrator of it’s new show “MARKET WARRIORS” after the actor’s arrest for engaging in a lewd act at a porn theater…WILLARD was shocked at the firing…you could say he was “caught with his pants down.”

11.  LINDSAY LOHAN is working on her next project…a movie called “THE CANYONS” co-starring a PORN ACTOR named JAMES DEEN…your reputation can be ruined by working with someone who has a sleazy past…but the porn star says he’s cool working with her…..

12.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital.

Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.

 

“I have some good news and some bad news,” says the surgeon.

“The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!”

 

“Oh God no!” cries the man “My golfing is over! Please Doc, what’s the good news?”

 

“The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it’s a woman’s arm.

I’ll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant.”

 

“Go for it doc” says the man. “As long as I can play golf again.”

 

The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course

when he bumped into the surgeon. “Hi, how’s the new arm?” asks the surgeon.

 

“Just great,” says the businessman. “I’m playing the best golf of my life.

My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved.”

 

“That’s great,” said the surgeon.

“Not only that,” continued the golfer, “my handwriting has improved,

I’ve learned how to sew my own clothes and I’ve even taken up

painting landscapes in watercolours.”

“Unbelievable!” said the surgeon, “I’m so glad to hear the transplant

was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?”

“Well, just one problem,” said the golfer.

“Every time I get in the mood, I also get a headache.”

 

HAVE A GREAT MONDAY!!!

 

JAY DEAN

random thoughts for FRIDAY july 20th, 2012

I SING THIS SONG EVERY FRIDAY!!! remember that disco movie?

1. here come your weekend funnies….

THIS ONE JUST ABOUT KILLED ME LAST NIGHT….I LAUGHED FOR A LONG TIME….

BLECK to the next one…..

will YOU be my friend?

this one cracked me up this morning….

2.  happy birthday wishes are going out to former child actor CHARLIE KORSMO..he turns 34 today….guess what?  he was born in FARGO, NORTH DAKOTA…yep…and grew up for awhile in MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA….you might remember him from movies like “HOOK”, “DICK TRACY”, and the great BILL MURRAY movie “WHAT ABOUT BOB?”

today CHARLIE is a professor at a law school in CLEVELAND, OHIO…here he is back then and today….

3.  actor ORSON BEAN will turn 84 on sunday…he’s been around forever, and i mostly remember him from “MATCH GAME.”  he appeared on a lot of game shows….here’s ORSON BEAN back then..

here’s ORSON BEAN today at 84…….

4.  one of my favorite movies is “ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST.”  and one of my favorites roles ever is actress LOUISE FLETCHER as “NURSE RACHED” in the movie….she won an academy award for “best actress” because of that role…..

LOUISE FLETCHER turns 78 on sunday…here she is in the past couple of years….

5.  well, i’m going to be like millions of others, and try to see the new “BATMAN” movie “THE DARK KNIGHT RISES.”  i have a feeling this movie is going to set all kinds of box office records…..good luck getting a seat this weekend…ha ha…

tragedy has struck this movie already…..hundreds of people were at a midnite screening of this movie in AURORA, COLORADO overnight, when a gunman came in and opened fire…..at last report well over 14 people were killed and over 50 people were injured….i’m sure those totals will rise as you are reading this…please pray for the families…..

6.  well, i hope my sunburn on my chest and back is healed, because i’m going to toast it again this weekend….wow…highs in the mid to upper 90’s all weekend long…sounds like we’ll be at the aquatic center most of the weekend…..maybe THIS TIME i’ll learn to use suntan lotion….

you see, i’m 100 percent norwegian, so it takes a little while to catch on to things….ha ha

7.  archaeologists found 600 year old bras in an AUSTRIAN castle…they were right next to male skeletons trying to undo the clasp….

8.  KIM KARDASHIAN is the second highest paid actress on tv, earning 18 million dollars…the top one was actress SOFIA VERGARA, who earned 19 million dollars….KIM IS AN ACTRESS?  hmm..didn’t know that…unless you count her amazing performance saying “I DO” at her wedding….

9.  TOM CRUISE and daughter SURI escaped paparazzi in MANHATTAN by running red lights and speeding before boarding a helicopter and flying to NEW JERSEY….this marks the first time that anybody has rushed to get into NEW JERSEY….

10.  comedian FRED WILLARD was arrested for lewd conduct with himself in an adult theater….or as we call it “GETTING PEE WEE HERMANED….”  geez…remember the good old days when people rated movies with a THUMBS UP?

11.  PIXAR has confirmed that they are making a sequel to the hit movie “FINDING NEMO.”  because of the intense heatwave, people will flock to the theaters just to see cold water on the screen….

12.  A married fellow gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he asks. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, “Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted’s hiding in your closet and he’s got no clothes on!” The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. “You bastard!!!” says the husband. “My wife’s having a heart attack, and all you can do is run around the house naked scaring the kids?”

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND…

JAY DEAN

random thoughts for thursday july 19th, 2012

i’ve heard of “TGIF” before, but never “THANK GOODNESS IT’S THURSDAY.”

1. here come your thursday funnies…

this one cracked me up this morning….

i think this next lady just doesn’t get it…ha ha

we need more parents like the next guy…of course, the boy may never forgive him….

and finally, a very PUNNY joke….

2.  actor ANTHONY EDWARDS hits a milestone today…he turns 50 years old….you probably remember him as DR. GREENE  on “E.R.”, but i remember him mostly as GILBERT on “REVENGE OF THE NERDS.”

here’s ANTHONY EDWARDS today on his big day….

3.  what about some of the other members of the hit movie “REVENGE OF THE NERDS?”  do you remember some of the cast?

actor ROBERT CARRADINE played the lead role of “LEWIS.”  he is now 58 years old…

TIMOTHY BUSFIELD is known for the shows “THIRTY SOMETHING”, and “THE WEST WING”, but he also was a main character in “REVENGE OF THE NERDS.”  he played the super nerd POINDEXTER….TIMOTHY is now 55 years old….

the GROSS character on the hit movie from 1984 was “BOOGER,” played by actor CURTIS ARMSTRONG…he also played HERBERT on the hit tv show “MOONLIGHTING.” he is now 58 years old….

and finally, the jock turned nerd named “OGRE”, was played by DONALD GIBB…he is now 57…..

4.  nowdays you can get just about anything from a vending machine…BUT MASHED POTATOES?  yep…7-eleven stores in SINGAPORE are trying this weird machine out….

this is actually a good idea…i mean, how many times have you been walking around the mall and said to yourself, “man, i could sure go for a bowl of mashed potatoes!!!”  (umm…probably never)

5.  obviously, when i get up between 3:30am and 4:00am most every day, i go to bed by 9:00 or 10pm….but, last night i just couldn’t sleep, so i got up and made some toast and sat down to watch latenight tv….

i haven’t watched it for quite a while, but i’ll say this….CRAIG FERGUSON IS STILL THE KING…

i absolutely LOVE his show and his sense of humor…and he has a ROBOT as his sidekick…here’s CRAIG and his robot, JEFFREY PETERSON….

6.  HOT HOT HOT….they’re talking mid to upper 90’s all the way thru AT LEAST next wednesday…..sounds like we’ll be spending some time at the aquatic center this weekend…however, i may get smart and use some sunscreen…..i’m getting tired of looking like a big old bear standing in door corners scratching my back with the walls…..

7.  a study finds that people who are consistently online may develop mental disorders…you can read all about it on the internet….

8.  a new study says that SEVENTY PERCENT of women think that “they’re fat” at least THREE times a day…meanwhile, men have to say “YOUR BUTT DOESN’T LOOK BIG IN THOSE JEANS” at least TEN times a day….

9.  a woman from OKRON, OHIO, is panhandling by the side of the road to raise money for breast implants…seriously, she is…i just wonder what the heck her sign says…maybe this…”WILL WORK FOR  “D” CUPS…”

10.  actress HALLE BERRY was released from a LOS ANGELES hospital after suffering a minor head injury while filming her new movie “THE HIVE.”  she was saved on the set, because hundreds of men ran to her aid to give her mouth to mouth and chest compressions….

11.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

A rabbi, a priest and a minister have their houses of worship side by side, so they decide to carpool.
     On the first day, the other two are surprised to see the pastor lay hands on the hood and pray silently.
     “What are you doing?” the priest asks.
     The pastor looks up. “I’m just dedicating the car to the Lord’s service.”
     “Good idea! Be right back!” the priest exclaims, running into his church. He emerges with a bulb on a short stick, shaking water out of it onto the car.
     The rabbi stares. “What are you doing?” he asks.
     “I’m consecrating it with holy water,” the priest replies.
     “Great idea!” the rabbi says, and runs into his synagogue’s tool shed. He emerges with a hacksaw and takes an inch off the tailpipe.

(did you have to think about that one? ha ha)

HAVE A WONDERFUL THURSDAY!!!

JAY DEAN

random thoughts for wednesday july 18th, 2012

the answer to the following is…UNFORTUNATELY NO….

1.  here are some funnies to tickle your funny bone…..

hmm…wish i had thought about this one when i was in school!!

this next one got me..umm…EGGCITED….

and finally, one that is SO TRUE….ha ha…

2.  we’re going to find out whatever happened to a couple of child stars today…first of all, it’s the cutie pie SOLEIL MOON FRYE, who played the loveable PUNKY BREWSTER…

she is now 35 years old and is a beauty!!!

3.  how about the kids from “WHO’S THE BOSS?”

let’s start out first with ALYSSA MILANO…she is now 39 years old…here she is today….she played the daughter “SAM” on the show..

DANNY PINTAURO played the son “JONATHAN” on the hit tv show…he is now 36 years old….

4.  hey, my naked rain dance yesterday helped!!!! unfortunately though, six of my neighbors are now blind….yep…NOBODY wants to see that!!!  it’s great waking up in the middle of the night to heavy rain coming down…we needed it so bad….hopefully more comes today, because 95-100 degree temps are coming back thursday thru tuesday….and possibly longer….

5.  i haven’t watched “ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT” for a long time…i’m here to report that it has turned in to total crap and junk….it’s just like a sleezy tabloid…

last night they had a piece on TOM CRUISE, and he was carrying his daughter into his apartment building…he hadn’t seen his daughter in about a month….the reporter stated that “TOM CRUISE APPEARED TO BE HAPPY TO HAVE HIS DAUGHTER WITH HIM.”  geez…NO KIDDING….any parent would be happy to be with their children….idiots….

and then, they had a story on SYLVESTER STALLONE’S son dying…his name was SAGE….they reported something like, SYLVESTER is taking it hard and looked  visibly upset…REALLY?  SERIOUSLY?  i would think that ANYONE who loses a child would be upset…..i think i have watched that show for the last time…

6.  maybe the winds of change are blowing at our ping pong table at home…i created a monster when i taught my wife how to play…she has been CREAMING me in the last couple of years, and i’m a pretty good ping pong player….well, last night i used a different paddle and beat her two games out of three…..i have to brag a little, because i’m sure my time at the top will be very short lived…..she’s just too tough for me….she excels at about every sport she plays, but i never thought it would be ping pong….

7.  former congressman ANTHONY WEINER wants to return to politics…at least i think that’s what was in his text…i’m afraid to open it……

8.  the world’s heaviest woman said she lost nearly 100 pounds by making love seven times a day…wow…her husband weighs 140 pounds….well, at least he did the last time anybody saw him….

9.  for the first time in IQ testing, psychologists have found that females are smarter than males….obivously they didn’t interview any KARDASHIANS….

10.  STEPHEN R. COVEY, author of “the seven habits of highly effective people” has died…apparently the missing 8th habit of effective people was to keep breathing….

11.  for 15 years, a town in ALASKA has elected the same CAT to be mayor…his constituents admire how he puts up with a lot of crap, but has the ability to cover it up….

12.  the OCTOMOM, NADYA SULEMAN, finally made her debut at a FLORIDA strip club recently, but she only dances topless, not bottomless…why?  because every time she takes her pants off another baby falls out….

13.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

in a local bar there was a magic mirror. if you told a lie, it would suck you in…

a brunette walked up to it and said, “i think i’m the most beautiful woman in the world” and the mirror sucked her in.

a redhead walks up and says “i think i’m the most beautiful woman in the world” and the mirror sucked her in.

and finally, a blonde walks up and says, “i think…” and the mirror sucked her in….

HA HA…HAVE A GREAT WEDNESDAY EVERYBODY!!

JAY DEAN

 

random thoughts for tuesday july 17th, 2012

HEY, IT’S ONLY TUESDAY…WOULDN’T THE FOLLOWING BE GREAT?

1. we begin with sad news….the QUEEN OF COUNTRY MUSIC is dead…..that’s right, KITTY WELLS died yesterday at the age of 92….i actually met KITTY WELLS twice, and what a classy classy lady she was…..she played twice at CRAVEN CORNER before she retired in 2000….

KITTY WELLS is known for such country music standards as “IT WASN’T GOD WHO MADE HONKY TONK ANGELS, ”  “SEARCHING”, “AMIGO’S GUITAR” and many many more….

KITTY WELLS was married to country star JOHNNY WRIGHT for SEVENTY FOUR YEARS…yep…74 years….JOHNNY died  a couple of years ago….

here’s a couple of pictures of the queen of country music, KITTY WELLS…including one with her hubby, JOHNNY WRIGHT….

here’s KITTY singing with BRENDA LEE and LORETTA LYNN…

3. do you remember KITTY WELLS’ music?  let’s play a couple for you…

here’s one of the biggest selling songs in country music history…”IT WASN’T GOD WHO MADE HONKY TONK ANGELS.”

http://youtu.be/tKleTa94dC8

here’s one of my favorites, “AMIGO’S GUITAR.”

http://youtu.be/MqWKRWgeGZA

4.  here come your tuesday funnies….

OH, C’MON…I WANT TO GO SWIMMING!!!! I’LL BE CAREFUL!!

well, this next one sure fits me….

there’s a lot of truth in the next one!!!

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE…I LIKE THEIR MUSIC!!!

5.  legendary comedian PHYLLIS DILLER  turns 95 today…how about that?  and she’s been making us laugh for decades…here’s an early picture of PHYLLIS, and a picture from 1977 with FOZZIE BEAR….

here’s PHYLLIS DILLER in the last few years…..HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETHEART…AND THANKS FOR ALL THE LAUGHS!!!

6.  also today, actress DIAHANN CARROLL turns 77…remember her?  she starred in the groundbreaking tv show “JULIA.”

here’s DIAHANN CARROLL today at 77….

her son COREY on the show “JULIA” was played by actor MARC COPAGE…he’s still acting…he appeared in the BRUCE WILLIS movie “THE KID”, where he played LAWYER JIM….MARC is now 50…here he is today….

7.  wow…i didn’t know if i could even make it off the softball field last night…my asthma was really acting up because of the heat and humidity….i scored a run, and then it took about ten minutes to catch my breath…kind of scared me…..looks like it’s time to get an inhaler to carry around…i’ve been putting it off because my old inhalers would speed my heart up, but after last night i may be forced to get one….

8.  what’s my favorite part of my church job in HECLA and HOUGHTON?  doing funerals…seriously, it is…..and my second favorite part? helping people find GOD again….working with people on their faith…it’s SO SO SO rewarding……love it…..it adds to my faith watching people regain thiers…..

9.  a man from MICHIGAN tried to rob a bank by pulling up to the drive-up window and demanding $10,000 dollars and some suckers….the teller quickly called police and his dentist….

10.  a tourism official in CHICAGO issued a report saying that the city must curtail crime in order to attract visitors…unfortunately, somebody stole his report…..

11.  I’M VERY UPSET ABOUT THIS….next spring, director SAM RAIMI is releasing a prequel to “THE WIZARD OF OZ.”  my question is, WHY?  anyway, the movie will reveal why the scarecrow didn’t have a brain…he watched too much reality tv…..

12.  pictures of the “OCTOMOM’S” stripping gig in FLORIDA have surfaced….the pictures come with the same warning as a solar eclipse….”DON’T LOOK DIRECTLY AT THEM…YOU’LL BURN YOUR RETINAS.”

13.  LINDSAY LOHAN will have a new sister…her father MICHAEL LOHAN’S girlfriend KATE  MAJOR is pregnant…LINDSAY is so excited that she called the expectant mom and asked here whas she needs shoplifted for the nursery….

14.  JOKE OF THE DAY….(and a good one, too….)

A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of them suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head.
     The other redneck whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, “I think Bubba is dead! What should I do?”
     The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, “Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
     There is a silence… then a shot is heard.
     The redneck’s voice comes back on the line, “Okay, now what?”

HAVE A TERRIFIC TUESDAY…

JAY DEAN

 

random thoughts for monday july 16th, 2012

UGH…IT’S “THAT DAY” AGAIN….i’m glad i didn’t take the following advice…..

1.  here are you monday funnies!!!

POINT WELL TAKEN for this first one…..

i like this next one!!!

2.  actress PHOEBE CATES is one year away from FIFTY….yep…she’s 49 today….(see how i did the math?)

PHOEBE CATES is known for movies like “GREMLINS”, but she’s mostly known for “FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH”….and for that super sexy scene that everyone who has seen the movie knows about…..

here’s PHOEBE CATES today at 49, including a picture with her husband, actor KEVIN KLINE…..nice to know that a HOLLYWOOD marriage is actually working!!!

3.  i thought it would be fun to feature the tv show “LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY.”  it rain on ABC from 1976-1983…it starred PENNY MARSHALL and CINDY WILLIAMS…..

and here’s a picture from this year of the cast of “LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY.”  the picture also features the men who played LENNY AND SQUIGGY….actors DAVID LANDER and MICHAEL MCKEAN…

check this out:

PENNY MARSHALL is now 69

CINDY WILLIAMS is now 64

MICHAEL MCKEAN who played “LENNY” is 64

DAVID LANDER who played “SQUIGGY” is also 64…he has suffered from multiple sclerosis the past many years….

4.  my nephew DARWIN and his love fiance ANDI are getting married in a couple of weeks at FORT SISSETON…i have the honor of marrying them….

anyway, they told me yesterday that ANDI’S cousin, DANIEL of MINNESOTA might be playing for the wedding…WHAT A TALENTED YOUNG MAN…

check out this video of him…he plays every instrument in “THE DEVIL WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA.”  it’s amazing….

http://youtu.be/w6X0t0UI30k

5.  BURN BABY BURN…my beautiful wife and i went to the aquatic center in ABERDEEN yesterday to get out of the heat….and of course, being a fair skinned norwegian, i burned….but, i would do it again, because it felt GREAT…we had fun in the pool, and lots of fun on the lazy river…our life has been so hectic that yesterday was the first time we’ve gone all year….trust me though, we will go many more times this summer…..

so, if you are there and see a beached whale by the water…IT’S ME….

6.  just when you thought mankind was out of control and there were no good samaritans in the world anymore, we find this story….

a paralyzed man in KANSAS CITY was at a concert by his favorite singer BLAKE SHELTON….the problem was, he couldn’t see the concert…so, two nice guys picked him up so he could watch the concert…does that reaffirm your faith in mankind? 

7.  this past friday in COLORADO SPRINGS, COLORADO, a repeat bank robber was sentenced under the state’s mandatory sentencing laws to 1,256 years in prison….his lawyer was FURIOUS…the lawyer was trying to get him out in 800 years….

8.  also this past friday, moviegoers in PHOENIXVILLE, PENNSYLVANIA visited “BLOBFEST”, where the 1958 movie “THE BLOB” was shown….the blob, of course, was a sticky, toxic, gelatinous mass, that you could pretty much find on the floor of any theater in AMERICA….

9.  in LONDON, there are already stories circulating about wild parties with sex and drugs among U.S. olympians…what the heck? are they being guarded by the secret service?

10.  a man in COPENHAGEN climbed over the fence and went into the zoo where a tiger ATE HIM….a zoo official called it “a tragedy.”  the tiger called it  “GRRRRREAT!!!!”

11.  there are rumors that the ROLLING STONES are going to tour again…it’s all being based on whether they can get tour sponsorship from VIAGRA and DEPENDS….

12.  a federal judge has overturned a ban in ALEXANDRIA, LOUISIANA against fortunetelling…..ABSOLUTELY NO ONE SAW THAT COMING…..

13.  it was so hot at comic-con over the weekend that many attendees were found in the darkness of their parent’s basement…no wait…scratch that…that’s EVERY day….

14.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 store. As they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, “Wouldn’t a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?”

The second nun answered, “Indeed it would, sister, but I would not feel comfortable buying beer, since I am certain it would cause a scene at the checkout stand.”

“I can handle that without a problem” the other nun replied, and she picked up a six-pack and headed for the check-out.

The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of beer.

“We use beer for washing our hair” the nun said, “back at our nunnery, we call it “Catholic Shampoo.”

Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter. Pulled out a package of pretzel sticks, and placed them in the bag with the beer.

He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said: “the curlers are on the house.”

HAVE A WONDERFUL MONDAY MY FRIENDS…

JAY DEAN

random thoughts for FRIDAY THE 13TH of july, 2012

YEP…IT’S THAT DAY….

today is also “EMBRACE YOUR GEEKNESS DAY.”  and, as you probably know,  there was probably no bigger geek in high school than yours truly…..

so, embrace me today…and if you’re a geek, celebrate..ha ha…

1.  here come your friday funnies…

first of all, PROBLEM SOLVED!!!

this one cracked me up….

 

have you ever wondered what is on ADAM AND EVE’S tombstones?  i have the answer for you…ha ha…

2.  we are all getting older, but sometimes i have a birthday on the blog that shocks me…today’s one of them…

HARRISON FORD IS SEVENTY TODAY…..SEVENTY!!!

we know and love HARRISON FORD from “STAR WARS” when he played HANS SOLO…

and “INDIANA JONES.”

here’s HARRISON FORD today at 70, including a picture with his wife, the love of his life, CALISTA FLOCKHART…big age difference between the two, but they are madly in love, and their relationship is going strong….

3.  remember the character “FRENCHY” on the classic movie “GREASE?”  the actress that played her is having a birthday today…DIDI CONN is 61 today…..here she is in “GREASE”…

here’s DIDI CONN today at 61…..

4.  actor JAN MICHAEL VINCENT will turn 68 on sunday….i remember him from one of my favorite WALT DISNEY movies when i was growing up..it was called “THE WORLD’S GREATEST ATHLETE.”

he’s probably best known for the tv show “AIRWOLF.”

JAN MICHAEL VINCENT has had many issues in the past few years….including alcoholism…..here he is from a tv interview a few years back….

5.  my wife and i don’t make a habit of going to “kid’s movies”, but we’ll make an exception this weekend…”ICE AGE 4″ comes out…we’ve loved the entire series and this one looks great as well….our favorite character is the crazy animal that’s always chasing the walnut…..or acorn…whatever it is…..

6.  should JOE PATERNO’S statue come down at PENN STATE?  that’s the big issue now….this abuse scandal at PENN STATE continues to get worse, with investigators now saying that officials knew about it and did nothing…….as someone who endured such problems, i was happy to see SANDUSKY go to prison…he faces a minimum of 60 years, which basically is “life.”

but this statue thing will be a big issue…..JOE PATERNO was PENN STATE…he put the college on the map…and did amazing things for the school and for the students for decades….but, if the report is true, his actions were inexcusable…..

the debate continues……but i hope it’s over soon…..the healing needs to begin….

and i pray that the kids and adults who were abused get some closure on this……

7.  a poll says that couples who argue have happier relationships…geez..we must be the happiest couple in the world!!

8.  STARBUCKS is opening a store inside a FUNERAL HOME in SOUTH CAROLINA…yep..it’s true…but, this will be the first time that somebody else goes in the hole when you buy a drink at STARBUCKS…..

9.  yesterday the ROLLING STONES celebrated the 50th anniversary of their first public concert…what was it?  it was PEBBLE FLINTSTONES’ graduation party….

10.  there’s controversy over who owns the historic electric guitar that BOB DYLAN played at a legendary festival….BOB DYLAN knows the story, but nobody can understand what he’s saying…

11.  a woman in MICHIGAN kept her dead boyfriend propped up in his chair for months as she watched tv…why didn’t she report his death? because she was excited that it was the first time she used the remote…..

12.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

A man returns from Africa feeling very ill. He visits his doctor, who immediately rushes the guy to the Mayo Clinic.
     The man wakes up to the ringing of a telephone in a stark room at the hospital and answers it.
     “We’ve received the results from your tests,” says the doctor on the other end of the line. “Bad news, you have Ebola.”
     “Oh, my God,” cries the man. “Doc! What am I going to do?”
     “Don’t worry. First, we’re going to put you on a diet of pizza, pancakes, and pita bread,” says the doctor.
     “Will that cure me?”
     “No, but it’s the only food that’ll fit under the door.”

HAVE A GLORIOUS WEEKEND…

JAY DEAN

 

random thoughts for thursday july 12th, 2012

C’MON FRIDAY!!!!

1.  here come your thursday funnies….

probably a little truth to this one…or a LOT of truth..ha ha….

GOD BLESS THE REDNECKS!!

ATTENTION ALL MEN:  avoid this car with all your might!!! OR ELSE….

2.  happy birthday wishes are going out today to legendary comedian/actor/producer BILL COSBY…well, those are just the tip of the iceberg of what this guy has done….

BILL COSBY, in his early years, starred with ROBERT CULP in “I SPY.”

he also did a lot of the voices and the hosting of the saturday morning cartoon classic “FAT ALBERT.”

and, BILL COSBY is mostly known for his hit tv show “THE COSBY SHOW.”

believe it or not, BILL COSBY is 75 today…..SEVENTY FIVE…doesn’t seem right…here he is today….

3.  singer WALTER EGAN turns 64 today…..you probably remember him for one big hit in 1978…..

here’s the album cover a lot of us had in 1978…WALTER EGAN’S album was called “NOT SHY.” and those words are used in his hit “MAGNET AND STEEL.”

here is WALTER EGAN today at 64…..

4.  and now…the song that millions of people loved back in 1978…i was absolutely CRAZY about this song…birthday boy WALTER EGAN and “MAGNET AND STEEL.”

http://youtu.be/B7DAHi_Cks8

5.  and finally, the little boy from “MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE” turns 21 today….ALREADY?  wow….

his name is ERIK PER SULLIVAN…he played the prankster son DEWEY on the hit tv show….

here is ERIK PER SULLIVAN recently….HAPPY 21ST, ERIK….

6.  deer are stupid…although i’m glad this one did this…i was coming home late last night from HECLA after a church council meeting, and i met a deer….he stood in the other lane of the highway staring at me as i slowed down and drove past him…..happy for that, but couldn’t believe he didn’t run…even after i honked the horn…COCKY DEER…..

7.  here’s a classic memory for those living in this area, or those who are from this area……

IKE’S CHICKEN SHACK IN BROWNS VALLEY, MINNESOTA….

a friend of mine and i were talking about IKE’S the other day…..we used to go there all the time, usually with my GRANDMA AND GRANDPA RAMSEY from BRITTON….we would pack the car, or take two cars and head to BROWNS VALLEY for supper…my favorite part of the place was watching the silent movies….

and my greatest memory of IKE’S CHICKEN SHACK is being outside with GRANDMA looking at the animals in the cage….all of a sudden a monkey picked his nose, hit the goldmine, and ate it in front of us…GROSS, BUT TRUE…..we were done eating at that time, but i still almost vomited…..

8.  a man from OHIO cleaning his grandfather’s attic, found mint condition baseball cards that could be worth around THREE MILLION DOLLARS….he said, with the money, he may not be able to afford going to a REAL baseball game….

9.  the mayor of a town in GERMANY made parking spaces that are for men only….it’s true….however, a lot of times they’re empty because men can’t find them and won’t ask for directions…..

10.  a FLORIDA strip club is suing the OCTOMOM for not honoring a contract to perform at the strip club….either way she could lose her shirt…..

11.  friday’s NATIONAL ENQUIRER says that KRIS and BRUCE JENNER’S marriage is in trouble after KRIS has been getting cozy with a former boyfriend…..BRUCE could walk out….no more being with KRIS, and no more hanging around the KARDASHIAN girls…..so, what’s the downside of this?

12.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.

‘Come with me’, said St. Peter to the taxi driver.

The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.

‘Wow, thank you’, said the taxi driver.

Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.

‘Wait, I think you are a little mixed up’, said the priest. ‘Shouldn’t I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God’s word.’

‘Yes, that’s true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed!’

HAVE A GREAT THURSDAY!!!

JAY DEAN

random thoughts for wednesday july 11th, 2012

HAPPY HUMP DAY….

here are your wednesday funnies….

every man can appreciate this next one….

and, almost all of us can appreciate the next one….

 

 

1.  i talked yesterday about our youth group trip to NASHVILLE this past week…..here is a picture of our group outside the MARRIOTT in FRANKLIN, TENNESSEE….

we had t-shirts on that said, “you may not like me, but JESUS thinks i’m to die for.”  cool idea….

2.  happy birthday wishes are going out to a woman’s dream man back in the 50’s and 60’s…it’s actor and singer TAB HUNTER…he turns 81 years old today….here he is back then…..

here is TAB HUNTER today at 81……

3.  TAB HUNTER’S number one hit was “YOUNG LOVE.”  of course, country star SONNY JAMES had the biggest version of that song, but TAB’S rendition did go number one….

here it is…..

http://youtu.be/rC_lILWOKY8

4.  SUSAN SEAFORTH HAYES has a birthday today…you probably remember her and her real life husband BILL HAYES playing DOUG AND JULIE WILLIAMS on “DAYS OF OUR LIVES.”

SUSAN SEAFORTH HAYES turns 69 today…..here husband BILL HAYES is 87…didn’t know they were that far apart….

here they are today…..

5.  actor BRUCE MCGILL  turns 62 today…you probably don’t remember his name, but if you’re a fan of the movie “ANIMAL HOUSE” you will remember him…

he played the crazy character DANIEL “D-DAY” SIMPSON….

in the last couple of decades he had been in many tv shows and movie…in fact, i didn’t realize he was the guy that was in “ANIMAL HOUSE.”

here is birthday boy BRUCE MCGILL today at 62…..

6.  in carrying on our family tradition of the birthday person picking their activities for thier birthday, we went out last night to celebrate our son MITCHELL’S special day…….

we started out with a few steaks at MAVERICKS, and then MITCH decided to go mini  golfing at WYLIE…unfortunately for the birthday boy, he finished up in last place….our son TYLER won the event, followed by JEANNIE and then yours truly….i actually wish that i would have gotten last place so MITCHELL wouldn’t of had to endure that for his birthday……he told us last night that he has NEVER won in mini golf……he will someday……

7.  i almost had to CRAWL into bed yesterday afternoon…i took a two and a half hour nap after our trip to NASHVILLE…i think it should be mandatory to take two days of vacation after you get back from vacation…..completely exhausted…..

8.  this week is “NUDE RECREATION WEEK.”  for all guys, next week is “ICE YOUR GROIN AFTER PLAYING NUDE  FOOTBALL WEEK.”

9.  APPLE is reportedly developing an I-PHONE that is mounted to the user’s head…..kind of like…ummm…well…an I-PHONE….

10.  two men in GEORGIA were arrested for getting into a brawl after a little league baseball game….both of their sons are being recruited….by therapists…..

11.  a man from NEW YORK is about to hit THREE MILLION MILES on his 1966 volvo…geez…you would think at some point the guy would just stop and ask for directions….

12.  a 64 year old woman in SELMER, TENNESSEE was arrested for whacking her baptist minister in the face with a BIBLE after she was voted out of the church….she told a reporter that the minister “has a demon in him.”  not anymore…she slapped the hell out of him….

13.  actor PETER O’TOOLE announced he is retiring from acting on both stage and screen….now there will be a huge fight between male porn stars for the right to use his name….

14.  JOKE OF THE DAY:

Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them, “I never want to live in a vegetable state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”

They got up, unplugged the computer and threw out my wine!

HAVE A TERRIFIC WEDNESDAY….

JAY DEAN